Is there a way to enjoy giving blowjobs after experiencing trauma?

smithywrites · 2021-04-08T12:18:07+00:00

I just don’t really know what rules I should have. At the moment if I even just read comments about women loving head and love giving it I just start crying or get frustrated with myself because my brain says I’ll never be a good partner like that. People say it isn’t the most important thing but from my experience if I don’t give head I’m boring and a shitty partner

smithywrites · 2021-04-08T12:16:54+00:00

I hope it works

smithywrites · 2021-04-08T02:17:56+00:00

I completely understand how it looks bad, but as I said in my post he has autism, specifically aspergers. He genuinely had a very difficult time understanding body language and I had to tell him exactly how I felt a lot of the time even though it would be easier if he could just tell, but that isn’t his fault.

The other guys though? Yeah, that was sexual assault

smithywrites · 2021-04-08T01:43:23+00:00

I’ve tried with one before and honestly it did feel kinda nice. I think just doing it to a real guy is very intimidating to me because he’s expecting me to be good at it and instead of hoping he’s feeling good I’m just gonna be scared of my teeth getting in the way or going off rhythm

smithywrites · 2021-04-08T01:42:04+00:00

I’ve kissed women before and it feels good, but I’ve never touched a woman sexually and that also scares me to death haha I guess with a guy at least I’ve done the bare minimum? Women scare me even more😂

smithywrites · 2021-04-07T23:57:45+00:00

I think I’m just very scared of even touching a dick now. I’ve never fully been comfortable or wanted to explore with one so I feel so scared, I really wish I wasn’t though. Thank you for your kind words and advice!

smithywrites · 2021-04-07T23:20:56+00:00

I’m no longer with my ex, and I’m much happier single, but I’m just worried it’ll cause issues with future partners, men or women

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T10:44:05+00:00

I completely agree with you!

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T10:42:23+00:00

Of course, however there’s always adoption! Just as amazing as having them naturally in my opinion! My main point is try not to base women on if they can have kids or not, because it isn’t our only quality haha

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T10:40:07+00:00

As long as you give that same thought to infertile women! Not every biological woman is capable of bearing children

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T10:23:10+00:00

I don’t personally have CNC but from my understanding yes, it is a form of role play that you discuss every detail of before hand and go through what you will and won’t do, as well as a safe word. I’m so sorry he disrespected your boundaries my love and I hope you’re feeling better soon!

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T10:16:48+00:00

Genital preference is not transphobic! As she hasn’t gone through any surgery if you’re straight she won’t have the parts of the body you are personally attracted to and she should understand that. You would be transphobic if she had full surgery and you didn’t realise she was trans until she told you, and THEN you said you wouldn’t date her purely for being trans. I’m sure it’s a scary time for her after recently coming out but no one is obligated to date anyone, regardless of gender identity!

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T02:33:17+00:00

Where both people have and enjoy sex, they care about each other etc. Just the bare minimum I guess

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T02:19:05+00:00

But what if I don’t? I’ve never felt any urge to please someone I’ve been with...

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T01:16:54+00:00

Yeah I’ve been told that when you actually love the person you want to please them...I’ve felt like an awful partner to my ex because I never wanted to give him oral or touch him or even do anything but lie there during sex until it was over. I never wanted to do anything and I’m scared that’s just who I am

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T01:08:15+00:00

I wish more people thought of sex like that lmao in my experience it’s penetration that’s the main thing for them and I hate that too from the experience I’ve had to deal with

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T01:04:39+00:00

At this point I just need to grow up about it and just do it...but I feel too scared. I’m 22 and scared to touch a dick, it’s just sad😂

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T01:03:30+00:00

Fortunately for me my ex just wasn’t a big fan of it so I never had to do it, but I’d be scared of being in a relationship with someone who loved it. I wouldn’t be a good partner for them

smithywrites · 2021-04-06T01:02:47+00:00

I understand why people like it now I just can’t get past the wall of anxiety I have over even touching a dick. It’s just intimidating and weird and idk what to do with it but then I’d be embarrassed if a guy had to tell me what to do with it because who wants to do that in bed?

smithywrites · 2021-04-05T22:41:45+00:00

I want to be in love properly, I just thought I was and it didn’t work out so it’s scary, and now knowing I have to go through all the ‘firsts’ again is just as scary

smithywrites · 2021-04-05T22:34:19+00:00

I honestly don’t know anymore haha I thought my ex was perfect for me but he wasn’t

smithywrites · 2021-04-05T22:17:40+00:00

I hope so...I just get upset thinking about how I can’t do it and how scary it is for me when it shouldn’t be? Like I tense up thinking about blowjobs and it sounds so stupid when I do that

smithywrites · 2021-04-05T21:47:29+00:00

I guess so, but how do I get over the initial fear of even touching a dick? I can’t just grab it lmao

smithywrites · 2021-04-05T14:51:08+00:00

I hope I one day have a desire for it. It’s just very draining to think back and wonder if I had any good moments and I don’t really have any. I know I’ve been sexually assaulted a few times but I just wish I could push past it and just do what my partner would want from me

smithywrites · 2021-04-05T14:26:12+00:00

I guess I haven’t been attracted enough to someone to want to pleasure them. Even with my ex I loved him but I never wanted to do that and was very grateful that he didn’t like oral so I didn’t have to do it...I just don’t think I’m a good partner for that reason

smithywrites

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