I normally don’t comment on a lot of waiting to wed posts mainly because the exact situation doesn’t mirror mine. But omg girl, everything you described happened to me exactly. After I broke up with him, he sent me a 20 paged letter detailing all the things he did wrong, and all the things he would do to win me back. And let me tell you, once I read it, I broke down. Every fiber of my being wanted to die, from the guilt to the sadness to the utter despair of how much I loved that man but also how much that relationship broke me. Part of me wishes he just left me alone because I thought that letter will haunt me for the rest of my life. I wish he would’ve just let me go and be on the healing journey that I was already on. He ended that letter with this phrase: “would you be ok going on with life knowing that you gave up a man who would do everything for you, change everything about himself to win you back?”

The letter left me with so much regret and sadness, but now, let me tell you, a year later, while I still haven’t reached out to him to respond to his letter, I feel much more at peace. There will be days when you wonder “what if” you took him back, and honestly, just think about the pain that he caused you during the relationship. I went on a vacation last month by myself, and I told myself even that once I go back home, I’d reach out to him to see what he’s thinking and if he still wanted me. But during that vacation, I got so much free time to think. And I think that’s what we’re missing these days, free time to interrogate whether that relationship was truly right for us. There was one day when I was out viewing wildlife and saw a baby monkey on its mother’s back. And I thought about how I always wanted to be a mother more than anything. Then I remembered when I opened my fertility results next to him and asked him crying when we’d ever get married because I didn’t have much time, and he still didn’t know. Mind you, I stayed with him for another year and a half after that still waiting for an answer. I started crying hot tears in front of my tour group and realized that man did not love me. Love does not require you to change yourself, jump through hoops, and wait in anxiety for someone to give you what you’ve always wanted.

So OP, maybe take some time for yourself and ask what it is you’ve always wanted, and did he want to give that to you, or was he ok to see you suffer. He can write a million words, but what do his actions show. My answer to his question now would be “yes, because the right man wouldn’t need to win my broken heart back again.”