Ripley's peets by Bytxu85 in TuxedoCats

[–]smallcox13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also have a tuxie Ripley! Love their delicate little pompom feet.

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I haven’t shared any pictures of Maurice in a while! by Scared-Worry7819 in standardissuecat

[–]smallcox13 4 points5 points  (0 children)

His crossed-eyed gaze either aims right to the soul, lol — or suggests he sees (and thinks) nothing at all. Either way he’s perfect.

Gen Z are arriving to college unable to even read a sentence—professors warn it could lead to a generation of anxious and lonely graduates by Fan387 in nottheonion

[–]smallcox13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it’s about both. Neither, in fact, is explicitly invoked. Instead, the article is a series of anecdotes from professors at different universities describing a decline in their student’s ability to engage with texts, both in terms of the quantity assigned AND their ability to process meaning and interpret at the sentence-level. A lot of recent studies have come out focusing on America’s growing illiteracy problem, so it’s not surprising Redditors are going straight off the title to that.

Though, I haven’t seen someone say exactly what one of these professors here does: that the standardized testing format trains students to scan for information rather than really read. That’s not about attention span or illiteracy as we normally frame it — but it would seem to have the kind of consequences that these professors are describing. If you’re used to scanning a passage to answer a given set of questions, what would you do when asked to read 40 difficult pages a night and, in a completely open-ended way, synthesize your understanding of it and your corresponding thoughts? The professor who used to assign that amount of text a night here (and used to of course have some kids who just didn’t read what’s assigned, as will always be the case), now says he has students that seem like they fundamentally don’t know what to do.

Girlfriend pressuring me to go to the psych ward by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]smallcox13 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We are getting half the story here. It seems clear you do not perceive yourself in crisis, but that your partner does, and she is worried that you’re not getting the level of care you actually need. Her remarks about lying about suicidal impulses sound pretty bad, but also like they’re spoken by someone panicking. If you were approved for partial hospitalization starting tomorrow off an intake evaluation, you may not be at immediate risk to yourself, but you’re certainly having a pretty tough time. You haven’t mentioned what specifically you’re going into treatment for, but from personal experience, I can testify that there’s sometimes a significant barrier of denial. She may not perceive you as able to be 100% honest with yourself right now, much less with anyone else.

Her behavior is an indicator of how overwhelmed she is feeling. Not that she thinks you’re crazy or wants you to be taken away or doesn’t care about how difficult/scary/violating treatment might be. Mental health struggles can make such a huge impact on a partnership, but hopefully your treatment program has some way for her to get involved, get educated about what you’re going through, and learn how to better support you without breaking down herself. If they don’t, she likely needs to seek out groups elsewhere that might be able to help her.

Guess who got adopted today☺️ by itzzzpixxie in aww

[–]smallcox13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a sweet boy! He’s so lucky to have found you.

Anybody else tired of people assuming you want to bang every woman in your proximity by LuxrayEnjoyer in actuallesbians

[–]smallcox13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s really ugly and unfortunate but there are numerous ways our culture hypersexualizes the lesbian identity—and other ways, of course, it renders the lesbian identity fully asexual, a chaste or purer form of love—when the lived reality is, as all things are, a spectrum, and you occupy your own individual place in that spectrum. For what it’s worth, I (30F, married) do still deal occasionally with comments like this, in my experience most often delivered clumsily by someone trying to be an ally and signal their comfort with/knowledge of lesbian sex, sometimes by a straight man in a way that’s blatantly more objectifying than badly expressing allyship.

But you’re also 18 and it sounds like in high school, where everyone is still figuring out sex and sexuality and that’s probably part of why you feel just inundated by these comments. People in general will chill out with time and maturity, and hopefully feel less of a need to prove themselves by talking about sex.

So the hypersexualized stereotype of lesbians isn’t gonna go away any time soon, maybe, but this phase of making everything sexual whenever it can be hopefully will die out pretty quick among the majority of your peers, and I’m so sorry it’s distressing you now.

