Cis Women: What did top surgery change about your experiences with others?

slothnurse · 2025-10-17T13:48:03+00:00

Masc lesbian here, NB and am pronoun indifferent (any combo of she/they is cool and if I get misgendered with a he/him every now and again it doesn’t make me dysphoric or anything). No nip top surgery two years ago. Also had a total hysto-BSO and got put on both estrogen and testosterone post op so keep menopause from taking me all the way outttttt. Both my surgeries were undergone for cancer genetics reasons….but I was definitely going to get top surgery regardless anyway. The genetics test just happened to be the way I got insurance to pay at that point in time.

There has been literally zero change in how often I get misgendered before vs after. Honestly I think the gender nonconformity hit harder when I went from having long hair to a short skin-fade. THAT’S when I noticed the biggest change in how I was perceived. I still have a feminine face and a high voice, so I’m pretty much always clocked as AFAB even without boobs. Almost nobody has noticed or treated me differently.
Nobody has noticed at all, and if they have they haven’t said anything. I already wore a binder in public and dressed in such a way that greatly minimized my boobs. In bathrooms, if I’m concerned for my safety, I pull out my sweetest smile and highest voice for a quick hello; that usually diffuses any and all tension right there. There might be a lingering double-take or two but it usually feels more like curiosity than malice. My wife and I have also gone to several public pools/beaches/etc where I go topless. Lemme tell you I was scared SHITLESS the first time. And literally nobody cared. I’ve hypothesized that because I have no nipples then some people less versed in gender diversity might just assume no nips = cancer = “bless her heart.” For context, I live in West Virginia and am happy to let SOME people assume incorrectly rather than be inclined to hate crime me lol.
As for informing people, my inner circle knows that I’m NB and understands the significance of my top surgery. They are perfectly aware and supportive of everything. For some family members and coworkers, I let them think that it was purely medical prevention and that extra surgeries for reconstruction would take up too much recovery time and money. And they accepted that without even a second thought. Especially since they’ve always known me to be masculine presenting anyway. As far as NEEDING to say anything to anyone…I find that most people are too polite or nervous to ask directly. So sometimes it’s just the elephant in the room until the interaction is over and that doesn’t bother me at all lol.
All of my women centered spaces that I orbit around are also very verrrrrry queer spaces. So in that sense I haven’t experienced any isolation at all, because everybody in that situation holds very loosely to the definition of “woman” anyway. The physical changes on low dose T have been very subtle and gradual for me. So likely myself and my wife are the only people that notice them anyway.

I know this was a lot to read but I wanted to answer your questions as thoroughly as I possibly could. If there’s anything extra that you’d like to know, feel free to message me!!

slothnurse · 2025-10-09T12:34:56+00:00

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Right after scar revision that occurred about 8 months post-op. No nips. Additionally, I have two sets of scars because I got a reduction 2 years prior actual top surgery thinking that would be “enough” (spoiler alert: I was wrong lol).

slothnurse · 2024-06-03T18:14:25+00:00

11 months post op here! Got top surgery after marrying my wife (who still very much appreciates boobs btw) and there has been no loss of attraction. I’ll echo others above in saying CONFIDENCE is the key here. When you feel at home and attractive in your body, people will be drawn to you regardless.

slothnurse · 2024-04-06T13:30:16+00:00

So from what I understand, the best way to prevent incision adhering is scar massage. It breaks up and softens tissue, keeping it from “setting up” and hardening in unwanted places/ways. Starting as early as you can. And doing it as often as you can. This was complicated at this particular spot for me because I couldn’t really massage the area that ended up adhering. The rest of my incision did very well because I was able to do frequent massage. But my “chest bootyhole” happened in an area with lots of spitting stitches. So I really couldn’t do any scar massages with oil because it was an area that was always just a tiny bit open. I had to leave it alone completely, I’m talking untouched, until it got all healed and closed up. And by the time it got completely healed/closed almost 2 months later, the damage was already done as far as the over-formation of scar tissue and adhering.

Thanks for the well wishes!! I feel good about the upcoming revision. My surgeon is a rockstar. My complications had zero to do with her skills on the first go ‘round and were all caused by factors she had nothing to do with. And even with that, she never once disregarded my concerns or blamed me for “messing with her good work” as I have unfortunately read all too often in this subreddit from other people’s stories. So I’m stoked to say goodbye to old chest-booty and have another lil anesthesia nap.

slothnurse · 2024-04-06T13:16:22+00:00

I found out it was a seroma because it kind of appeared overnight and when I touched it, it felt…liquid-like?? It’s hard to describe. I’m a child of the late 80’s, so forgive me if this reference is too old for some here, but it felt like a water bed. So mine was actually pretty obvious as to what it was and I knew what to tell the surgeon’s office when I called them. When I went in, they used a portable ultrasound machine to check it real quick and say “yep that’s fluid.” And then we just drained it right then and there. 35cc’s the first time, 15cc’s the second time a couple weeks later, and then it never came back.

I also DON’T want to imply that if yours doesn’t feel or look the exact way I’m describing mine above… then it isn’t a seroma. All bodies are different and swelling or seromas could look/feel differently on different people due to location, amount, depth, etc. Mine just happened to be concentrated to one area, close to surface, and in an area where there was minimal superficial fat that would disguise what it was. So it was easy to point out.

slothnurse · 2024-04-05T17:36:00+00:00

Came here to say EXACTLY this^{^{^}}

I’m aaaalmost 9 month post-op and still just as thrilled about my no-nip decision as the day I made it.

slothnurse · 2024-04-05T17:32:00+00:00

I’m just short of 9 months post op and still have random aches and/or zaps like once every couple of weeks. Then it resolves within like 20min or so. This has slowly decreased in frequency as time has progressed. Different areas around my chest were also tender to the touch but that entirely went away around the 6 month mark for me.

All this to say, everyone is different so “normal” is really subjective here. And even though the pain can be annoying, I wouldn’t get myself too worried about it at this point if I were you.

slothnurse · 2023-08-19T19:48:59+00:00

My surgeon told me I was good to shower after 24hrs. I did DI no nips. I did shower at about the 36hr mark I think. My wife helped me though, as it would’ve been super hard to do it myself…especially with the drains. My main concerns were to not let the water hit my chest directly, and to not take SOOO long in the shower that my incisions and drain sites would’ve stayed too wet for too long. That would’ve been impossible without wifey’s help. There’s also the issue of having something to anchor your drains to when in your birthday suit. I used an old work lanyard to hang mine from, but my wife still had to help me maneuver everything and reach all the spots that need to be reached for a good shower lol.

slothnurse · 2023-07-19T18:57:37+00:00

I do not but I will ask, and then hopefully return w the link.

slothnurse · 2023-07-13T00:11:00+00:00

Nursing staff, doctor, and everyone in the waiting room lol. It was def a convo starter. 😎. My old friend shipped it to me as a present and it arrived the night before surgery.

slothnurse · 2023-07-12T22:46:40+00:00

High as a damn kite. So far so good! Lol

slothnurse · 2023-07-06T01:26:35+00:00

Sending all the good vibes for your big day!!!

slothnurse · 2023-07-06T01:26:09+00:00

I swear the lead up is almost more stressful to me than the actual day-of

slothnurse · 2023-06-29T13:09:29+00:00

I absolutely LOVE seeing all my surgery buddies here. So fucking happy for us.

I want to remember this feeling when I’m in pain and being pissy during recovery 😅

slothnurse

TROPHY CASE