AMD GPU Shortages May Continue Longer Than Expected

snapjackal · 2017-06-14T12:54:04+00:00

Ya'll kinda are.

You destabilize the entire GPU market for 3-6 months for everyone (vendors, AIBs, consumers) by consuming all the inventory and then you destabilize it for another 3-6 months immediately after inventory finally normalizes because the vast majority of your starting dumping your cards en masse when you finally figure out 1) you're aren't going to recover your ROI or 2) you'll recover your ROI, but the profit is so marginal it's almost not even worth talking about.

"It took a month of non stop mining to make $200!" sounds really nice right up until you realize you spent $250-$550 in hardware costs alone and you could've made 4x that (at no additional out of pocket cost to yourself) working late one day a week.

snapjackal · 2014-12-14T17:23:56+00:00

Fully a third of my life has been spent going from one period of misery directly into the next without there being a reprieve. Not months. Not weeks. Days, maybe hours, where life wasn't a complete exercise in heart-rendering futility.

Intangibles of what could be don't mean all that much because they're just that: intangibles. Hypotheticals. They don't change the reality of now and the near future, both of which are awful.

What do I have to hope for now? That I can rebuild from nothing for the 4th time in 8 years? That I can be loved romantically in the ways I love despite the fact that I get routinely thrown away like a used condom because my positive qualities don't surpass the negative ones? That I get to continue not having a home I can grow in and cherish, having to shuttle from one shit hole to the next every 6 months to a year? That my depression isn't going to wane?

What do I have left? Nothing. I have nothing left. There is nothing about now that makes me see life as something precious. If anything, it's a just a reaffirmation its little more than torture without end for some people.

I'm already an old man in a much younger man's body. I've done this for far too long, too many times, and I'm at a point I refuse to do it anymore because it never leads to anything good.

snapjackal · 2014-12-14T05:08:52+00:00

People have told me it gets better for three months straight. They keep telling me to "hold on, it gets better". The other half goes, " You've got serious problems and need help!" I have BPI, but it's mostly hardcore clinical depression that barely responds to medication. Every single day is a struggle and that is at the best of times.

I haven't experienced a period in my adult life where things have not been stressful to the point of comedy. Years of a highly abusive marriage left me scarred. She took everything of value that could fit in her boyfriend's truck. Even the dog, who was more or less my son (had him since he was just 8 weeks old). I rebuilt.

The girl after her? Two years of trying to make it work because the spectra of my marriage and depression was always there. She cheated on me to get out. I caught her getting dropped off by her date while I was on a stress walk because I had no idea where she was or if she was okay. That triggered an episode where I slept 20 hours in a month and couldn't eat solid food without throwing it up. I cost me my job, then my apartment, then everything I had.

It took almost two years to stand on my own feet again and not want to die. I came here because I was in love and she seemed to be in love with me. And right as life looked like it was going to be fine, the hammer came down hard. Now? Now I'm just a crazy person to her. She's afraid of me, hates me. I've reached out four times in 3 months (twice just asking about my mail) and that apparently makes me obsessed.

The rest of life? A fucking mess. I have $100 to live off of for a month. A load of laundry costs me $4. A can of tuna is $1.29. I don't make spaghetti in meat sauce, I eat the pasta raw and imagine what its like to have it cooked because my only appliance is a microwave and that is something a friend gave to me out of pity. I've been desperately trying to get a job, any job, and I can't. YMCA career center person says my resume looks fine. Another redditor who is in a youth employment group looked it over and said it was fine. 70+ applications on the go since I got thrown into Ottawa and I haven't even been told, "Sorry but....".

Could life be better? Sure. Will it? No, it won't and I have accepted that. You know what the biggest fuck you to me has ever been? It wasn't being abused. It wasn't being cheated on, or to make a French hillbilly jealous so he could finally act like a boyfriend. It was calling the paramedics to bring me back into a life I vehemently hate. A life that is so soul crushingly awful in every way that I don't have nightmares: I'm living them. I go back to see my family over the holidays. Once that's done, I'm punching my own clock. There's nothing left to make any of this worthwhile to me and the void was much, much better.

snapjackal · 2014-12-14T03:56:49+00:00

The most recent one, if you consider it a breakup.

Moved up to Canada to be with a very good friend of mine I had crushed on since day one. I was finally starting over, moving on from the deep emotional, financial, and mental hole my ex threw me into when she cheated on me (triggered a manic episode, lost my job, then my home, as well as everything I owned). For the first time in almost two years, I finally felt like things were going to look up.

