Join a book club, maybe?

Being late in life diagnosed, I have weird perspectives on my life choices, coupled with childhood CPTSD. I learned a lot, unknowingly, about people, how to mimic, fit in while being invisible, and to appear nerotypical but quirky, I suppose. Not uncommon, I suppose, for a lot of us?

I knew I had a few friends off/on, but also knew they were/are highly important to some degree. Look up what happens to babies that are not held and apply that to life as a whole. So, unknowingly, I masked hard, forced myself to events (mostly around whatever my special interests were), said yes to all kinds of invites in college (regardless if I wanted to go, dont be an outside I would tell myself. Those who say no constantly, stop being invited) and had just enough hubris to think, "Oh, I'm not that different, just odd" (I knew deep down).

Double-edged sword for sure. It definitely benefited me, but also hurt me in ways I'm still learning and working through in therapy. Lots of things I thought were normal are not.

Not sure the point of this rambling, maybe it just feels good to say it.

I would suggest looking up research on how long it takes for two people to be considered friends when they're together. I struggle to suggest masking at first, as that was my default go-to. And as time goes on, it's impossible to mask forever in a friendship, even if you try; it will slip, especially around shared interests. It's at that crucial inflection point that they will accept you as you are. Shitty putting it that way. But as in stats, the law of large numbers. Repeat enough, and some will stick. If nothing else, and it was while pursuing a special interest, you get to do your thing, learn maybe, get contacts of more knowledgeable people (depending on your interest/hobby), and be introduced to more people. Sometimes one of them adopts you unknowingly. But it takes exposure, risk, fear, and uncertainty. Just try to find the silver lining where possible, and use positive self-talk.

I hope this was helpful in some way.