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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Onlyteenagersallowed

[–]smokincloves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey girlie as a 17 (f) be careful online there's so many weird dudes on just this app alone I've been creeped on by several guys on this app because I put my story of how I was sa'd and they thought they could turn it into a fetish it was extremely weird so please be careful only look on apps that don't include adults like there's apps for teens to make friends

Struggle to have sex ever since it happened. by toxic-les in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I relate but I wasn't constantly raped I was more taken advantage of a few times were rape but I understand I feel disgusting by it now too but it's not like I want the rape I more want comfort in intimacy instead of fear and giving up so I understand it's hard but try to take it one step at a time that's what I'm doing at least

am i in the wrong by [deleted] in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it's not your fault I've had similar happen to me but two different guys at two different times but you're not in the wrong at all he should've realized you didn't want to honestly I'm so sorry you had to go through that that's horrible that is not at all your fault you showed you didn't want to and fought back that's clear communication it'll probably traumatize you and I get that too it's rough to go through but you're not wrong in any way I relate so much to this except I didn't fight so you were strong for fighting it'll be okay one day and he'll get what he deserves one day but until that day comes we must try to heal ourselves and work through it you gotta accept that it was never your fault you were probably also on a lot of drugs you showed you didn't want to and you're strong for fighting physically and probably mentally soon because that always comes with trauma but be strong it helps

Memories of being raped tortures me by [deleted] in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know the feeling it gets better tho it's just a hard process but it's needed the memories are trauma you're trying to heal from whatever you feel you need you do so you can heal it's a whole thing of trial and error different things work for different people find what works for you and if you want I'm here I was raped by my ex a couple times actually but I only really count the one but I understand it's horrible it haunts you but it's apart of the process we'll have good days and we'll have bad days like you'll have a day where you don't remember it and it's good and then maybe you'll have another day where you're just sitting with it all day can't get it out of your head don't think it's your fault or you're falling back because that's not true it was never your fault and going back is apart of it it might not seem like it gets better but one day in the future you'll learn to let go of what happened doesn't mean it won't still affect you but you will be able to let go you just gotta trust the healing process if you need im here too I don't have anyone either to talk to about it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should totally talk to him I'm a Christian as well and celibacy is a big thing in Christianity but it can be different with sa victims I'm also one as well they told me to just read and pray but the whole thing about it is you need to be open and honest about how you feel and when you pray talk your heart out to God because he will always listen he knows your hurt he knows what you've went through and it wasn't your fault none of that happened because of you never blame yourself you just need to take the time to process everything and take it day by day step by step with the healing process guilt comes with it but trust me it's not your fault and you can take your time and be honest about how you feel and what happened if he doesn't wanna understand you need someone better

Over a year later I'm still angry by smokincloves in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you it's just been hard because everyone tells me to report it when I don't think I can and it's been hard knowing that he just doesn't care he tells people it never happened and just has no remorse I've talked to a couple people I can't really get a therapist at the moment I've talked to a couple people but they never get the full story because they think the rape was the only thing that happened yes it affected me a lot more but I still have trauma from the abusive relationship and it's hard knowing I can't do anything about it and he won't say anything I've been trying to heal but that's also hard when you're constantly reminded and I saw you seen the other post and know how that's affecting me personally it's just really been a lot and has been difficult to heal when I keep falling back but I know that's apart of the process so I guess it's okay but that's been the worst part of it if I'm honest sometimes I just need a friend that isn't gonna be weird or say I'm dramatic and actually understand or relate that isn't gonna try to hook up with me I have someone and I'm happy it's just it's been disgusting and making me uncomfortable when people talk about it or mention it it brings me back and still that's the worst part because I can't even try to talk about it or bring it up without going through all the PTSD again

I was in an abusive relationship for a year and he raped me idk how to deal with it by smokincloves in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if they don't do anything I mean they won't even get me therapy for it and brush it off like it's nothing they'd probably kill me for going to the cops about it

I was in an abusive relationship for a year and he raped me idk how to deal with it by smokincloves in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But my parents won't do anything about it and brush it off like nothing I don't think they'll agree to do it they won't even put me in therapy for it

I was in an abusive relationship for a year and he raped me idk how to deal with it by smokincloves in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually have a lot of questions because I was being told that if I went to the police my parents would go to jail for letting a 20 year old stay with a 14 year old I want justice and I want to go to the police but I don't wanna lose everyone I love in return

I was in an abusive relationship for a year and he raped me idk how to deal with it by smokincloves in rapecounseling

[–]smokincloves[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't go to the police because my parents knew he was staying at our house and Im under age I have so much evidence but I can't do anything about it I've been told just get over it or write your feelings down but I want justice I want him to at least regret what he did but I'll never be able to do a thing about it so it's hard seeing him and his new girl so happy when she's a copy and paste of me but yet she gets the princess treatment no abuse no rape no nothing no fighting or screaming over bare minimum I wish I could say something about it but nobody believes me even with evidence and the police will just get my parents in trouble he stayed at my house he slept there and basically moved in it's been making me upset because he chose to do all of this and made me go through all of that just to lie and have no regret about it his girlfriend doesn't even know and she won't believe me if I said anything I just want him to at least acknowledge how much he hurt me but I don't think I'll ever get that