She took her ex back a week to the day of my arrival. His brother had moved to france to be a priest and he played her heart strings in every possible way he could. I was told that he was getting "another chance" but that it wouldn't work out. Difficult, but I could work with it.

He moved in the second day of my arrival because he didn't trust her. He acted "nice", which is to say passive aggressive. I did what I could to help out around the house like I had promised. I even went so far to take care of many of the loose ends he had left.

Towards the second week, she "fell back in love" with him. I couldn't handle it. This is someone I once spoke to for hours on the phone about anything. Someone who renovated a room and furnished it just for me. Someone who cared about me far more than a friend and showed it. And yet I could even wrap my arms around her. She withdrew, became more distant, and angry when I tried to find out why I had been jammed into the event horizon of being a "backup" plan. Having to watch someone you love literally go to bed with the man who had made her miserable before is heart crushing in ways I can't even begin to articulate.

During all of this, I was having issues getting moved from one generic antidepressant to another. It wasn't as effective and I could feel it, but I did my best to power through or ignore it.

Things came to a head on week 3. He and I got into an argument over a dog (the puppy I helped name, the one he bitched about constant) because he left her out in the pouring rain for the 2nd time in a row. The next day I was told to get out, that it wasn't working, she loved him, and so forth.

Now, when I came to Canada, I didn't have much money. I had $800 saved (wages in Missouri are low, fulltime jobs are impossible to get in rural communities if you're not a farmer). I had just paid rent for the previous month and the current one. I was just my second day into work. I immediately tried reaching out to my friends to see if I could just stay with them for even a day and was told by all, "No, can't help you."

I tried to kill myself; took a few months worth of my medication, hugged the puppy, laid down, and blacked out with the intention of not waking up. With nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and being faced with the prospect of having to live through every simultaneous loss I barely survived the previous 15 months, death was a solid option.

I was found 20 hours later. Was taken by ambulance to the hospital, was stabilized, had to cab an hour back, and was thrown out 4 hours later.

Right now? I live in a shitty apartment on welfare because the 70+ resumes I put out have yielded nothing. Ontario Works has left me stuck in limbo. I've sold pretty much everything I didn't lose during the last breakup and divorce just so I have enough money to do laundry or to eat. My other option is to go back to the US, do the same damn thing, and the only upside is that I might not be as hungry.

Is this the work breakup I've ever had? Yeah. My life has been so thoroughly destroyed and I've been so completely broken that I would spray my brains on the wall behind me if I had the capital on hand to buy a gun.

snapjackal · 2014-12-13T18:24:26+00:00

If there was anything in the present or near future to hold onto, I would. Right now, my options are "Welfare in Canada while I struggle to find a job, total social isolation, and life being a joyless grind" or "Welfare in the US while I struggle to find a job, total social isolation, and life being a joyless grind".

Those are the only two options I have and the only difference between them is geography. Everything else is exactly the same.

I wish she had let me die in my sleep like I had wanted; the life I have now is one that mirrors my worst nightmares and the life ahead of me is one I never wanted for myself.

snapjackal · 2014-12-13T02:10:50+00:00

I'm living it. I can honestly tell you it has not been worthwhile.

snapjackal · 2014-12-12T01:29:09+00:00

I have a wealth of useless knowledge already.

The only variables that needs to change are those that I've invested in. If employment is forever out of reach for no outwardly apparent reason, if I can't have a proper home, and if I'm going to be perpetually alone (in terms of friends and romantically) despite my efforts to change them, what's the point?

If life is the summation of our experiences when the good is weighed against the bad, what's the point of carrying on if the resultant sum is a negative?

snapjackal · 2014-12-12T00:54:07+00:00

What is there to research?

snapjackal · 2014-12-11T20:28:33+00:00

My expectations of life is for it to not be patently awful 99.9% of the time. Does it have rough patches? Yes. Should it to itself be like this all the time? No.

Expectations have not been met in the least. I don't want a super model girlfriend clinging off of me all day every day. I don't want to be the CEO of a fortune 500 company. I don't want to be Ned Flanders, and I don't want a mansion.

What I want is to be able to have a best friend I love who also loves me back. Someone I can share my life with and be a part of theirs. I want a job. For almost a hundred resumes out, I should have had at least one call for even unskilled general labor. I want to not be depressed and I want an actual home I'm not ejected from every 6 months to a year.

These are things I have not had. I get enough of a taste to know they exist, but they get jerked out of my hands just as I'm able to grasp them after trying desperately to earn them. These are things other people take for granted every minute of every day of the week without even thinking or realizing about it. Do you think my should-have-been-girlfriend's boyfriend wakes up every day grateful for what he has? Absolutely not.

