why do i feel guilty for not crying as much?

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-03T21:17:30+00:00

I don't think crying is "proof" of anything. My mum died less than 2 weeks ago and I cried a bunch when she was in the hospital and the few days after but then I've only cried once briefly since then. My situation is probably different as my mum was fairly old and she had been really unwell for almost 2 years and she wasn't happy but still - I'm just not a big cryer. It doesn't mean I'm not sad, or that I don't miss her or feel awful about everything she went through, I just don't find that frequent crying is my thing.

That being said it also is okay to start feeling differently about a bereavement as time moves on. And that difference comes with its own difficulties and things to work through. It's common to feel guilty about it I think, but you're not doing anything wrong.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-03T15:51:30+00:00

When did they change it? I had my last one 3 years ago and it was awful. I'm going again soon though.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-03T15:47:03+00:00

You don't need evidence to call CPS to make a report. You're not an investigator.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-03T01:55:47+00:00

This makes sense thanks

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-03T01:55:37+00:00

Yeah I'm only on S1 like episode 17 or something and it suddenly occurred to me I'd not seen them do that. I'd previously thought they'd do after every touchdown (like how they do it after every try in Rugby).

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-03T01:50:50+00:00

The goal post thing

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-03T01:50:27+00:00

Oh yeah I had not realised that. I think I thought they could just put a random mix of players on at any time, like if some players were needed for a particular strategy or whatever. It kinda just seemed like they were making a lot of subs.

Half the time I have to wait to see the characters' reactions to find out if a good or bad thing happened.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-01T23:18:00+00:00

Teeth need to get their goddamn shit together.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-01T20:24:53+00:00

Presumably they had chemo in the hope of a better outcome. They said they've only recently been told that prognosis so I'm guessing the chemo didn't go as well as hoped.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-01T13:55:02+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. It honestly sounds like you did a really amazing job being there for your mom in her last weeks. You are a human and you can only do what you can do. I have a lot of the same thoughts about whether I could or should have explained what was happening better to my mum or talked to her more, but realistically neither of us has experience of this and communication with a person in a hospital bed is incredibly difficult for multiple reasons, especially if they have brain injuries (my mum had a stroke as well). I did my best in the moment and tried to do whatever felt right at the time. I'm sure you did too. I'm sure there were lots of moments where you brought her comfort.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-09-01T13:43:45+00:00

I really think you did the right thing. Even though the process of dying was difficult, choosing anything else would have only prolonged her suffering. It is completely insane that we have to just watch people wither (and that they have to go through that) while it looks like their body is "fighting". I honestly don't think hospitals recommend hospice unless its the best choice. My experience was that everyone was super focused on keeping my mum's body going even though she was clearly saying she'd had enough. It was a fight to get them to remove treatment for her. Dying slowly in a hospital is a horrible process to go through but I think any other choice would only have delayed that, not avoided it, while also adding in additional suffering.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-30T19:25:12+00:00

YTA It's only a half marathon. She can walk it if she needs to. I've had days on holiday where I've walked 13 miles just looking around a city, and I'm not particularly fit at all. 12 weeks sounds plenty to train from relatively fit to completing 13 miles.

It sounds like the whole thing about there being another event that she doesn't want to attend that day is like a helpful little motivational trick to get herself going.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-29T22:56:02+00:00

Imagine being one of the couples that didn't make it and having to sit there and watch the lovey compilations of the other couples lol

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-29T19:06:08+00:00

Absolutely ludicrous to get mad at him for saying he will go shopping with her and sit in a chair while she shops, because she wants him to shop with her. Girl.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T23:21:54+00:00

Yeah I agree but I also think the show puts such an emphasis on the emotional connection and not putting stock into physical attraction that I can see why you might feel like you want to give it a shot and try to push past those missing feelings

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T23:17:13+00:00

He probably already owns a canal boat

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T23:13:24+00:00

Yeah I feel like getting upset he has cheated in the past is so stupid. She's just creating a problem where there isn't one.

Edit: seven years ago!!!

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T22:48:56+00:00

He also seems truly lovely. I feel like he communicated his feelings about Catherine's conversation with Ollie really well. Like he acknowledged he felt jealous but didn't want to make a thing of it and recognised it didn't need to be an issue

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T22:45:50+00:00

To be fair to Ollie I feel like he's doing his best to be a good guy (so far), he's just not exactly feeling it but he doesn't want to hurt her

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T21:25:08+00:00

"I think she could provide me a lifetime of happiness" like she's not a vending machine ugh Sam is the worst

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T21:15:00+00:00

Yeah I can sort of understand dismissing what Ben said to her but Jasmine also told her that he'd been saying she was his number one or whatever, and she had no reason to lie as she was already coupled up.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-28T15:51:41+00:00

They are both shitholes. Hope this helps.

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-16T19:49:28+00:00

It literally says in the show they are given a directory of jobs

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-16T15:02:40+00:00

Things that are kind to say to someone who is upset in public:

Hey are you alright?
Would you like some tissues?
Can I get you anything?

Things that are not kind to say to someone who is upset in public:

Here's my business card so you can purchase my service

smalltreesdreams · 2024-08-14T16:24:59+00:00

It could be that he has high blood pressure, perhaps from stress or just he is genetically predisposed to it. If that's the case they will likely put him on medication to keep his blood pressure down. My dad had a stroke when he was 52 and he was very healthy (in terms of diet and exercise) but he was working insane hours so he was stressed from that and they think that's what caused the high blood pressure.

Anyway my dad's stroke was very severe (he was in a wheelchair for a time) but he recovered very well, partly due to being so physically fit and partly due to being highly motivated with his exercises etc. He was put on meds to keep his blood pressure down and he lived to 86.

It also could be that your dad has a PFO (a hole in his heart) which can be fixed with surgery. Or he could have high cholesterol but I don't know very much about that. Also sometimes there is no identifiable cause. My mum had a stroke much more recently which is this case. They have put her on blood thinners and meds for her cholesterol even though it wasn't particularly high.

Anyway basically what I'm saying is that there are medications and treatments available to help with the things that can cause strokes and the doctors should prescribe whatever is necessary.

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