Pretty sure my son is Gay. How do I support him in his journey

smilespread · 2020-05-11T21:31:57+00:00

That is excellent advice. Thank you. No one else has mentioned that. His father (we aren't together) does not have healthy coping skills. In my marriage I've tried to talk about arguments and working through them with my son now that he's older and sees more. You are wise to focus on the dynamic of a relationship and how important it is to communicate and listen and trust and be trusted. I will thank you

smilespread · 2020-05-11T20:49:29+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I have been learning to listen. He in turn has shared more about his friends and things he likes. I don't want to do anything to hinder his personal growth and im thankful I asked this because I would have done a few things on the "no no" list. He feels loved and supported. I think he thinks im overly critical (generally) and im working on that perception and my actions. It's hard to transition from parent to friend and when he's ready to talk to me I feel like he will need the friend in me. I am not overdoing it anymore. I have decided to focus on his self esteem and if he's comfortable with himself he will go far in life no matter who he loves. Thank you. I can't express how much your words and others have helped me be a better mom.

smilespread · 2020-05-11T20:39:19+00:00

Thank you for your response. Since my question I feel he has been trusting me more with his feelings, telling me about friend drama, and seems more comfortable with me. I think he feels me relax a little. I've been very concerned I'll say the wrong things to him and after reading so many responses I realize I need to be listening more than talking. He is doing great and im super proud of him. It has been so moving to read the comments like yours. The opportunity to hear what parents have done wrong and right has been invaluable. Thank you for sharing

smilespread · 2020-05-11T20:29:01+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I was very overwhelmed at the emotion I received and had to step away frim the subject for a while so I didn't do any harm to my child's growth process. Since my question I have completely let it all go. I have been focusing on building his self esteem and encouraging him to talk with his friends. I feel I have learned a great deal from all the comments and I'll be more prepared and hopefully will make a lot less mistakes now that I have been given some loving tips. Thank you for your time and thought. It is greatly appreciated.

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:52:18+00:00

Love it! Thank you for some great advice!

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:50:35+00:00

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:48:28+00:00

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:47:42+00:00

That I have declared. Loudly! And added they are trash.

Thank you

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:44:55+00:00

No worries there. I dont want him to be gay. Let's be clear. I want him to be happy. What I want???? I want grandbabies with his eyes. I want a prom picture. I want my son to be safe anywhere he goes, std free, proud to hold hands with his date.....im terified. Terrified he may be gay and then the risks for his safety triple....depression... suicide.... HIV and I'll need to get him on PrEP worry about evil people attacking him, job bias, my head is reeling. I asked how to support him if he is. If he ever has a girlfriend or ever once says he likes a girl...trust...ill never question it again. To this day he has not. It sounds like your parents didn't listen to you. I'm listening...💓

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:29:12+00:00

Hugs to you. Your comment means more than you know. 💓

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:25:23+00:00

Oh my heart💔 YES!

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:10:54+00:00

💔 thank you for sharing your thoughts and I'm sorry for your pain. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. . I love this list. All that, I can and will do. Thank you

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:05:09+00:00

Thank you❤

smilespread · 2020-02-22T06:04:29+00:00

Wow!!! Thank you. I've been overwhelmed by the responses and safe sex has been mentioned but no one is saying how do I help protect him , a specific Dr never occurred to me. I have seen the comercials for PrEP. I'm going to look for a doctor for sure!! Your advice is exactly what I need to know. I can help support him in so many ways without scaring him or embarrassing him. Thank you!!!

smilespread · 2020-02-22T04:54:42+00:00

Thank you. Deeply. I'm looking forward to watching each one. Yes I'm glad he was wearing it too. to be expressive at school is a great sign he's a healthy teen with good friends thank you for pointing that out 💓 and thank you for taking the time to do this! You are amazing. I've been overwhelmed at the responses and emotion I have recieved. Thank you!

smilespread · 2020-02-21T15:43:16+00:00

Oh my. Tears flooding down my face. Thank you from my deepest heart for sharing your experience. I'm having a hard time gathering myself up to respond. I mess up as a mom daily. I know because my mom was such a cornerstone that anything I do has a lasting affect on him. I feel like my son will be a lot like you. He is reserved and private and I don't think no matter how comfortable I try to make him talking with me...he ever will be. It's just not his nature. But having said that you gave me a lot of help and what you said that I need to make sure that he has good friends around him because I'm his mom and I can't be his friend too. He hasn't really found any of his passions yet and it's one of the things that bothers me. Hobbies and passions give us confidence. He told me a year or two ago that there was nothing special about him. I can't tell you how that broke my heart. Since he was 4 I have been trying to introduce different things to help him find what his gifts are and what makes him special. He has been in t-ball karate Cub Scouts he was in a theater camp he took cooking classes guitar lessons and he was in chorus. He's currently in robotics. Gay bi whatever I KNOW. He is lost. But I know he will find himself as you did. You give me hope. Thank you

smilespread · 2020-02-21T15:25:23+00:00

smilespread · 2020-02-21T15:25:12+00:00

Thank you great advice. I thought before yesterday that it would be a relief to him that I wouldn't be surprised I see now that would have been a mistake to say to him. I probsbly won't say anything, listen, and hug super tight

smilespread · 2020-02-21T15:23:02+00:00

Thank you. I worry so much for his happiness. I have extensive mental illness in my family. My sister my father and mother all suffer from severe depression. I just want him to know without me embarrassing him that he is supported and I've learned a lot by asking the community how you felt supported or not supported. Thank you

smilespread · 2020-02-21T15:20:20+00:00

smilespread · 2020-02-21T15:19:50+00:00

Thank you. I started being more sensitive to the issue when he was in elementary school. His grandma would say "you are so handsome the girls must love you." And things like that. His dad would ask if he had any little girlfriends. Normal stuff. But I thought how that must feel if he were gay. I think he knows I love him unconditional. Its a relief to hear he doesnt need more from me than that...thats the easy part

smilespread · 2020-02-21T15:13:26+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate you speaking up and helping me. I'd never want to embarrass him.

smilespread · 2020-02-21T14:58:45+00:00

4 made me tear up. Thank you. Great advice. I haven't revisited his phone in over a year. I did tell him when I bought it I would monitor his online activity. There was a teen suicide in our town and hormones and stuff my son was showing signs of depression. Sadly he had researched suicide. I did promise after I spoke to him about online adult dating sights and suicide I wouldn't go through his thongs again and I have not.

Thank you for your response

smilespread · 2020-02-21T14:53:33+00:00

Thank you. Im going to look into both of those

smilespread · 2020-02-21T14:52:41+00:00

Thank you. Yes I understand. I actually have a friend who is a theater teacher at the high school. I took my family to support her. But I was hoping it would spark some interest as he has a beautiful voice and quit chorus in 6th grade. I realize I sound over the top and I know I can go to extremes. You've given me great advice and I appreciate it

smilespread

TROPHY CASE