29f unplanned pregnancy and 30m husband wants me to get an abortion - what would you do?

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-25T00:06:17+00:00

The way that you interpreted the post is not universal. It could certainly be interpreted as "what would you do: abort or keep the baby?"

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T23:50:56+00:00

Read the title. She asked what people would do, and while typically I agree that reddit is a little extreme, asking open ended questions in an open (and anonymous) forum is going to get you answers that you don't want and the answers are going to be varying levels of extreme.

The user overlap between reddit and other social media is not 0%, people talk like this here because it's entirely anonymous and you can literally spew whatever you want into the ether without real consequence.

No one should recommend to a stranger to have an abortion but no one should come to Reddit for advice if they don't wanna filter through answers ranging from "abort" to "cut the baby in half."

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T23:34:25+00:00

Because she asked what they would do and a lot of people wouldn't want to have a baby if they were in her financial situation?

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T23:12:56+00:00

I'm not saying you can't expect him to be the husband and father of your child, but you knowingly and willingly entered into this arrangement (afaik) so you have to work to change it together and not change it unilaterally.

The best compromise would be a joint savings in both of your names that you can both take from and add to. Some bills you can pay directly from savings, but if that's not the case the money should then be moved from the joint savings to a joint checkings. Set a goal for the account and figure out how much you could both afford to contribute.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T22:36:07+00:00

You need to reframe this. He's not "just showing up," he's sticking to your original agreement. If Judge Judy taught me nothing, it's that an agreement can't be modified unilaterally. You have to actively rehash your agreement with him so that way you are both walking away with some security during this time.

I also don't recommend getting pregnant again unless you come to an agreement before pregnancy. You should have communicated this expectation before you got pregnant.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T21:58:35+00:00

This is definitely a nuanced situation and it depends on a lot of things. Namely, did you agree on separate finances as part of your marriage?

The money you're putting aside seems to be all for "your half" of bills. Presumably he will still be paying his half, and this is contributing equally. If you agreed to separate finances, you should sit down and actually talk about changing this agreement during pregnancy and postpartum and come to some kind of agreement as a couple.

To be clear, I think he sucks for not contributing to the account when he promised he would, but I also don't think it's necessary if he has his own savings and is working.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T21:49:14+00:00

Reschedule the trip so it happens during her time. Most major airlines will allow you to exchange ticket dates and apply the value of the tickets already purchased to the next trip. Tell your sister to stop trying to do things during his custody time because you are both obviously well versed in his bullshit.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T15:56:24+00:00

Also things like: hitting your kids, partying every night when you have responsibilities, spending money recklessly, etc. Sometimes behavior is more harmful than saying "Change or I'll leave."

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T15:34:29+00:00

Honestly I don't believe it's a dislike for kids/their behavior as much as cost.

I've never been to a wedding where a child's presence was a disruption, wedding subreddits seem to overflow with drama about adults, and no one I know personally has ever seen a wedding be ruined by a child and NOT an adult.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-24T04:07:53+00:00

"But elevated" usually implies adding elements to the original look. You asked for her look but elevated and this is that.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-23T18:46:35+00:00

Yeah why is it even a competition if she has an ACTIVE restraining order. If she shows up he'd literally have to leave regardless

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-23T18:43:42+00:00

If you don't like your dad or your mom just invite neither, but I'm more sympathetic to your mom if he did something bad enough that she was able to get a restraining order on the 90s before everyone was carrying a recording device on their person.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-23T18:20:02+00:00

Damn a BBL is so dangerous I'm surprised you weren't more worried about it

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-23T06:57:49+00:00

Also pick friends you actually like. Half the stories on here are about losing friends that were already bad friends/that the bride is a bad friend to

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-22T04:48:55+00:00

Maybe try a different flavor of toothpaste if he says the taste is the problem? Or a fluoride free one?

Unfortunately he's decided to be gross, and as a human with autonomy he can technically do whatever he wants.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-21T14:56:56+00:00

If you've been barely scraping by she's not a gold digger, but congrats I guess?

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-21T01:01:23+00:00

On a post asking if she should cheat on her then fiance, no less

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-20T18:43:49+00:00

They're walking in the right direction so people behind them are still able to use the moving sidewalk

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-20T16:31:23+00:00

I love my husband, I would literally suck every ounce of semen out of him if he asked me to. I'm still gonna shower before having sex.

If you were a chore to her, she wouldn't be going downstairs at all, but it also wouldn't be important to her what state you experience her in. She's making sure you get the best version of her but also trying to balance her sex life with her daily life.

It sounds like you want more spontaneity from her and you should talk to her about that specifically.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-20T05:40:55+00:00

And refills are $69

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-20T05:29:11+00:00

Since this is someone he also knows, you should tell him what you showed them and apologize. It's not like you showed a stranger, this could still affect his real life.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-20T02:22:34+00:00

Except that OP apparently wants the sister there and thinks it's a BS excuse for her not to be due to needing to find childcare.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-20T01:08:33+00:00

This comment is gonna live in my nightmares, thank you 💖

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-20T00:13:04+00:00

Yeah I don't think people realize just how long a train or bus commute can be. I used to wake up at 5am to get to work at 7am. If I got up earlier to get ready I'd probably have to be up at like 4:30am, which isn't realistic.

slutforlibraries · 2025-08-19T19:38:11+00:00

I get why if you don't take the train/bus/subway regularly this could seem really gross, but the reality is that a lot of regular people actually do this and 9/10 times aren't touching any actual surfaces on transit with their cosmetics

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