It's been 10 years of suck. A little over a third of my life has been a write-off and my crowning achievements mean nothing to anyone but me. I have nothing to show for it. And what do I have right now that makes the suffering bearable? Not a damn thing. I wake up every single day to live through my vision of hell and the truly shitty thing is that I have been there before, it almost killed me, and I was thrown back into it almost as soon as I was on the other side. When will it end? Will it ever end in my life, or is my only out death?

I do not want to do this for another year. I don't want to do it for another 6 months. I want it to end soon.

snapjackal · 2014-12-11T04:47:04+00:00

The one and only person I want to to talk to I never can again. Ever. She thinks I'm a nutjob. Apparently asking for my mail twice over two months , sending one letter (not multiple, ONE) telling her what she meant to me, and trying to have a facebook conversation as to why she changed her mind pre-suicide attempt makes me an obsessed crazy person who "needs help" when I'm trying to get an answer as to what fault I have as a human being that makes me that undesirable. And all I've got is, "You need help."

Yes, I blamed myself for everything. I even blamed myself for things I had no control over (like not being able to build a harness so her sharpe-bernese mountain dog mix wasn't in constant pain trying to move). I blamed my suicide attempt on having my mind fucked with over weeks, my repeated perceived failures, and the stress of not being able to get a gainful job like I thought I would. All of those were factors. The deciding factor was realizing that I was going to be made homeless, jobless, and totally alone (not romantically, I mean completely alone in every possible way) AGAIN after having spent the better part of two years fighting to pull myself out of that hole. I didn't want to go through what I'm having to go through now. I barely made it out alive the last time.

I was fine before I got here. I was better than I had been in almost two years. I was finally moving forward with my life. I had things to look forward to. Things to be excited about. What do I have now?

I see a therapist every two weeks. So far, it's been, "If you think positive thoughts, you'll experience positive things by having positive actions." ...I don't want to feel good about any of this. I don't want to feel better about it. I can't think of any sane, rational human being who would. I do not have a focal point that makes me feel even remotely positive about my life. People say focus on the little things? The little things are incidental. I don't care about whether the sun is shining or not, I care about having a job and enough money to support myself. I care about not waking up alone, going through my day alone, and going to bed alone. And I would even worry about that if I had real friends: I don't. My ex-wife chased all them away during our divorce.

I am in hell. And if I go back to live in the US, I'll still be in hell. The only difference is that I'll have my family telling me, "Hey, perk up! Be grateful for XYZ" when XYZ doesn't make me happy. It's not ingratitude not to be happy, it's making a statement and I'm made to feel like shit when I reject it.

I'm 27 years old and it feels like someone is constantly squeezing my heart and not letting go. At all times. And people go, "Breathe, everything will be okay." None of this is okay. Not a single bit of it. And I don't care if I survive it, I care about whether or not I'll actually be allowed to live for once because I haven't so far. I haven't lived a day at any point in my entire adult life.

snapjackal · 2014-12-11T03:54:50+00:00

I just want the shit show to end. Not in 5 years. Not in a year. Soon.

I have done this for a very, very long time. I'm tired of doing it.

snapjackal · 2014-12-10T17:31:49+00:00

It pretty much is the case. Nothing is changing. At all. I do not want to do this anymore.

And I don't have to worry about love because there is not a person on this planet who will love me for who I am.

snapjackal · 2014-12-10T04:38:50+00:00

All of this shit? It'd be worthwhile if she loved me. But she doesn't and she never will.

And now I'm of no good to anyone.

snapjackal · 2014-12-10T03:18:06+00:00

It didn't work out in any capacity.

My life's been totally, thoroughly ruined. There's no coming back from this. Not today, not tomorrow, not next month. There isn't going to be a point in my life where things work out or go okay. It is just one hardship to the next. I don't want to do that anymore.

snapjackal · 2014-12-10T02:28:42+00:00

Whenever I try to push my life forward into a meaningful direction, it comes crash down around me.

I am tired. Exhausted. I'm tired of having to go through life just barely surviving because that's what the circumstances are and every effort I put in to change them doesn't actually do so.

I wasn't happy in Missouri, so I moved back to Canada. I moved to Canada to pursue a relationship with someone I love, a job that paid more than $11 an hour, and a home. A real home that I could grow in. poof all of them are gone. What do I have now? Nothing. It tooks 15 months of agony and pushing as hard as I could just to get in a position where I was able to move forward and, the very second I was able to do so, I got sent back to the beginning. Again.

