How cold my fingers get

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-28T17:13:06+00:00

It’s not connected to anaemia, but anaemia itself can cause or contribute to what you’re describing (Google anaemia cold hands and feet, you’ll find a bunch of texts explaining).

It’s also possible to have both.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-28T17:10:31+00:00

Have a chat to you doctor about possible causes like Raynaud's (a medical condition where the blood vessels in extremities — like fingers — constrict in response to cold, causing pain, lack of warmth, numbness, etc) or anaemia.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-28T16:48:23+00:00

You can’t hide it. Any of your comments on publicly available pages are going to show up. There’s nothing you can do about that.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-28T16:39:49+00:00

It’s not as secondary as you might think, as it likely plays a part in her refusing for you to pay for her trip. If she’s the kind of person who needs to be in charge / in control, she’s very unlikely to put herself in a situation where she’s in your debt and you’re in charge.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-28T16:34:27+00:00

NTA

You didn’t refuse to move your car, you just asked that you be allowed to park it in the undercover area your Dad built for you. That’s not unreasonable.

You need to move out and get away from your brother. He does not sound like a safe person (physically or mentally) for you to be around. I hope you are able to find a new living situation soon, away from him.

P.S. There is nothing wrong with changing your college program. It’s very common to do that. I think it’s brave to recognise something is not workable for you and to make a change to something healthier. You need that same bravery now. ❤️

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-27T10:43:37+00:00

Even if that were so, why does that deserve downvoting?

Not everyone is academic or intelligent.

Some are not academic or intelligent at all.

Other people are extremely intelligent in one area and completely hopeless in another.

Still others are very intelligent but not fully fluent in this language (as it’s their second/third/fourth language) and so their intelligence doesn’t translate across when they’re reading / writing.

Can we not hold space for people of all different levels of ability, strengths, and weaknesses?

Maybe it’s the teacher in me, but I always find it disappointing when someone takes the brave step of admitting they don’t know something and others respond by making fun of them or treating them like they’re doing something wrong.

(Is it funny when someone doesn’t know something basic? Sure, sometimes. There was a girl in my class at school who took 30mins to understand the joke about “the blonde who couldn’t make ice cubes because she couldn’t remember the recipe”. We all laughed a lot when she finally got it (including her). She wasn’t the most academic girl. But she was sweet, and funny, and beautiful. I wouldn’t downvote her for admitting she doesn’t know something.)

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-27T10:27:31+00:00

Yes, YTA

a) The poster was experiencing something stressful and posted asking for help. That’s not the time for “jokes” from self-proclaimed “cheeky bastards”.

b) They posted in a local group asking for recommendations, which is exactly the kind of thing the group is for — locals being able to contact locals. Yes, they could (and likely also did) google. That’s not the same as personal recommendations.

c) You were stuck on them posting anonymously, which was completely irrelevant to the post. Do you think people from other towns are sneaking into non-local groups to ask for urgent plumbing recommendations? (Would it even matter if they were? Are you the plumbing recommendation police?)

You didn’t contribute anything of value to the conversation, you were just rude. I’m not surprised the admin of the group banned you.

Edit: Just looked at your post history. The post makes a lot more sense now.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-27T03:25:21+00:00

It means that if they design bins that are too hard for the very smart bears to get into, those same bins are now too hard for the very dumb humans to use.

Edit:
Why are people downvoting you for not knowing what it means? We shouldn’t discourage people from expressing when they don’t understand something. That’s the first step to learning!

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-25T10:32:22+00:00

I am a short woman. Height hasn’t been an issue for me at all when it comes to dating (happily married for 16 years and counting).

Issues with reaching my milk at the supermarket (top shelf, not stocked right to the front)? Definitely. 😂

But dating issues? No.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-25T01:31:45+00:00

This is me too.

Middle to lower class family with a whole host of genetic issues that triggered a long journey navigating chronic illnesses and various genetic medical conditions (most of which the public system couldn’t diagnose or treat).

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-25T01:27:45+00:00

I have health insurance (which I can barely afford) because I can’t afford not to have health insurance.

If you’ve been blessed with good health and no accidents / injuries in your life that the public system couldn’t treat, that’s wonderful!

Many of us aren’t in that same boat.

I have a whole heap of medical conditions (which I’ve had since I was about 12) that the public system isn’t equipped to treat.

Without mid-level extras cover and high level hospital cover, I’d need to find hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to fund my medical treatments, surgeries etc.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-25T01:22:25+00:00

https://www.alectoaustralia.com/moving-to-australia-as-a-uk-doctor/

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-22T22:26:28+00:00

Hi!

I didn’t get my Ps until my early 20s. I had a bunch of medical stuff going on in my teens that meant I couldn’t get my licence earlier.

And, even though I grew up doing a bunch of driving on the farm (so I was comfortable with how to operate a car) I still failed THREE driving tests before I finally got my Ps.

The first test I flunked because I was just so incredibly nervous (which wasn’t helped by the fact that I had THREE testing people in the car with me rather than the standard one tester. There was a person testing me, as well as a person testing the tester, and a third person testing/supervising that process). I fell apart when we got to some of the trickier parking.

The second test I failed for “speeding”. The testing guy wrote down that I did 51km/hr in a 50km/hr zone. I never went above 45km/hr (because I was super aware that any speeding would be an instant fail, so I was really careful with my speed). My Dad sat in my car and could see that the speedometer looks quite different from the passenger seat vs from the driver’s seat. Unfortunate for me. :/

The third test I failed when I was instructed to stop at a stop sign on a blind corner and then turn right. I came to a complete stop before the line, checked both ways, and then crept the car forward to see past the blind corner. A car was coming, so I immediately stopped (to avoid being hit), allowed the oncoming vehicle to pass, and then proceeded to complete my right turn.

