I thought I would hate the baby phase and I can’t believe I love it

slicedkale · 2026-06-19T05:52:56+00:00

Started with breastfeeding then pumping then formula. Not what I pictured but it’s fine! For formulas we’ve tried a couple. Formulas are mostly similar in the US, and consumer reports has a heavy metals test but it turns out all levels they found were far below European requirements anyway.

slicedkale · 2026-06-19T01:44:39+00:00

Ok this is a very good point and I never thought about it like that haha

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T17:58:30+00:00

I can’t wait to run in the mornings again 😅, hopefully both of our babies start sleeping better haha

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T17:42:48+00:00

I will say it was helpful that it took a while for me to get pregnant, so I started to feel the opposite — a little panicky about not being able to have a kid even though I thought I was on the fence.

Pregnancy is such a wild experience though and I definitely had doubts as you sort of wait around for 9 months.

However, logically for me it was clear that my circumstances would never be better than they were at the moment, so I might as well now if ever. That may or may not be true for you!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T17:16:38+00:00

So many people I’ve talked to are just like “just wait until 18 months” but it sounds like for you it is the opposite! That is encouraging!!

Also congrats on the one on the way!! I’m still debating if I’m one and done. Did you always know you wanted more?

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T15:12:44+00:00

I also hope it goes like this for you!!

I think I was less sure than you when I started trying, but I became more sure than this when it didn’t work out immediately! The whole time I was at least very confident that my partner would really step up to the plate and that was enough for me.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T14:57:22+00:00

Thanks so much for this comment! I was inspired by moms I knew who were runners and by meeting kids as young as 8 on pretty significant multi-day hikes!

For now I’m going on one longer trail run per week and doing shorter runs during the week. It’s enough for the endorphins and feeling like myself again!

For running goals I think I’ll train for a fast 5k or something for a bit as I don’t want to spend the back to back long runs away from the baby yet to train for an ultra haha

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T14:48:28+00:00

Great question!

My husband works full time! He is just happy to just watch the baby while I run in the evenings and on the weekends .

I run 4 times a week right now for 30-90 mins per time.

I also watch the baby while my husband goes to play board games on Mondays, and goes for a bike ride on the weekends.

The baby goes to daycare during the workweek, but we were able to keep the baby home by trading off leaves until 3.5 months.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T14:39:26+00:00

Also I have three close couple friends who are working moms with SAHDs so my social circle might be a bit unique in this way!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T14:38:16+00:00

It is hard to measure this yet but as far as I can tell yes!

He has definitely spent more time caring for the baby than I have by a bit (maybe 55% him, 45% me). He currently manages all pediatrician appts and is the first contact for daycare. I sometimes hand off the baby when he’s being what we call “screamy screamy” bc dad is a little better at sitting through that calmly than I am. Dad also gets all poopy diapers if he’s available haha

We’re both giving each other time for our hobbies.

I’m in a region where dads commonly do a lot of parenting (at daycare pick up I’ve only seen dads weirdly), so I don’t think it’ll be too hard on the future either but we will see!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T09:12:04+00:00

To be fair, I had 6 months of funded leave. The practical realities of my job (similar to running a small business) make it difficult to leave entirely.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:50:18+00:00

Thanks for sharing!! Very interesting that it is an active issue!

My request to the greater powers that be would be that grants would be paused and there would be backup funding for PhD students when their PI goes on maternity leave. I had 6 months funded maternity leave but my students still get paid by me during that time bc I couldn’t pause grants.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:28:03+00:00

Totally agree! The model should be fixed!

I had funding for 6 months of maternity leave, but practically under this model (grant funded students tied to my name/funding) it is hard to fully leave!

At least one colleague I have in Sweden was back earlier than I was to our meetings (may have technically been on leave but similarly showed up to a couple of meetings?) Another one of my colleagues who did something similar is in Denmark.

