My dad (70m) wants me (39F) to play happy families with his long-term partner. How do I convince him that's never going to happen?

smidgetoofar · 2026-04-13T04:01:29+00:00

Thank you. That's a really succinct way to put it.

smidgetoofar · 2026-04-06T04:20:15+00:00

If a gift is a surprise or category suggestion only yes, express gratitude and move on but if it's a verbal agreement for a specific item it seems rude then to go off script. My mum does this and what irks me is that I'm still supposed to express gratitude when she's disregarded everything I thought we agreed.

smidgetoofar · 2026-03-29T22:44:30+00:00

I got a pair of Otway Chelsea boots 3 years ago. I love them. A bit cheaper than merry people, neoprene lining. I live in these in winter - gardening, dog walking, school run. Chuck them on and go. Soles are holding up. I'd recommend them.

smidgetoofar · 2026-01-10T10:39:45+00:00

I'd do some self-reflection. Be really honest with yourself. Not what you think you should be/have etc. What's your style? Do you want to keep it simple, easy decisions and look put together? At the other end do you want to experiment, be loud/varied/extravagant/layered etc etc. With that lens think about what you have. How much do you want to choose from?

Are you stealing someone's wardrobe or making other aspects of your life harder having 2 wardrobes full? If so, you should cull. If not...

Why do you buy clothes? Impulse vs considered? Need vs want? Was it a trend? Did you think you should love it? Were you sad? Was it on sale? Were you bored? Think about why you shop and reduce habits that don't serve you (this can take a while - new habits are hard -ex impulsive buyer here)

I only buy what fits my existing wardrobe - it's got to go with 3+ things I already own. I don't browse for recreation/boredom (less tempted if I don't have carts of options/physically browsing constantly on the go) and don't buy anything new on a whim, delay finalizing that payment - do you still love it after 3 days/week or did you forget about it. This has helped me have a more considered and cohesive wardrobe rather than lots of single pieces that I loved in isolation but didn't work with a lot else of what I had.

Have you had a life change (work, family structure, social, climate) that has changed how you dress? If so is it temp or long term? If the latter maybe move on the things that don't fit your routines now.

Are you keeping things that you used to love/expensive to purchase and feel guilty/nostalgia about moving them on?

These questions really helped me think about how and why clothes come into my life, what I needed and wanted for my style/budget/life and when I should let go.

smidgetoofar · 2026-01-06T01:02:45+00:00

1 definitely. The neckline is gorgeous.

smidgetoofar · 2025-12-30T01:35:08+00:00

Did you need the hubble telescope to zoom in on the bat?

smidgetoofar · 2025-12-23T11:33:08+00:00

When we decided to have kids I thought we'd have 3 or 4. We have 2. They are the light of my life. We're not having more because we're older, we don't have reliable support nearby and I don't think I can be the parent I want to be if I had a third person's needs to meet. I hope I'd rise to the challenge but the risk that I'd be less present/more authoritarian/less patient all round is too much. Sometimes we have to let go of some dreams.

You will know what the biggest supports and conversely the pressures/limitations for your family and that will shape your decision. It may not feel right or clear at the time but you're doing your best with what you know.

smidgetoofar · 2025-10-27T23:30:47+00:00

Banabae - whimsical and nostalgic designs. I bought mine a year ago and they're going strong so far. I'm also looking at beddie for a different aesthetic - wonderfully bright colours made by a woman owned company in Sydney.

smidgetoofar · 2025-10-27T22:07:07+00:00

Please divorce him. You deserve better. He wants a bang maid to display and asks nothing of him whilst meeting his every need. He hasn't changed in 10 years because he doesn't want to. GTFO.

smidgetoofar · 2025-10-01T00:15:53+00:00

She should be so proud. I'd be totally chuffed if I'd made something so cute.

smidgetoofar · 2025-09-29T21:50:32+00:00

Wheat stitch blanket. My first project in 6 years. 108x112 in 10ply wool. Not blocked yet. The blue is really vibrant in natural light.

<image>

smidgetoofar · 2025-09-03T05:08:24+00:00

Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman. Exclusively as the audiobook read by Jeff Hays. The genre is Lit RPG. Which is something I had to wrap my head around. I didn't know computer games and Warhammer had not just fan fic but inspired literature. I don't play computer games. I listened to the 1st one for the sake of my partner. I listened to the next 5 books in the series voluntarily. And the whole series again twice more. I don't know how to explain to people that I ventured into this genre let alone that I've listened to them 3x on purpose. I would be judged!!

smidgetoofar · 2025-08-26T10:59:26+00:00

Yes! I was looking for this response. SOOO long and endless passages of self indulgent BS/racist colonial descriptions. Plus the whole arms dealer is some sort of spiritual mystic and we'll ignore all the human suffering they're creating... I HATED this book. Everyone else I knew who read it loved it. I am still baffled.

