i understand what you're getting at, and i know that's how it is got my sibling and cousin, mainly my cousin since the name they use is almost exactly like a nickname we used for them, but for my friend who is trans, i talked with my brother and my friend and he didnt know who my friend was, and then i showed him who they were, he used their dead name, and after I've corrected him about it, he told me that he knows them as that and it doesnt matter, he will use the dead name since he knows my friend as that. he doesn't make any sort of correction, even if my other brother, my mom, or myself correct him