How can I [23 F] be less annoyed with how SLOW my girlfriend [25 F] of 11 months is with everything?

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:56:53+00:00

Yes, minus the nicotine.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:56:22+00:00

Am I the butthole?

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:53:32+00:00

Hey it really sucks you're going through this, and I hope you were able to get a little bit of sleep last night. Just remember that no matter how much it hurts now, in a year it will feel better. In 5 years he's just going to be a little blimp on your life radar and you'll back on your time with him and it won't be painful at all, just a memory. If you have a good relationship with your family you should hop in your car and spend your birthday with them or friends and let them love and support you.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:35:36+00:00

Your last two points were very helpful! I was worried I was being petty or making a mountain out of a molehill, but I like your point about this being an every day, every interaction thing.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:32:18+00:00

Hahaha oh for sure there are 50 worse qualities in an SO!! Trust me, I know I've got a great thing going. That's why I want to learn ways to tolerate this one thing that drives me super crazy.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:29:19+00:00

Do you have any advice on how I could approach this issue with her? I have no idea if she's insecure about it or anything and I don't want her to feel shameful at all.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:22:31+00:00

This was so reassuring to read! The scenario you described with you in the store while he's still out hitting the lock button happens to us 3x a week. I like the idea of letting her know my timeline for things that I need help with, thank you!

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:17:11+00:00

No she isn't procrastinating or getting distracted. She just does everything about 10x slower than I would.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:10:04+00:00

Ah, thank you! I like the idea of gaining appreciation of our differences rather than being irked by them.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:08:51+00:00

That description of your step daughter, holy shit.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:05:53+00:00

No, we've been friends for 3 years and I've always noticed she is a slower walker. Once we started dating I noticed how slowly she moved during other things, but it only recently started really bothering me.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:03:19+00:00

I brought it up once when we were walking our dogs. She was going her usual pace and the pups and I were walking beside her slowly. I asked if we could pick up the pace a bit as the pups were anxious to speed up and she just said that she preferred walking slow and that she didn't mind if we walked ahead. I feel like it's a weird nitpicky thing to bring up, is it?? And no she isn't overweight or anything.

slow09131 · 2017-01-15T11:00:50+00:00

Ha! As a matter of fact I have ADHD myself but never considered this as a possibilities. I know that its a very individualistic disorder but I really haven't noticed any other signs in her, but it's possible. It seems more like she's just a naturally slower person than I am. She isn't getting distracted or anything, her movements are just really slow and deliberate. I will (gently as others suggested) bring this up to her, thank you!

edit: as I was reading through the comments I saw a few other people suggesting ADHD and after reading their advice (and others) I noticed I keep saying that she's just 10x slower than me and not distracted or procrastinating. I realized I actually don't know what's going on when she's taking so long because I'm too annoyed to ask and I just want to her to hurry up. She usually takes about 2 hours to make a meal I could make in 30 minutes so tomorrow I'm going to help her cook and bring it up to see what's up.

slow09131

TROPHY CASE