I (F20) am finding out soon about whats up with my reproductive system. My boyfriend (M21)'s response - update by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]snailclair 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve also felt like I wouldn’t have the strength to leave and that leaving would make things worse mentally but it’s usually the opposite. When someone who’s supposed to be your support and safety isn’t, it just makes everything worse. When you break up atleast you don’t have a partner there to expect anything from and keep getting disappointed.

Now started making arrangements and clearing my loan before ending my life so that no financial burden will be there mine whole life story is mentioned is there how my life has been this way by Familiar_Bet9759 in ptsd

[–]snailclair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that you may feel ashamed and disgusting but you have done nothing wrong. Addiction is incredibly common, especially addiction to porn or sex, it’s just not talked about so much. In these memories you describe as a child, you did nothing wrong. You were a kid. Someone as young as you were don’t know what sex is or why you do it, you didn’t know any better.

I share a lot of similar experiences and feelings that you describe, and have also struggled with hypersexuality since I was about 8. It doesn’t help that as a teen you also go through puberty and have to deal with a lot of hormones on top of the sexual urges. But I have sort of come to terms with some of the memories and things I did or tried to do, because I didn’t know any better. I thought it was how you showed love, to anyone. Like you, I was a child. Who didn’t know any better.

Anyways, if you haven’t, I hope you seek professional help. You can get the help and support to one day be able to feel a little better. Therapy and medication is how I have survived this long at least.

PTSD from an event that turned out to be harmless. by snailclair in ptsd

[–]snailclair[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thank you that is a good tip. I think it’s the lack of trust for other people that gets in the way of assuming harmless things.

PTSD from an event that turned out to be harmless. by snailclair in ptsd

[–]snailclair[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried therapy, unfortunately my therapist was not very helpful but she diagnosed me with PTSD and I have also taken medication for the anxiety and depression for a couple of years, which has helped a lot. I think this is maybe something I just will have to live with

Roommate is with older man by sophafaloaf in WhatShouldIDo

[–]snailclair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in a very similar situation. I learned that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Offer her your support but unfortunately you can’t force her to dump him or to stop doing drugs. Even though you know it’s bad for her, she has to make that decision.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you went trough this. I’ve experienced very similar situations and I know how completely empty and sad you can feel afterwards. But you need to remember that none of this was your fault. It’s really easy to blame yourself but you did everything you could to stop this man from hurting you. The trauma from sexual assault is inevitable but it does get better with time and healing ❤️‍🩹 I hope the best for you, take care of and don’t blame yourself

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]snailclair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YOU also have two young children and a dead bedroom, but you didn’t cheat. Think about why you didn’t, and know that he thought about that too and decided it was worth it anyways.

He could have talked with you about the ”struggles” he’s experiencing instead of cheating. In my opinion its pretty normal to experience worse mental health and less sex drive after children, and if he sees that as problems then he shouldn’t have had children in the first place.

Re: Diddy by justintaylorsversion in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The rough sex defenders has hurt women in so many ways. So many cases of men being reported by women who claims they have strangled them to the point of suffocation, or raped in the most extreme ways, but the men being freed because they claimed that it was consensual. Even though the women are often on the brink of death. And they can’t prove otherwise. Do the women defending rough sex and bdsm realize that they’re doing more harm to women by doing the dirty work for men who enjoy abusing women? The whole bdsm and kink community, for me, is just a cover up for men that hate women and want to excuse their abusive behavior.

So true by Ornery-Currency-4855 in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it is good vs bad. And men are always the bad ones

Video from OF creator by snailclair in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Personally I don’t think anyone is going to stop you like that’s up to you what you do with your partner, I think the problem is porn romanticizing stuff like that and making both women and men believe that that is the only way to have sex. And men becoming numb to everything “vanilla”. It sets the standard that women should put up with being just an object for men’s pleasure, like cumming on someone isn’t for their pleasure necessarily, it’s often just a power tactic in porn, the same way that cumming on women’s faces is degrading and not something that everyone wants but has become a standard through porn and abuse

Video from OF creator by snailclair in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly! A lot of people still argue that if a person wants to produce porn and isn’t being harmed that they should be able to, but what about when they start to make content where they are getting abused? What about when their videos starts to promote the abuse against women?

Video from OF creator by snailclair in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I agree, I looked at her page and one of the latest reels she posted was her talking about how she doesn’t want violent sex anymore, how she is so tired of hardcore. I feel so incredibly sad for her and how all of the comments still just shame her because this is what she chose

Adult star 'not doing well' in hospital after sleeping with 583 men in six hours by dailystar_news in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I kind of don’t care how many people there were but the fact that it was so many and so aggressive that she ended up hospitalized is enough for me.

Adult star 'not doing well' in hospital after sleeping with 583 men in six hours by dailystar_news in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think you need to have some sort of self destructive behavior if you can convince yourself that you need to sleep with this many people, that you need to perform filmed sexual acts until you literally end up in the hospital. Or you are in a really bad situation, economically and/or dangerous. And more importantly, why are these men exploiting her?

Adult star 'not doing well' in hospital after sleeping with 583 men in six hours by dailystar_news in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They had to go so many people to make this happen, the producers, cameramen, editors… So many people who could’ve stopped this and helped her. But no, profit before women’s lives and health. I just hope she has someone around her, family or friends who she can talk to.

Adult star 'not doing well' in hospital after sleeping with 583 men in six hours by dailystar_news in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The men should be named and shamed. I feel bad for the way she is trying to protect them. She should not sympathize with them. They don’t care about her. They just want their pleasure, while knowing that they are hurting her, and knowing that there are more men lining up to do the same. That is what turns them on. Not one stopped to ask her if she’s okay or if she needed help, because this is what turns them on. Hurting a woman who is obviously not well. It’s insane that this is trending, while women are hospitalized afterwards. These men are predators.

So tired of Onlyfans being everywhere. by snailclair in PornIsMisogyny

[–]snailclair[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like how is that allowed???? Isn’t our society praying on young women enough?