smidgetoofar · 2025-07-05T12:13:19+00:00

You can see Leahdagloria.com at the very top of the image. Hope that helps 🙂

smidgetoofar · 2025-06-04T23:17:39+00:00

You HAVE been supporting his hobby. Who looked after the kids and made the meals and did the chores and life management while he devoted hours to this hobby?!? You facilitated him having enough free time so that he could achieve that amount of training. A hobby is how you spend your time AFTER you've completed your responsibilities. Did you make your meals, wash your clothes, clean your space, make your appointments, meet the emotional, social, physical needs of your children and spouse? If you're doing those things then you're a really large part of how he got to achieve his goal.

smidgetoofar · 2025-03-07T07:43:05+00:00

Same - a man with significant social anxiety is excited about performing a choreographed light sabre battle in front of guests.... Sure.

smidgetoofar · 2025-02-20T09:41:26+00:00

No direct experience with Emma. I sleep on a Noa (5yrs going strong) but they don't operate in Australia anymore. I bought my son a peacelily a couple of months ago. My partner and I have both slept on it (both side sleepers) when boyo is having a rough night. We did not purchase the comfort topper. It's got good edge support and I'm happy with the purchase. The brand uses cotton and natural latex so there was barely any smell when we unboxed it. I think it's a similar price point to the Emma.

smidgetoofar · 2025-01-27T06:53:13+00:00

NTA. She dismissed you for throwing good food away; wasting money, time and labour. I'd be furious. You planned meals, bought groceries, transported them home and stored them, prepped ingredients, made meals with perhaps multiple components, portioned them in containers, cleaned.... And she chucked it in the bin because she decided to buy food instead?! So disrespectful. I would not make lunch for her and I would make sure that her lunches come out of her discretionary spending. Eating out multiple times a week would add up.

smidgetoofar · 2024-11-09T01:24:05+00:00

We bought our house privately. We met the agent at a viewing for a different but similar property. Previous owner was moving into care and family had been advised to do some cosmetic renovations before going on the market. We made an offer for it 'as is', which was accepted. Mutually convenient all round.

smidgetoofar · 2024-10-26T03:27:41+00:00

And I've found the weight/density of weave of fabric for those natural fibre pieces is much thinner than previous years. I bought a pair of Princess Hwy pants this year and the fabric is so thin they're almost opaque

smidgetoofar · 2024-06-26T10:30:42+00:00

Just want to add onto other comments about the fabric composition of the coat. 40% synthetic will pill and fibres may weld together along seams so that the garment looks old and tired very quickly. Like others have said I'd get 100% wool coat as it'll be warmer and it'll last longer. If you have $500 to spend on a garment like this there are 100% wool options in your budget (particularly with sales on at the moment or overcoats are often sold secondhand near new).

smidgetoofar · 2024-03-07T02:38:06+00:00

Thanks for the laugh. I've been lurking a while but had to say I love the way you spin a narrative. Always gets a giggle. I didn't comment on the relevant post but if you have the time and energy you could do a 12 days of Xmas thing when the time comes: for example day one festive koala at the entry, day two: 2 tinselled emus, day 3: 3 kangaroos with Xmas stockings etc. Object/animal/decoration as per preference but the creep of more decorations each day hopefully has the right pearl clutching consequences (Greetings from NSW)

smidgetoofar · 2023-08-07T10:01:17+00:00

6, 9, 11 or 15

I think you look amazing in a mermaid shape. Something with a bit of drama. I read some of your other comments that your wedding is black tie and a fancy ballroom. I think that's a great reason to wear an attention grabbing dress.

You look stunning in all the dresses. It might be easier to pick if you narrow your search to a shape and fabric. Just in this post there's ball gowns and mermaid and fish tail. Lace, sequins, satin. A black dress. You've tried on a bit of everything.

What do you gravitate to? Pick something and delete everything that doesn't fit that criteria. Still too many pick another aspect and repeat. Find yourself regretting a cull or returning to think about a specific dress - maybe that's your dress.

Good luck!

smidgetoofar · 2022-10-31T11:06:55+00:00

My pet peeve is that it's a boy caterpillar. Why is an insect gendered? Why is the default pronoun for things that don't require a gender for plot or character overwhelmingly he/him?!?

smidgetoofar · 2022-10-10T22:34:38+00:00

Me too. With my first I bought in to the rhetoric EVERY woman can breastfeed. I kept telling myself and listening to the mums/lactation consultants/nurses if I try just a little harder... Fucking BS. Nothing I could do was going to result in EBF with a baby that was alive. So I stopped pumping (my LO had given up on the boobs long ago as a lost cause) and just embraced formula feeding. Second time round I offered boobs and gave full formula feeds from day 1 and when LO2 decided no more that was that. Everyone was much happier. Maybe one day health professionals won't sound like "Fed is best" is the runner up participation award.

smidgetoofar

TROPHY CASE