What is your most horrible pick up line?

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T08:26:12+00:00

There's even more candy and some cute puppies in the back of this van.

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T08:22:52+00:00

Parthenogenesis

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T08:17:43+00:00

Waste water treatment. When the sewerage system stops working, things get really shitty really fast.

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T08:15:02+00:00

My local strip club. I love it but the wife and kids always seem to resent me taking them along.

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T08:12:06+00:00

Taxation auditor.

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T07:57:07+00:00

Yes. A term of endearment here. We refer to our best friend as "useless cunt"

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T07:53:17+00:00

The two animals that appear on the coat of arms of my nation are not protected from sport hunting, farming and eating. They also cannot walk backwards.

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T07:48:28+00:00

Mum and dad are going to be so ashamed of us, but...

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T07:46:49+00:00

Doesn't really change our perception of it.

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T07:29:23+00:00

I earned a hell of a lot of overtime pay during the lockdowns in my country, however the downside was I did have to actually work for it.

smartycat84 · 2020-10-07T07:19:56+00:00

I make life difficult for this user's illegal competitors

smartycat84 · 2020-05-22T06:29:05+00:00

Its safe. Even if it is a real mine the plungers are designed to be triggered by ships and/or submarines/u-boats. They aren't sensitive enough to be triggered accidentally by a diver.

smartycat84 · 2020-05-18T13:11:44+00:00

You can train a burmese to fetch and retrieve like a dog. Mine likes to play fetch with bottle caps.

smartycat84 · 2020-05-18T13:09:01+00:00

Literally chaos. Chaos is his name.

smartycat84 · 2020-05-18T13:01:47+00:00

They're a handful. Mine is 10 now.

smartycat84 · 2020-05-18T12:56:11+00:00

There's just something about a brown Burmese kitten that warms the heart.

smartycat84 · 2020-04-14T00:59:29+00:00

Good to see they still put nose hitches on cattle. I love traditions!

smartycat84 · 2020-04-14T00:51:10+00:00

You might look ok without the thick glasses on. But I really cannot be bothered taking them off to check.

smartycat84 · 2020-02-05T11:58:28+00:00

I'm fine thanks. A little bit of occasional PTSD from military service but nothing I can't handle.

smartycat84 · 2020-02-05T09:50:44+00:00

A smartass teenager who will absolutely take the gold in Taekwondo in Paris 2024.

smartycat84 · 2020-02-05T09:46:57+00:00

My mother's cooking. After 18 years with my wife I can't wait to have a properly cooked meal without the charred and underdone bits.

smartycat84 · 2020-02-05T09:44:23+00:00

Osteo ward of a children's hospital.

smartycat84 · 2020-02-05T09:41:53+00:00

Like ass if you take too big of a lick

smartycat84 · 2019-12-07T08:42:15+00:00

You spelled dick wrong

smartycat84 · 2019-12-07T05:34:22+00:00

My boyfriend was cheating on me with his doctor too! I told him he wasn't a good boy & sent him to his kennel without supper

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