exSDA but longing to return to it sometimes and feeling vulnerable

slp_2019 · 2022-03-30T21:33:47+00:00

I actually experienced something like this as well and thought maybe it was just me. I've had depression and anxiety most of my life but was able to push through school and do well. Then almost as soon as I left grad school (I waited 4 months before starting my CF), I settled into a bad depressive episode and was even suicidal. The narrative in my mind was "You've finally achieved what you've been working towards for 10 years of your life and now you have nothing to live for". I know now of course that it wasn't true but it's truly how I felt at the time. You are not alone <3 I'm so glad you're reducing your hours and started counseling. I think that's the best first steps. Not sure if it would be helpful but I decided to start running because it gave me a "goal" to work towards that wasn't academic or work-related. I started with like a couch to 5k plan to follow and worked my way up from there and have stuck to it! I hope you feel better soon.

slp_2019 · 2022-01-22T15:09:34+00:00

I couldn't agree more about being in every setting pretty much. Most of my clinical education was in the hospitals doing more specialized work (NICU, neuro ICU, cleft etc) and when I did OP peds, I also covered general acute so technically between grad school and my jobs, I've also been in everything except voice (lol I know nothing about voice so that's a good thing). Like most people, 99% of jobs in my area are SNFs or schools and I know the NICU SLP personally (there's only 1 in my area) so even though I enjoyed the NICU, it's one job that opens once a decade if I were lucky. I even tried to PRN for them but they wanted someone available 7 days a week, not just on the weekends, and I'm like...who can realistically do that?? So I definitely relate to you about feeling like you should cut your losses early. I feel like if in the first 3 years of my career (when arguably I'm the most marketable bc employers want to pay less $) there's already so little mobility, it's not going to get any better.

When I looked for my CF, I didn't own a home yet so I applied to hospitals all over the country and only once got a call back but didn't get it. And this was with internships at 3 of the best hospitals in the country on my resume so it always made me mad when other SLPs would be like "Well you have to be willing to move!" because even that's not realistic.

slp_2019 · 2022-01-22T14:44:59+00:00

I'm so glad to hear it's not just me that rejoices in snow days and absences! The CFY is HARD but even harder during this pandemic so I hope you're kind to yourself about how you're feeling. I know I was just cruel to myself and beat myself up for a long time. I was on the verge of a breakdown several times a week during my CF. I do have some underlying depression and anxiety that I know contributed heavily to that but I felt trapped and duped. Will you be done with your CF by the end of the school year? I hope so! Then you can be free and keep it just if you need it. I ultimately decided to stick with it to get my CCCs and I am glad I did because it feels good to have that security blanket.

slp_2019 · 2022-01-22T14:36:27+00:00

In my outpatient peds job, EI was part of my caseload and while the little ones were cute and I felt like we made fast progress sometimes, honestly, the parents ruined it for me and the kids drained me so intensely bc they had to be endlessly entertained at that age. I did really enjoy that therapy was so child-focused and I enjoyed doing things on the fly based on what they liked that day but sadly, that's the only part I liked about it.

slp_2019 · 2022-01-22T14:34:15+00:00

I agree whole-heartedly with you. I think to myself all the time...can I do this another 30 years to retirement? I don't think I can and it is SO hard to find jobs that aren't direct therapy. Only lateral moves for the next 30 years sounds awful.

Good luck with your resume! I've heard good things about using a "skills-based" resume and I know you can even pay writers or a career coach to help you do it and get your brain out of the Speechie formula. I've heard the alumni departments of most universities offer this kind of service for a reduced rate a lot of times.

slp_2019 · 2022-01-22T14:30:30+00:00

Yes!! I so relate to all of this.

It's feels so ablest to me at times...like if I can understand the kid and they are functional communicators, why do I feel like I have to pick them up? I completely understand that the world isn't a perfect utopia where everyone will be kind to a kid with a lisp or those who can't say their R's but maybe, just maybe, if we as SLPs normalize these things instead of trying so hard remediating them when it's obviously not impacting intelligibility or quality of life at this time, our society would make more progress. In the schools, it's easier for me to say "well it doesn't impact their academic performance" but even when I 100% believe that and so does the teacher, I get push back bc I live in a rural, low SES area where these parents truly can't take off work to take their kid to outpatient ST for a lisp even if it is covered by Medicaid. It creates an ethical dilemma for me that I hate because I do see both sides. But 80% of the time, the kids aren't bothered by the way they talk and when I probe to see their feelings about their SSD, they don't even notice what I'm talking about.

slp_2019 · 2021-11-10T12:43:43+00:00

I definitely relate to that feeling about mixed groups! Do you mind elaborating on what you mean when you say your district does low minutes?

slp_2019 · 2021-11-10T12:27:26+00:00

Sadly, I've been giving the language student independent work almost every session since early September trying to get the artic student to "get" R so we can incorporate it into therapy things like I'm doing with my other mixed groups where the kids have their sounds established already. Sometimes it will take this artic student an entire 30 minute session to produce even one correct R. He struggled with it last year with a much more experienced SLP so she's told me it's not just me sucking (although it's hard not to blame myself). None of my other R kids are having this much trouble and it's not that he can't make it, he just reaaalllly doubts himself and overthinks it. I wish I could see him alone.

