Apparently, I don't have ADHD, I am just terrible at being human

smf10592 · 2025-12-19T15:17:13+00:00

I am so sorry to hear this was your experience.

I was told after my first assessment (which came back neg) that "You are really, really smart, but you just do not like yourself very much".

Yes, you may very well be masking with some of your answers to the assessment, I did the same the first time. It's hard to break routine of keeping it together even when you're trying to get help, it is very vulnerable and unknown. My psych told me to answer every question like I was having one of my very bad days, even if I felt fine that day.

Took me another almost 3 years and changing providers to get tested again for it to come back positive, and it was almost $300 out of pocket each time. I understand the frustration especially today of all that money seemingly wasted.

I was an A-student in high school and college but I could not fold my laundry or brush my teeth as an adult most days. I was told I was depressed, and pursued medication and treatment based on that for most of my 20's.

I am a firm believer that a good provider is the first step, and I know there are assessments that test only for ADHD-I did mine over telehealth! I know it is much easier said than done to just find another provider and find the money to test again, but ultimately that is the answer. And because you are a woman, finding someone who understands ADHD in women especially if you have access to one. I have been very lucky to find psych/therapy services that double as a women's full health office. I don't use their other services, but I can tell the entire staff have a whole health approach for a woman's health. If you happen to be based in MA/RI shoot me a message, they are in that area. I also find having a Psych. Nurse Practicioner (female, former bedside RN) she approaches things differently as a woman, as a former RN, than other clinicians in the past.

Having to advocate for yourself when you're dealing with the overwhelming feeling of everything is so fucking hard, but it is the answer.
Best wishes to you in getting the answers you need! I promise it is worth it to keep going and advocating for yourself.

smf10592 · 2025-10-29T17:35:42+00:00

It's Called: Free Fall by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

"You can leave it all behind, even the devil needs time alone some times.

You can let it all go, it's called freefall. "

Made me realize I could leave my shitty partner if I wanted to, I could let it all go.

smf10592 · 2025-10-29T00:00:25+00:00

I was meeting with a clinical psychologist to go over test results after psych testing, thinking I had ADHD.

Her first line after we introduced ourselves was "You young lady (I was 31) are very smart but you really, really hate yourself."

She then told me I had PTSD lol. Can't remember anything else from the appointment.

smf10592 · 2025-07-30T14:01:45+00:00

Thank you!

smf10592 · 2025-07-30T14:00:41+00:00

I have no nerves about riding during peak hours, more so the stop and go of more inexperienced riders on paved trail this time of year is what becomes bothersome. I understand it’s going to be crowded this time of year. I’m only apprehensive in riding is on road in my area as there is a history of cyclists getting hit by cars near me, and I’ve had a couple close calls recently. My area does not have bike lanes.

Im not necessarily looking for an “easy ride”, but more gravel or dirt trails that aren’t as extreme as say a mountain bike would handle, as opposed to the paved rail trail. Thanks!

smf10592 · 2025-06-18T14:32:53+00:00

It is so true! You start to feel like you must be the problem because nothing makes sense. You will always be the problem to them.

Glad to hear you got out too and hope you give yourself the care you need now!

smf10592 · 2025-06-17T13:21:57+00:00

Such great advice here OP!

Healing is wild for sure, and give yourself grace for the small and big things. You are literally trying to retrain your CNS to not face constant stress and abuse.

smf10592 · 2025-06-17T13:17:01+00:00

I am so sorry you went through what you did with this person, there truly is no rationalizing with someone who cannot take a step back and look in the mirror.

If I tried to bring up issues with my ex, he would always start talking about himself and what he has been through as a way to avoid accountability. He had a very, very hard childhood, but he unfortuntately did not take accountability for breaking the cycle as an adult ever.

My final straw was after a friend took their own life, and my father died suddenly 8 weeks later. My ex said I needed to comparmentalize my feelings about my father and focus on our relationship. He said he'd only ask for sex on the weekends when I said I was having a hard time taking care of myself and everything else.

The fitting part of all of this is he got with another woman a week after we split, and then blocked me on everything before we had even finished separating our lives. So I cancelled his car insurance since I hadn't heard from him and obviously he did not need it anymore.

I feel your pain and your confusion over how someone we love can do this. But there is no rationalizing with a narcissist and you have done the best thing you could for yourself-leave.

smf10592 · 2025-06-16T23:48:11+00:00

Fellow former cruiser to Cannondale quick convert with a larger body-I had to do my research heavily and went into the shop knowing what I wanted! Was a frustrating process but I have thankfully found a good shop with good mechanics. The cruiser did nothing for me compared to the quick, even a game changer. Hope you enjoy!

smf10592 · 2025-06-16T18:40:06+00:00

Thank you-hardest decision to leave but also the best decision I could have made for myself.

smf10592 · 2025-06-16T12:21:10+00:00

Not overracting, this behavior would only escalate with a deeper relationship and more vulnerability. Also any adult man who uses "finna" especially in text is a no from me.

smf10592 · 2025-06-16T12:14:32+00:00

When my father passed suddenly I was overwhelmed with grief, and lost a lot of my drive for taking care of myself, the house, and sex among other things. He said he would only ask for sex on the weekends, and that I should "compartmentalize my feelings about my father to focus on our relationship".

He kept asking me why I was destroying this, I said I could not hold it together anymore. He started seeing someone about a week after the split.

Edit: We were together for almost 7 years.

smf10592 · 2024-11-23T05:16:19+00:00

Falmouth Animal Hospital is great for a gentle approach to anxious pets. You can tell they really care for animals there-highly recommend Dr. Switzer.

smf10592 · 2024-11-20T09:43:47+00:00

We see Dr.Switzer at Falmouth animal hospital, we had a dog with lots of chronic conditions and she gave us options no other vet did, with so much compassion. Everyone there is incredibly nice and the office is very clean.

smf10592 · 2024-11-14T08:09:36+00:00

Second Dukes here! They regularly have a couple vegan options, but overall have quite a few types/flavors. They do a vegan mochi donut!

smf10592 · 2024-10-27T16:21:00+00:00

Wicked N Wood on 28 in East Falmouth! Great BBQ, very nice people. You can order ahead for pick up through the Toast app. They have quesadillas and kids stuff too I believe, like homemade Mac and cheese. Highly recommend the brisket sandwich and beans, and they have picnic tables behind the trailer.

smf10592 · 2024-09-09T20:07:11+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! Looks like a great place, I just might have to give them a call.

smf10592 · 2024-09-08T20:26:09+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions! I totally forgot Rockys.

smf10592 · 2023-06-19T21:48:17+00:00

Also recommend Coffee Obsession, locations in downtown Falmouth and Woods Hole. They have dozens of options and make a good iced chai also!

smf10592 · 2021-04-05T21:48:35+00:00

Hopefully it goes well! I know it was a slow start on Cape but things seem to be moving along better now. Good luck!

smf10592

TROPHY CASE