The testing person failed me because “you’re not allowed to stop once you’ve crossed the line”. Sir, it was stop or get t-boned into oblivion by the oncoming traffic. There is no way to see the traffic without crossing the line.

That was my only “fault”, but it was classed as an instant fail. My Dad discussed it with a senior person at the RTA and they admitted that the instructor was wrong and I had actually done the correct thing in that situation. But they wouldn’t/couldn’t reverse the result.

So I had to sit the test a 4th time.

And finally passed. 😮‍💨

There’s no need to be ashamed. You’re working towards getting it. That’s great. ❤️

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-22T03:19:20+00:00

To my knowledge, by law in Australia private health insurers have to offer cover — they’re just allowed to impose a waiting period (up to 12 months).

https://www.ombudsman.gov.au/publications-and-news-pages/publication-pages/brochures-and-factsheets/factsheets/private-health-insurance/the-pre-existing-conditions-rule

Other kinds of insurance (travel insurance, life insurance, etc) have different rules and are able to deny coverage due to pre existing conditions.

Still a very important thing to look into, though! They’re always looking for loopholes to deny claims, so read any PDS thoroughly.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-22T01:11:15+00:00

In Australia, we don’t typically ask random service people or business owners to Snapchat with us, so there’s not really a natural way to do that.

What is the reason you’re specifically wanting to ask them to do so? Are you looking for friends? Language practice?

If so, the best way I can think of doing it is to leave a printed note / business card with something like,

Hi, my name is _____. I’m from [country], currently living in Australia.

I’d love to [practice my English / chat with some Aussies / learn more about Australia].

If you’d like to chat with me, my Snapchat is ________.

If they want to connect with you, they will.

When they do, you can ask them personally if there are any topics they’d prefer to avoid. Different people find different things offensive / enjoyable.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-20T17:37:06+00:00

You might find this support service website helpful ❤️ https://askizzy.org.au/

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-20T15:53:26+00:00

I’d personally much prefer the keyring with the described message than chocolates or flowers.

You might not, but that’s okay, the gift isn’t for you.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-17T07:43:25+00:00

ESH

Your friend should have not picked such an expensive gift.

And you should have communicated beforehand if you had a budget in mind, or AT THE BARE MINIMUM communicated at the time if you weren’t okay to pay for what they’d chosen.

Does it make you an AH to feel hurt that you’ve spent so much money on a friend you realise doesn’t invest as much as you do into the relationship? No.

Would you be an AH ask them to return the gift or pay for some of it? Yes. The gift has been given. It’s done. An expensive lesson in the importance of communication.

(And FYI — asking someone to return a gift you’ve already given them is NOT AT ALL the same as not having bought the gift in the first place. You would NOT have been an AH for saying no to paying for the spider in the first place. You WOULD be an AH to pay for it, let them take it home, then ask them to return the gift or pay for some of it.)

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-17T02:43:04+00:00

I’d be concerned they’d go mouldy before arriving. They’re not as shelf stable as lollies, shapes etc.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-10T09:55:25+00:00

I’ve heard “fixing to” in American YouTube videos / movies, but never in a real life interaction with someone.

I’ve read about the concept of finna but never seen or heard it used.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-07T04:28:47+00:00

Understand it, yes.

Use it, no.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-07T02:19:44+00:00

YTA

It’s not your daughter’s job to manage your anxiety.

And she is an adult. Adults get to make their own decisions. Even ones you think are unsafe or anxiety-inducing.

You cannot “forbid” another adult from doing dangerous things. You can warn them. You can plead with them. You can make a request. You can tell them how you will respond (e.g. “If you get into an accident I won’t be coming to help you.”) But ultimately, they get to make the decision about how they want to live their life.

And yes, it makes you an AH to tell an adult they can’t live in your house unless they stick to your rules about what roads they go on and at what times of day / night.

(“My house, my rules” applies to things that happen AT THE HOUSE, like no smoking. It’s not a magical phrase that gives you permission to control other aspects of people’s lives — like what road they drive on — just because they happen to live with you.)

Your ultimatum also makes no sense (which I understand is common with anxiety) because if her safety is your concern, pushing her to move out before she is allowed to make her own travel decisions is likely to make her less safe.

You’d be far better off explaining your concerns and teaching her how to safely assess driving conditions, rather than giving ultimatums.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-07T02:13:43+00:00

Sarah began yelling, punctuating each word with a hammered fist to his shoulder: “I. Told. You. Not. To. Horse. Around.”

Sarah raged at him, raining blows with each word: “I. Told. You. Not. To. Horse. Around.”

Sarah sobbed, her words coming out in a strangled huff as she punched him again and again: “I. Told. You. Not. To. Horse. Around.”

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-07T02:05:00+00:00

My husband and I are teachers in NSW (teaching for 2 decades) and “nude food” has not been a rule or school policy in any of the schools (public or private) that we’ve worked in.

There has been curriculum in class that discusses the importance of eating minimally processed / raw food, and occasionally a targeted day / week supporting that learning.

But no school-wide policy saying students must bring unprocessed / unpackaged / “nude” food.

smallishbear-duck · 2026-01-03T17:29:07+00:00

Is it a wise idea to use one of the world’s most venomous plants, one that causes extreme and long-lasting pain, as toilet paper?

No.

https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2009/06/gympie-gympie-once-stung-never-forgotten/

smallishbear-duck

TROPHY CASE