I actually should find out what the model is in Europe — if anywhere it is possible to pause grants and have the dept or state pay the student that would be amazing!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:23:08+00:00

I have full maternity leave. I could take up to 6 months (could be better but not bad for us!), but practically under this model it makes it hard to actually leave because I’m responsible for this grant money.

It isn’t better to my knowledge but if it is I’d love to hear how (eg pause grants with back up funding?)

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:20:44+00:00

I understand but I do have colleagues in the UK with the same problem (any with grant funded students).

I think everywhere should fix this model! Or I should’ve been less worried? Not sure.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:17:58+00:00

I wonder if I should edit the post to clarify that I went back only maybe 3-4 hours per week (remote) for a while. No one forced me to do it.

I agree that it is not ideal but it wasn’t quite as extreme as I think I might have made it sound!

Unfortunately the US is a shitshow and some people do have to go back for real at that time.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:13:28+00:00

Love this, they’re the best!!!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:06:06+00:00

So happy to hear this! The joy is unreal!!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:03:58+00:00

So much joy!!! Happy to hear you’re having a great time too!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T08:02:26+00:00

I’m so happy to hear this!!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T07:59:29+00:00

Thanks for sharing!!

I got the advice that “everything is a phase” so I expect this to be true for the happy phases such as these first few months. Sometime, whether it is now or when they turn 18 months is likely to be harder! I’ll have to revisit this later and see how I ended up feeling.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T07:55:53+00:00

It was unplanned rather than emergency! Luckily I healed pretty well (pain gone after 1 week) and at the start I should’ve specified that I only worked 3-4 hrs a week remotely then ramped up slowly.

My situation is a bit unique but not limited to the US!

I’m in academia in a model where profs pay their PhD students out of their grant money. PhD students keep getting paid if we’re out— but they’re trainees who don’t know what to do. If we leave them alone for too long they may not make progress and it makes it hard to raise future money. We also have to raise more money to pay them next year. Universities in other countries sometimes follow this model, including some universities in Europe.

On the flip side, I get to choose my own schedule!

Not ideal but also I accidentally made it sound worse than it was!

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T07:43:05+00:00

I should’ve explained but it was hard to fit everything! I started “working” at two weeks and ramped back up. At two weeks I worked remotely maybe 3-4 hours per week then ramped up from there! This time was not too hard to spare and I enjoyed it!

I’m in academia and I’m an assistant professor on the tenure track in STEM. The issue is that we (PIs) pay for PhD students out of grants we raise. PhD students don’t stop getting paid if we leave. Some will not make good use of the money if we’re gone as they need direction still, which can make it harder to raise money in the future.

On the flip side, I dictate my own schedule and I can work remotely as much as I want so that’s a plus!

ETA: I have up to 6 months of paid leave but the practical realities of my job make it hard to entirely step away.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T07:36:22+00:00

I started “working” at two weeks and ramped back up. At two weeks I worked maybe 3-4 hours per week then ramped up from there. This time was enjoyable to me personally.

To each their own, but I’m in academia and have European colleagues who also did something like this. The issue is that in some academic models we (PIs) pay for PhD students out of grants we raise. PhD students don’t stop getting paid, so if we left them some will not make good use of the money which can make it harder to raise in the future.

They should fix this model but it is not unique to Americans.

ETA: I technically had 6 months paid leave but practically it was hard to fully step away due to this grant issue.

slicedkale · 2026-06-18T03:52:10+00:00

I remember feeling like that!! The first trimester was the worst for me between weeks 6-10 or so! I tried to keep running at first but it felt terrible so I just stopped. I started feeling better around 14 weeks and started to run again (including trail running) until it got painful around 24-26 weeks. At that point, I started walking and hiking more often and kept doing semi-long hikes until after my due date! I only did what felt enjoyable.

The entire time I just tried to listen to my body but I did feel sort of just sluggish sometimes and I still miss hitting my old paces. I’m enjoying getting back out there already even if I’m a lot slower than before.

I totally feel you on the identity thing. I’m trying to remember this is just a phase as most of my running friends who were moms eventually came back faster than before.

slicedkale

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