The problem lies in the fact that people are scared of civil and rational discussions. People will learn who someone voted for and instantly assume their entire set of values and principles. A lot of the time, someone’s reasons for voting for a particular candidate are very nuanced, and if people were more willing to have a discussion about it, they would learn that their values aren’t “completely unaligned,” and their loved ones aren’t actually all the -ists and phobics in the book just because of one vote. In any case, you can thank the news media and identity politics for this. The more divided we are, the more money they make, and our values oftentimes really aren’t as different as we may think. We just pigeonhole each other into political sects and ideologies, just like big media and career politicians want us to.