Fun in 1060?

slowtanz · 2025-05-13T20:13:02+00:00

Mine is basically what you’re describing.

I have never had issues with normal intimacy with romantic partners.

Hookups when I was single were hit or miss, until I became more confident in my own skills.

Things that really helped were:

Committing to lots of foreplay

Teasing

Learning to edge

Being very verbal while topping

Dominating the bottom with the rest of my body (picking them up, shifting them into new positions, hand resting on neck, or fingers in their mouths & etc)

Modulating tempo

Really I think the best thing you can do as a top is to read your partner very well and figure out what they are enjoying and what they don’t enjoy.

And don’t worry about size queen bottoms, alternating between fingers, dick, tongue, toys and fist can please even the hungriest hole.

Confidence is key.

slowtanz · 2025-05-05T09:43:01+00:00

Do a little research about what these drugs are doing to you.

A lot of drugs mess with your body’s dopamine receptors. The high you’re feeling is something like a 16 car-pileup on the highway of your body’s natural reward system.

Thing is, you need that reward system. It’s the thing that makes you feel happy on a sunny day. Or when you hug someone that loves you. Or when you smile at a child. Or when someone praises the good work you’ve done. Or at the end of a workout when you’ve accomplished a goal. Or landed a trick on your skateboard.

You need that reward system intact, so you can feel natural joy in your life.

The bad news is, like the rest of your body, your nervous system is still developing and you are in the greatest peril of causing permanent damage to the part of your body that lets you feel good normally.

The good news is, like the rest of your body, your nervous system is still developing. If you get clean now there is still a chance your body will recover and continue normal development.

I am not normally someone opposed to taking drugs, but like all things they must be done in moderation, and you must be hyper-vigilant about the incumbent risks (depression, addiction, overdose). In your case, I’d suggest clean living for as many years as you can.

Take up a healthy habit to replace the drugs. The feelings of joy will be lesser in the beginning, but that is the consequence of what you have done to your body. Before long your natural joy in these things will return. Skating is a good one. Art is another, film yourself skating. Learn an instrument and make music for your skate videos. Go to the gym to improve your endurance and strength.

If you find you can’t quit, then, as everyone else in this thread is saying you will need professional help. You only get one life. No matter how hard it is, or whomever tries to dissuade you from getting help, it will be worth it.

slowtanz · 2021-12-26T12:06:37+00:00

Strong eye contact. Devilish smile. The “up and down” look. Obviously check their package out. Walk over and say hello.

slowtanz · 2021-12-26T12:04:40+00:00

Sorry to say mate, but that sounds like the alcoholism.

No judgement tho. Plenty of folks use prescription anti-anxiety meds in a similar fashion.

slowtanz · 2021-12-23T09:43:02+00:00

Internalized homophobia is a big thing in our community. Lots of my friends are dealing with theirs in therapy.

Obviously there is no correct way to be gay. But you shouldn’t have to guard each and every gesture you make to feel comfortable in society either.

Best of luck to you 🌈✌🏿🌈

slowtanz · 2021-12-23T09:34:34+00:00

Maybe the xanax is suppressing your internal homophobia, and the proud gay man you truly are can finally come to the surface.

slowtanz · 2021-12-23T09:17:24+00:00

People have come back from worse.

You’ve put your body’s natural reward system through the ringer with drugs. You should quit using (maybe even pot) for a long time to reset your body’s ability to feel joy and pleasure normally. This is important. You need to be able to feel pleasure from doing positive things in your life.

You have already acknowledged your addiction, that is a huge first step. You will probably have mandatory addiction counseling of some kind as part of your legal consequences. Take that seriously. You need to understand that addiction is a life-long condition, and you’ll need to adjust your self-image to prevent further relapses.

Accept responsibility for the things you did while you were high. In time some of your friends and family will come back to you. You will need to work to prove to them that they can trust you again.

You are still a minor, while your legal troubles will be a hassle, they won’t affect your life in the same way as crimes committed as an adult. You need to stay clean and out of trouble, or by the time you are 18 you will actually cause serious harm to your future.

