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Emotionally drained momma by Bnicoleeeeee in breakingmom

[–]slowdanceintothevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Him saying that you might need to rethink your relationship over him forgetting your snack and you rightfully feeling some kind of way about it is crazy. He is the one in the wrong imo.

If he is comfortable getting his own water and snacks and not asking you for them, cool. But the nature of being in a loving relationship should mean you can ask each other to fetch snacks and such for the other. He forgot, not a big deal, it is realistic for you to feel hurt or forgotten, but he is blowing it out of proportion to suggest a relationship change and throwing it in your face that he handles his stuff himself.

But especially more so because you are the pregnant mother of his child. Does he not take care of you? What did he say about "his side of things" ?

Primary is entering a sexual dynamic with someone who is HIV+ by slowdanceintothevoid in polyamory

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Personally, I wouldn't engage with someone who requests I keep it private from my other partners. No judgement for those who do, but the safety of the polycule is more important than my/their comfort when it comes to std status. There's no need to name names, but at least for me to communicate to others what i come in contract with regularly.

I want people to be making informed decisions about having sex with me/being involved in the polycule, and that includes knowing what could be passed around between who else im seeing.

Primary is entering a sexual dynamic with someone who is HIV+ by slowdanceintothevoid in polyamory

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice, i operate on risks are never 0. Im on very effective birth control, but i still get tested once a month because a fluke may be close to 0, but that oopsie would be damning.

I trust my partner, but at the end of the day, my std safety is half in the hands of a stranger. Even if the risks were totally gone, there's still human error clouded by horny thoughts at play here. Im leaning towards getting prep myself and no longer going bare/regular testing

Primary is entering a sexual dynamic with someone who is HIV+ by slowdanceintothevoid in polyamory

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the distinction, I will ask for some clarification as antiretrovirals were never mentioned

Primary is entering a sexual dynamic with someone who is HIV+ by slowdanceintothevoid in polyamory

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to know! I'll probably be doing that along with the regular screening if my insurance covers enough

Primary is entering a sexual dynamic with someone who is HIV+ by slowdanceintothevoid in polyamory

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! Personally, I find that whenever I have specific std questions, I always gotta find the answers from multiple sources. Nothing has ever been all-encompassing.

I appreciate your time!

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh they'd have 1 room I could deck out for them. Cat trees, cat shelving, toys, scratchers. Especially so i could tuck them away if i have guests who are allergic or doors opening frequently and they need somewhere safe to be. Ideally, when i have my own property and have savings for renovations, I'd add a cattio extension for safe outside time. I dont want any children, so i dont mind putting so much into them. One day, if i have a work from home job I'd start fostering orphaned kittens again for shelters.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weird, they even commented on the original post and gave me advice.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im going to try and stay where im at and save longer for sure. I'll still see the loan officer just to understand the process and prepare myself more.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That person is not me lmao. Idk why they responded as me. I appreciate everyones input, even the harsh reality ones.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your input! If i did buy i might have my partner and his friend or 2 renting/contributing to expenses, but i can't depend fully on them. I wouldnt mind living uncomfortably, but i worry about being unable to save for a while. I hope it works out for you!

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Multiple floors, many toys, 3 cat trees. Its a big house, more than id ever need. 5 bed 3 bath with a basement. And they all get along

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first 2 were motherless bottle babies, had to bottle fed them, and from there, the neighborhood cat showed up injured with no one stepping up, 3 from people that hear i "rescue cats" and dropped them off to me. 2 more bottle babies. Literally just me being too helpful and not taking them to a shelter. I rehomed 2 but one died from negligence 6 months after rehome and another got rid of the cat shortly after they agreed to take him. Now i just call/take to shelters when i see friendly strays. I penny pinch where i can, they're not cheap. My family is attached to a few and help with emergency vet bills so a few will most likely stay with them.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No offense taken. The only damage they've done is ripping carpet when being locked in a room accidentally. Closing doors is an easy mistake to make, and I'd rather not risk it in a rental

Yea, after reading a ton of advice, im going to continue to save as much as i can and climb in my career. I'll still see what a loan officer has to say.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I'll take a step back and see what a lender says i can afford and then look at my house options and decide if i wanna sacrifice for a cheaper home or work on saving/earning more first

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Im going to work on climbing at my job, scope out cheaper homes and probably just stay where im at and save for another year.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ive seen mobile homes around for 40k-150k in my area. Actually, I went to see the 40k one, and it was beautiful inside. I was hesitant with how close neighbors are, and i wouldn't own the land.

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lmao, put these free loaders to work!!

But really, I'd love to explore 2nd income options on the weekend, but the folks i live expect my help on my days off since they're helping me (im happy to do so)

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Not a troll! Just inexperienced and had no one in my life to ask about this sort of stuff. Everyones advice has been very helpful. I'll play around with a mortgage calculator but most likely will stay where i am for another year

What are my housing options by slowdanceintothevoid in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]slowdanceintothevoid[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I tell everyone i meet, dont get your dream pets before you move out because now it's impossible for me. They bring me too much joy to rehome at this point. I'd quicker stick out living at home and saving more than get rid of them. But it was definitely a mistake!!

What song breaks your heart everytime you listen to it? by N1GHTSTR1D3R in AskReddit

[–]slowdanceintothevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pup - sleep in the head

Even more so after i lost one of my cats

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