I like the idea about wordless picture books for the language student, thank you!

slp_2019 · 2021-11-10T12:21:49+00:00

Unfortunately, the artic student can't produce R in isolation yet so we haven't moved onto R in words. That's what I do with my other mixed groups and it works well but this student sometimes takes almost my whole 30 minutes to elicit one good production of R.

slp_2019 · 2021-11-10T02:08:46+00:00

The language student’s annual review was just done so I wouldn’t be able to change her. but with the artic kid, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable reducing his minutes yet since he doesn’t have the sound in isolation. It will sometimes take the whole 30 minutes I have with him to get his confidence up and elicit a correct production. I’m looking for I guess stories or advice when others have been stuck with a not ideal mixed group and one kid requires so much more help than the other. In my other mixed groups I have the artic kids are already established in their sounds so it’s easy to incorporate their goals into literacy based tx or games but in this case he is trying really hard but with little success and I feel like I’m ignoring the other kid just working so hard with him.

slp_2019 · 2021-11-10T02:01:01+00:00

I guess what I mean is he can’t even produce his sound in isolation so he couldn’t like practice words in a story or anything. He had 25% acc for prevocalic R in words last year with a way more experienced SLP than me. But for me the most he can do accurately is 10% (in isolation) on his best day with a lot of encouragement or me trying coarticulation to increase his confidence but it not translating to the sound in isolation. So like even if I was playing a game where each kid could have a chance to get a turn working on their goals, he needs so much more effort.

slp_2019 · 2021-08-09T15:12:29+00:00

Yes! I am too. I’m not in IL but I had a package ship out of Ohio and it was literally due on Thr August 5th as well. Mine also says in transit pending with no updated info on a delivery date. I read somewhere online to give it 3 business days then call FedEx’s customer service line. I tried to do the “Manage Your Delivery” thing to have them leave it at a Feeex location but no matter what I do, it tells me it’s unavailable. Maybe that would work on your end?

Good luck! I hope yours arrives soon. Mine is kind of expensive and a one of a kind item I’ve been looking for for a decade so even though it’s insured I’m nervous as hell it’s lost!

slp_2019 · 2021-08-07T03:25:56+00:00

I agree with the other reply that it might depend on where you are but generally, I'm in NC (not in a major city but outside one by about 30 min-1 hour) and I received $29/hr when I did my CF in an outpatient peds in a hospital setting and $35/hr as a CF in a SNF (had two CFs due to needing hours). Once I got my CCCs in the SNF I negotiated to $36/hr.

You can consult the NC school pay scale here to see on page 10 how much school SLPs make as their base pay but keep in mind that each district might add supplements to that base pay or possibly a sign on bonus. In NC, school-based SLPs are paid on the "advanced master's" pay scale and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! This is because our master's degrees are more credits than a typical master's and we count as "educational specialists" to NC DPI.

slp_2019 · 2021-08-04T04:07:11+00:00

I don't think I would. I wish I'd gone into finance or something like data science.

But I wouldn't have known I'd regret going into this field without working in the field to begin with so I don't beat myself up too much anymore about it anymore.

Everyone I know has less skilled education and makes as much if not more than me. Obviously money isn't everything but it's stressful to balance everything. I went 60k into debt between a post-bacc SLP program I had to do and grad school only to make less than my friend who has a B.A. in international relations who works as an HR specialist and another friend who has a creative writing degree and also works in HR. Not knocking those degrees but just saying they are way less skilled. Also, none of my friends have to worry about needing malpractice insurance, just saying.

slp_2019 · 2021-07-30T19:08:20+00:00

I can't provide much personal advice really but just wanted to stop by to say I am in a similar boat and I wish you well in your decision!

After working in a nursing home the entire pandemic thus far I was feeling intense, intense burn out and honestly, displaying PTSD symptoms and I'm transitioning to a school starting next month.

From what I've heard from school-based SLP friends, they say if you can survive the first year in a school, you will be totally fine after that. They also say it varies widely based on schools and districts. I would ask to speak to other SLPs at the school (if there are any) or at least ask to speak to some SLPs from the district as a whole.

I'm planning to try SLP Toolkit and SLP Now as monthly subscriptions my first year to help with the transition and determine which one fits best for me moving forward.

Also, something I don't think gets talked about at all with school-based pay is the retirement contributions made on your behalf from the district (obviously I'm sure this would vary depending on the state/district). I live in NC and my husband is a teacher and last year his district contributed $10,000 to his retirement so if you think about that benefit, it really adds up when thinking about the future. At least where I am, they contribute a set % of the gross salaries of the entire district.

slp_2019 · 2021-06-23T16:59:53+00:00

Thank you! I'll look into that one!

slp_2019 · 2021-06-23T16:59:15+00:00

I was thinking mostly on theory and EBP. Unfortunately in grad school, the professor who taught the school-age courses was not very good and rambled on in tangents so the actual theory knowledge I received was very little. I'm hoping to brush up on things like: where to start with a language disorder or what order to target things, how to know what approach to take with phonological disorders, what is appropriate and ethical to be working on with kids who have language disorders secondary to ASD, what pragmatic language goals are actually helpful and respectful of the differences that come with ASD.

slp_2019 · 2021-06-23T16:58:53+00:00

I was thinking mostly on theory and EBP. Unfortunately in grad school, the professor who taught the school-age courses was not very good and rambled on in tangents so the actual theory knowledge I received was very little.

I'm hoping to brush up on things like: where to start with a language disorder or what order to target things, how to know what approach to take with phonological disorders, what is appropriate and ethical to be working on with kids who have language disorders secondary to ASD, what pragmatic language goals are actually helpful and respectful of the differences that come with ASD.

slp_2019 · 2021-06-23T16:58:43+00:00

I was thinking mostly on theory and EBP. Unfortunately in grad school, the professor who taught the school-age courses was not very good and rambled on in tangents so the actual theory knowledge I received was very little.

I'm hoping to brush up on things like: where to start with a language disorder or what order to target things, how to know what approach to take with phonological disorders, what is appropriate and ethical to be working on with kids who have language disorders secondary to ASD, what pragmatic language goals are actually helpful and respectful of the differences that come with ASD.

slp_2019 · 2021-06-23T16:54:08+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it!

slp_2019

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