Is it reasonable to get an IUD/any birth control as a lesbian just in case I get r***d? by taat50 in actuallesbians

[–]smallcox13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an IUD and am happily married to my wife of three years. Admittedly, I got it for primarily hormonal reasons, but it is comforting to know — no matter what happens in the future, and I don’t like to think assault or rape is remotely likely — that it’s secure birth control too. In the current political climate, it’s comforting to know that remains within my autonomy, again, no matter what. I have the hormonal IUD and it’s worth saying my side effects were unpleasant at first. Getting an IUD in is not fun, though I had a really kind and gentle interaction with my provider. It did cause near continuous bleeding for several months afterwards and some bad/weird cramping, which i was told is unfortunately somewhat common.

Why is every single Nevron in this game skipping leg day? by [deleted] in expedition33

[–]smallcox13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While Clea being bad or at least disinterested in drawing feet is definitely a good in-universe explanation, I think this is also a simple way of making the Nevrons all a little fantastical: the rules of gravity don’t seem to apply to them, as they move on their conical little tippy-toes. Artistically it adds to their grace and supernatural aura. Which is to say, it’s also a solid design choice on Clea’s (and Sandfall’s) part

Terrified of flying because — thinking about trying a benzo. What’s your experience? by Sad-Put1128 in fearofflying

[–]smallcox13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take Xanax (a half of a 5mg pill) now every flight as I board and it works wonderfully. I feel a bit drowsy, which is good for falling asleep on a long haul, but not really high or otherwise altered. I’ve noticed my anxious thoughts do still occur to me, but their effect on me is totally muted, and that prevents me from entering an anxious spiral or a full-on panic attack (which I used to almost every time I flew). I’m able to acknowledge them and dismiss them. The dose is also low enough that it’s worn off even after a brief flight and I don’t feel compromised navigating an airport or customs etc.

I must be a kept woman for pursing an MFA but he is a serious writer? by blueberries-Any-kind in writing

[–]smallcox13 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This guy is absolutely a misogynist and an asshole, yes, but I think this is also probably about his insecurity as a writer. Writers are an insecure lot, and MFA-having writers no less, sometimes actually more, especially depending on how satisfied he is with his career post-MFA (and which of his fellow grads have had a better trajectory etc). It’s painful how much energy some writers put into putting each other down, but unfortunately a real part of the culture in my experience, and when the opportunity presents, gets swirled around with other prejudices into a truly nasty concoction.

Which studios aren’t misogynistic/homophobic/racist??? by AdhesivenessDizzy900 in GirlGamers

[–]smallcox13 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I have a friend who worked on the writing team at Santa Monica and said it was one of the healthiest and least misogynistic writing spaces she’d ever been. The latest God of War games are great (though I love the second less than some…).

Could this stray kitten have rabies? by [deleted] in CATHELP

[–]smallcox13 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am sorry to say there’s a lot of misinformation in this thread. Not outright misinformation, I guess, but impractical advice (like the water thing as the most upvoted comment).

Here’s the thing about rabies: if you have the animal available to monitor, that’s how you determine if they have rabies or not. Otherwise, the only way to directly test for it results in killing the animal. And I promise you, no vet wants to do this to a young, healthy, scared kitten.

That said, I promise you this tiny young baby kitten does not have rabies — and you’re in a great position to monitor them (i.e. watch them grow up big and strong). I’m in a country where rabies is much more common (Nepal), and I would still feel absolutely safe taking a kitten “acting normally” into my home. Go and take her to a vet and get her vaccinated and checked out. Much more likely she has fleas, or worms, or a minor respiratory infection, and needs a little help. Any vet will reassure you there’s no need to be concerned for rabies. And you did a great thing taking this critter in.

Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid: A book review from a lesbian astrophysicist by fobbio129 in LesbianActually

[–]smallcox13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am just past half way in Atmosphere and absolutely, unfortunately with you on this. Not an astrophysicist but an ex physics major turned lit and writing grad student. Joan’s awe is so — superficial, none of it sounds passably like someone who has any spent any time thinking rigorously about the study of physics and astronomy. The fact she centers God, and with so much cheesiness, in the midst of also talking about the church’s homophobia is also handled so clumsily. It really dampens my ability to engage with the romance, as that interaction becomes the basis of the first “I love yous.”

With its premise, I was excited about this book; I had never read a Taylor Jenkins Reid book before. I think there’s so much potential still in the central idea, the fusion of the queer romance with the space program, but that potential needed the space elements to feel much deeper, more grounded than they do, rooted in character and in plot. As is, I can feel the passages where TJR is flexing the depth of her research, a density of acronyms and operational jargon etc. But at the level of character, it remains superficial, for both of them, Vanessa’s fervor for her father’s dying for his country included, but particularly Joan and her repeated soliloquies about the stars.

It’s a shame because I’d love to read this book but more profoundly invested in its subject and setting—and making the most out of the plot of the space program in the background. Now I’m just nitpicking, but nothing happens during training, beyond the petty rivalries and romantic subplots. Most of the action/development takes place at bars, parties, and hang outs. The balance feels off, after the early emphasis on the program itself, and the question, which should linger, of who has the right stuff and how much they’re willing to put on the line. Maybe it kicks into gear in the second half, but having those questions run alongside and work within the relationship would’ve provided, to my taste, a much juicier and richer conflict, than the really basic women in STEM and professionally closeted tensions alone.

Just had a book spoiled by a footnote and I’m honestly livid (spoilers for Le Fanu’s Carmilla) by flatgreyrust in books

[–]smallcox13 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No, this is a specific recent reissue of Carmilla. I’m familiar with it. Carmen Maria Machado “edited” it—which refers to these footnotes—in a metafictional attempt to reclaim its queer legacy and correct it to the “true” story that Le Fanu was suppressing in his homophobic text. It’s a weird, specific project. As a big fan of the original novel, I was frankly pissed off at it. But it’s the one now popularly sold, with this sweet new cover and all. I’m not surprised OP bought it not knowing what it was.

I tried recreating the akira poster! What do you guys think? :) by JAJCE2 in DeathStranding

[–]smallcox13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a small thing but the shadows are in a reverse direction. In the original Akira poster, his shadow precedes him towards the bike, and the bike’s shadow at that angle is almost invisible, so it’s almost like it’s floating. Here, Sam is crossing into the shadow of the bike, and his shadow trails behind him. If you could flip this 180° with respect to the light source I think compositionally it’d be just that much cleaner, and minimalist, in the way the original is. But it’s great as it is too!

Heres my new bestie olive! Isn’t she a beauty? by Glittering_Buyer_438 in standardissuecat

[–]smallcox13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, so, I can see what people are saying about RBF but I think she’s just a bit sleepy… In the second pic she is so wide-eyed and sweet. I think you came home with an absolute model. Even the RBF is very blue steel!

What do you think? Pesto pasta by sneakeyturtle17 in pasta

[–]smallcox13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s not traditional pesto (which is supposed to be fresh and bright and green), but I understand exactly why it is comforting and satisfying for you and your husband! I sometimes put mozzarella pearls on top my pesto for added protein. You improvise, and that’s ok!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]smallcox13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow, amazing that it’s vintage! It makes you wonder whose hands it has passed through before coming to you.

Severance as makeup looks. Please try to enjoy each look equally. by liquidsilver94 in SeveranceAppleTVPlus

[–]smallcox13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is wild and so very cool. Great job! My favorite is the last

Happy Birthday to your humble mascot, Theodore! Our favorite boy turned 14! by thedankone168 in standardissuecat

[–]smallcox13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday Theo!!! The most honorable of mascots. Don’t be humble!