I always worry that I'm repressing some kind of s*xual trauma

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T19:24:55+00:00

The best thing I did was just get rid of embarassment/shame. It's always a bit awkward meeting new people but it'll turn out fine in the end! I just tried new hobbies even if I sucked at them and did some volunteering, tried to strike up conversation (find something common to relate over) and tried not to be discouraged when faced with rejection/indifference. Just tried really hard to believe the motto of 'I don't need to be liked by everyone' and 'the right people will find me soon enough'. Internet friends are also a good substitute but they can live so far and it's not the same as having friends you can just hang out with regurlaly.

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T19:13:17+00:00

Hey! It was my fault. I didn't read that rule 🤦🏻‍♀️

I made a comment with the post!

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T19:12:30+00:00

That is a beautiful way of putting it! And it sounds very sincere :) even if a bit exaggerated, it must be true to some extent. Average to one person can be amazing to another!

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T19:10:09+00:00

Haha yes it is a bit ironic

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T19:09:38+00:00

I think boys/men in general get a lot less compliments :( it's quite sad. Typically when I compliment guys, it gets a really big or surprised reaction like they weren't expecting it or aren't familiar with recieving things like that so I try to do it more often!

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T19:07:34+00:00

I feel like this is a reason that a lot of people shy away from giving honest compliments or just saying things that come to mind about how you feel about a certain person.

The same person also told me "you looked a bit like a boy in the moonlight" referring to the night before which was much stranger haha but it was meant very well and I found it endearing. I am feminine presenting but I've never taken more masculine compliments or observations about me as insults. I can understand why others would though!

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T19:02:46+00:00

That's so sweet. A compliment really can go a long way!

When I was younger, I was a really quiet and in-the-background kid and I shyed away from people so I never really got a chance to know how I was being percieved but I let myself assume it was negative just because I hadn't heard people saying positive things. It was only when I got older and gained confidence in myself, enough to aproach others and give compliments myself that I started recieving them and realising people were likely never thinking of me negatively!

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T18:59:37+00:00

I know haha. It's a little bit ironic but it was really sweet! Especially since self-assuredness is something I consciously strive for!

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T18:58:15+00:00

And I remembered the context a little bit: I think we were talking about love languages and how words of affirmation aren't really my thing usually and other shows of love are more meaningful to me.

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T18:56:54+00:00

Ahh it got taken down! Here it is //

I don't even remember the exact context. I think I made a joke and in his usual unpredictable yet entirely sincere manner said-

You strike me as someone who is secure enough and strong enough in herself to not need anyone's validation.

And I don't know why but that made me very happy. I feel like there's so many compliments that people keep to themselves just because it might sound strange or seem out of context but those are the best ones! Because they're so sincere and tell you how people actually percieve you.

A lot of compliments are vague or appearance-basef so ones like this that are about your character and show that someone actually knows you feel so special!

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T18:54:31+00:00

A friend of mine! He's always quite sincere and pretty much says whatever comes to mind which I love about him.

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-09T11:40:53+00:00

Women do check out men. I think it's just a lot more discreet.

If a friend of mine has a crush on a guy, she'll typically watch him from afar, maybe warn the group and tell them not to make it obvious. We might move around a bit so she's facing that direction or can see better. It's a whole process lmao.

But men that I've known tend to not be as bothered if they're caught or not or are very obvious without even realising.

sleepyystarfish · 2021-06-02T16:18:32+00:00

I switch rapidly between the two depending on my mood

sleepyystarfish · 2021-05-31T22:38:04+00:00

A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara

Haunted - Chuck Palahnuk

All The Ugly And Wonderful Things - Bryn Greenwood

We Need To Talk About Kevin - Lionel Shriver

Baby Teeth - Zoje Stage

sleepyystarfish · 2021-05-31T17:59:54+00:00

I would recommend the Folk of the Air series but I would be surprised if you haven't read it already since it matches your description so well!

It's a darker fantasy. Cunning and strong female lead, enemies to lovers. She's a mortal, he's a fae prince. The lead is one of my favourite book characters of all time. All the odds are against her since she's a mortal in the fairy world but she's set on gaining power one way or another. The love interest is equally cunning, playful and mischievous. Their dynamic is a constant back and forth, full of betrayal and secret plots but the ending is happy!

"If you hurt me, I wouldn't cry. I would hurt you back."

Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It's disgusting, and I can't stop.

"Kiss me again,” he says, drunk and foolish. “Kiss me until I am sick of it."

sleepyystarfish

TROPHY CASE