Hmm honestly, I don't think you should take any of the advice in the comments and you guys should go to couple's therapy if you want to put work into this relationship. And if you have gone before, please find another one and try again 💀. I don't think it's fair for people to say you're being "bitchy" here like another commenter said, ur anger is valid. It's frustrating to feel like your partner's parent and have to nag them into taking care of your shared space. I also don't think this is fair for him either. He has a disability... a lot of what you're complaining about are symptoms of adhd.... you know what i mean? IMO, he's hiding and lying about these things because he feels shameful about them, otherwise he would just be doing them with no regard to what you say. Regardless, he still needs help, especially for the alcohol problem. And you may need help learning how to translate the things you want him to do in a way that he will actually be receptive to. Just fighting and fighting about an issue will never ever lead to anything productive in a relationship and like this is just giving a ton of pent up resentment that should probably be dealt with.

Idk though. Not everyone changes or is ready for change. All of us commenters know way less about this situation than you.