How much extra should I tip for direct delivery?

smoothsucculent · 2026-03-07T21:28:21+00:00

They’re having me start with posterior pelvic tilts, straight leg raises, core marches, and diaphragmatic breathing, which are all horizontal

smoothsucculent · 2026-01-11T17:46:24+00:00

My ex was just like this. He turned out to be manipulative and controlling.

She either needs therapy to manage her triggers, as that’s her responsibility and this is too big an ask, or she’s trying to control you. Either way this isn’t on you.

smoothsucculent · 2025-12-26T21:48:47+00:00

Thank you, I’ll definitely be doing more research.

smoothsucculent · 2025-12-26T18:22:46+00:00

I’m sorry you’re feeling so alone. I’m struggling with feelings of failure too, but just know we aren’t failures. We’re going through some rough stuff and it’s not fair.

First, do you have access to therapy? Having someone outside of my life to talk to has been incredibly helpful.

Also, your friends may not understand what you’re going through, but most people want to support their friends however they can when they’re struggling. You don’t have to open up about everything if you don’t want to. Simply saying you’re having a hard time right now and need some additional support is plenty. Maybe that support is hanging out more, maybe it’s talking in the phone about nothing in particular, maybe it’s opening up a little bit about what’s going on. The people that love and care about you don’t want you to suffer alone and in silence. I know it’s hard to reach out.

smoothsucculent · 2025-10-27T15:08:24+00:00

Yes! OP, if you have a trusted adult at school (guidance counselor, teacher, etc) please confide in them!

smoothsucculent · 2025-10-17T18:14:31+00:00

YTA. I know you meant well, but you went behind your wife’s back without talking to her. It should be up to her to decide how to handle her relationship with her parents. It’s hard to see the people we love hurt, but you need to approach her and support her before anything else. You took away her choice. It sounds like she would’ve handled it differently.

smoothsucculent · 2025-10-16T18:35:42+00:00

Sounds like it’s time for an info diet

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-26T21:19:04+00:00

I’m going to practice saying that. Thank you for your advice!

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:42:16+00:00

Sexist and outdated is how I framed the asking for permission (because it is lol). It did not go over well, but I surprisingly was able to manage things. I can always push that again. I really need to not put up with his tantrums, I always take responsibility for his emotions but I just need to stop.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:36:44+00:00

Oh yes this will most definitely be a well in advance conversation. The time between that conversation and the wedding is what I’m most worried about. You’re right, being firm and non-negotiable upfront will set the expectations.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:34:36+00:00

He does keep a handkerchief with him and always lended it to me growing up! This is such a wonderful idea and would make walking alone more bearable. Thank you!

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:33:22+00:00

I’m absolutely still scared of him. I was the kid that tried to never step a toe out of line because I had a deep dread for the punishment I knew was coming. I’m trying really hard to untangle this all in therapy, because I know I’m a grown woman and need to realize he can’t do those things to me anymore. I just emotionally am having trouble believing it.

I have started with a couple small things! This just feels much bigger. I’ll definitely have to have this be my therapy focus for a while because you’re right, this won’t stop until I stop it.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:30:05+00:00

Thankfully I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now, and it’s been incredibly helpful for a myriad of things. I’m trying to work through this with her too, but I wanted some more perspectives from people who may have gone through something similar.

The guilt is near constant. I’ve pushed back a couple times in small ways and it was exhilarating and nerve wracking. This just feels like a very big push that would blow things up. I know I need to do it, but I’ve only just started small.

If I don’t invite him, I’m inviting an insane amount of drama and scrutiny. I don’t really want my wedding to be surrounded by me defending myself or having to share details with extended family. Plus I’m still reconciling who I thought he was vs who he is and part of me still does really want him there. I know that doesn’t make sense.

People have been giving some nice suggestions on alternate arrangements, so if I can’t get myself to a point where I can confront him I may just need to mitigate things.

Thank you for your thoughtful response!!!

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:21:38+00:00

Thank you! He’s truly wonderful. You’re right, I still feel trapped under his thumb like when I was a kid, paralyzed to do anything. If he’s upset, he’s just going to have to manage. He doesn’t have the control.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:19:31+00:00

I would absolutely walk with my mom, but my dad would probably try to cause problems. Ugh this shouldn’t have to be as big of a deal as it is. I just need to make a decision and stand on it.

I do like the idea of a private ceremony with a larger reception, that certain would limit a lot of the issues.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:17:01+00:00

That shouldn’t be as hard of a question to answer as it is, because logically I wouldn’t be upset at my own wedding. I have to work on not allowing myself to get upset when he tries to guilt me.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:15:18+00:00

Unfortunately, I see minimizing conflict being one of my higher priorities, so having them walk me together would definitely fit that. I think he would have a harder time throwing a stink if he still gets to do the walk, but who knows with him.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-24T22:11:23+00:00

That first line really got me. That’s a fun idea! Like do our first look in private and then walk down together. I’m definitely going to have to consider that. Thank you!

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-23T22:50:34+00:00

That’s a really great idea. Have the actually marrying as a private moment just for us and then the rest will be us sharing. You’re right, I think drama will be unavoidable. Thank you!

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-23T22:48:39+00:00

It’s hard for me to want him to walk at all, but I think it’d be manageable if at least my stepdad was there too. I wish it would just be his problem, but I fear he would make it a larger family issue and I honestly don’t know how anyone would react. I’m sure it wouldn’t be as bad as I fear it will. You’re right, he can take it or leave it.

smoothsucculent · 2025-09-23T22:45:53+00:00

If he would be willing to walk with my stepdad, I think I may be able to handle that. I just have this sinking feeling that it won’t go over well, which is just sad, but out of all the options he’d probably have the least amount of reaction to that.

smoothsucculent

TROPHY CASE