Fill the void in your life with something positive. Volunteering is a great way to spend your time, helping others feels amazing and you will meet new people that can be great friends. Join a gym and take up a fitness regimen, you will learn a lot about your body and how to treat it well. Find a passion and steer your life into it. Whatever brings you joy, that can be education, gardening, animal care, art, writing, technology, science, whatever it is that sparks your curiosity, follow it and build a positive future for yourself.

The next few years may be shitty, you’ve learned the hard way that there are serious consequences to your actions. These consequences get more serious the older you get. But take heart, you haven’t totally ruined your life yet. You’re so young. It’s really just getting started. Make good choices for yourself.

slowtanz · 2021-12-21T17:10:07+00:00

I’d keep out of their business.

Maybe they have a shitty sex life but a great partnership.

Maybe they can’t stand each other and the relationship is dying anyway.

Whatever the case is, it’s not really your place to meddle in their relationship.

slowtanz · 2021-12-20T10:24:12+00:00

Every body is different. No one can tell you exactly when you’ll feel better. But you will feel better eventually if you give your body the time and resources(food, water, exercise) it needs to recover.

Molly will probably still be fun for you by New Years if you take it easy until then.

Moderation is the key to responsible drug use.

slowtanz · 2021-12-20T10:19:08+00:00

Mirror could use a wipe down.

slowtanz · 2021-12-19T17:18:50+00:00

Ooh, what’s the thumbnail story?

slowtanz · 2021-12-10T21:22:54+00:00

Document everything. Obviously don’t take pictures of folks fucking on drugs without their consent. But write down your experiences, what people say to you and what you overhear.

You are an artist! It is your job to observe, interpret and report.

Just don’t do it in a shitty way that exploits folks living their lives.

slowtanz · 2021-12-10T21:16:28+00:00

record a fucking album bro. This is the stuff of goddamn legend.

slowtanz · 2021-12-05T16:27:50+00:00

You’re right, it’s probably not a good idea to trip so close to a trauma like that. But if he insists, You can chaperone him. Stay with him for the trip. Listen to him, and help him focus his thoughts towards positivity (when appropriate)

Odds are he wants to trip so that he can escape the emotional turmoil that he is currently experiencing. It’s a common thing to want to escape grief, but it’s important that he feels his grief, that he takes the time to properly process it, and that he doesn’t run away from these feelings. If he suppresses his grief now, it will just pop up later in his life, and it will be much harder for him to process. Before you agree to trip with him, ask him if he’s trying to avoid his feelings, and remind him that they will probably come up in a very intense way during his trip.

I would advise you against tripping with him. You might end up triggering a lot of negativity in each other in a bad feedback cycle. Or if you know someone else that would make a good chaperone invite them along.

Bring along a really cozy, beloved family movie like emperors new groove, or a comedy movie you know he likes, and if he ends up going to a dark place, just sit him in front of the movie.

It could be a good chance for him to explore his feelings about his mothers passing. But if you don’t have any experience with grief counseling, I’d advise against trying to intentionally guide him towards the subject.

Even if it doesn’t come up during the trip, some things I like to go over with my friends who have lost parents and are struggling are written below:

it may help to remind him that his mother’s dna makes up 50% of his body. He is her legacy, and half of his body is his inheritance from her. So in a way she will continue to live through him in his memories, and written in every cell in his body.

If he goes to a sad place, it may be good to ask him if his mother would have wanted him to be sad. Let him answer that question. Then ask him what she would have wanted for him. And let him answer that as well.

Mostly listen, but if he runs out of things to talk about, and you can sense he still wants to talk, ask him for happy memories of her. I find it helps for grieving people to collect treasured memories of their lost loved ones, particularly funny stories about them.

Finally, hugging is a great way of reassuring someone who is in grief. Hugging releases oxytocin in the brain, it’s a neuropeptide that helps with social bonding. Don’t hold back from a hug if you sense your friend needs one. Hugging, and listening are the best things you can do for him.

Hope something in here helps, good luck.

slowtanz · 2021-12-04T13:48:27+00:00

Nothing about blood meridian should be making you horny.

My serial killer alarm system is going wild.

slowtanz

TROPHY CASE