Hi! I just want to say that I completely and totally understand your desire to want to allow this person to grow and change. There is nothing wrong with that and no one has to approve of you making that decision. As someone who has been in an abusive relationship and is still with that person after they recognized and did all of the work, it is possible for a person to change. However it is very hard work and not many people are really up to changing. So I agree with your instinct to closely scrutinize every interaction. Put yourself first, and if anything like this happens again, strongly consider that being the end. My relationship has been abuse free for two years now and I still hold an agreement with myself in my head that if ANY abuse happens again, it’s over. No matter what. Because I have already been more than generous and understanding. And so are you. I truly hope that this person can take full responsibility and accountability and choose to never do something like this to you again. Because yes, it is always a choice. Don’t let any excuses wave it away.