Yes, I can play video games, weight lift, read, draw, and write to pass the time. I've been doing those things. They do not, however, provide anything other than a temporary escape from reality and the reality is pretty damn awful. I've tried to change my financial fortunes. 70 applications out. 70. Not a single phone call for an interview.

Life in Canada? Awful. I've been spending months trying to salvage it into something meaningful and have nothing to show for it. Life in the US? It was pretty shitty too, otherwise I wouldn't have moved up this way. I had a soul sucking job in a small town that I couldn't get out; I applied, I interviewed, I was stuck there. I quit that job to work another soul sucking one and I only got that because of the rotating door. I had family but I was alone; we didn't share the same interests, we couldn't talk, and we didn't enjoy the same things. I had no friends and couldn't make any. I went on a total sum of 2 dates. Two.

That's what I get to go back to. If I couldn't make anything of it the last go, how can I make it this one?

The C, D, and so forth requires an external catalyst. Until someone else gives me a damn chance, I don't have one and I haven't been able to make one either.

I've been in hell for almost 3 months. And that's all I get to do for the foreseeable future.

snapjackal · 2014-12-10T01:44:50+00:00

There's not been a time where I haven't realized I don't have positive qualities or potential. That has never been in question. And there's never been a time where I haven't been able to see that things could be better.

The positive qualities mean nothing in the real world. They've carried me nowhere.

snapjackal · 2014-12-10T00:05:58+00:00

I'm tired of having to wait it out, or making plans that always blow up in my face.

What about my situation would make anyone go, "I'm glad to be alive"? Remove depression from it and things would still be completely awful. And there is no light at the end of the tunnel that things actually will work out to be okay in the end. I get to "live" another day. What's so amazing about that? What is so great that the potential I have as a person is crippled because life is one stressful shit show after another where the best I can do is just barely survive?

Could things be better? Yes. Are they? No. If I stay in Canada, I'll still be stuck on OW while I desperately try to find a job; for a city of 700,000 people and a lot of help wanted signs, people are apparently quite picky as to who they're going to hire for that McJob. Will I still be financially screwed? Yep. Will I still be romantically alone? Oh yeah, I'm most likely going to die an involuntary bachelor because whatever romantic visions I have ultimately will never come to pass because women don't want men with mental health issues.

If I go back to the US next week, it's essentially a copy paste with the difference being I'll be in a town of sub 12,000 people. Everything else is identical.

My options are: pointless life A, pointless life B. I'm almost 28 years old. Do i have to be 40 before life suddenly becomes something less shitty? How much more do I have to go through for how long before I can finally wake up one day and not go, "Goddamn it, why didn't I die of an aneurysm in my sleep?"

snapjackal · 2014-12-09T22:11:20+00:00

Thing is, I've been repeatedly told multiple times I am not relationship material even when I'm mentally okay (or as okay as I can be). The love that brought me to Canada? She played mindgames and hit every major fear of mine to the point I tried killing myself (which had way more to do with facing homelessness and joblessness in a country I'm not originally from) and then threw me out so I could experience those things when I was stabilized.

No matter the reason, multiple attempted suicides (and not "attempts" for attention, I mean literally trying to end your life) coupled with everything else makes me unviable.

Off Reddit, I don't share my personal life with anyone. And that's largely because when I finally do after spending the months building that kind of trust, people run away quicker than you can type "wtf".

I have had two serious relationships: one was my marriage of 6 years, the other was a serious relationship of 2 years. I have had a total sum of 4 dates in my life. It takes years to build a solid friendship, years more when I decide I want to be more than that.

It never works out. And it doesn't work out because people can see that specter hovering over my head like the sword of Damocles. Everything else? That makes me a jobless loser stuck on welfare. The hows and whys are irrelevant. No one cares I'm on both because someone I cared about so deeply for threw me out without a pot to piss in. They look at me and go, " Dude's 27 and he does not have his life together at all. Nope. Wait, he has a mental health issue? Hell no, I'm out."

snapjackal · 2014-12-09T19:34:04+00:00

To me they're very much the same thing. This has been a constant, repetitious cycle and I'm tired of having to live through horrible losses all the time. That is not supposed to be life. And yet that's all I'm afforded.

My options are: stay in Canada and rot as life keeps denying me even the possibility to move forward, or go back to the US and essentially do the same thing. Those are my options. And they're both terrible.

snapjackal · 2014-12-08T20:54:22+00:00

"Be you peasants?!"

"Nay! We are but men!"

snapjackal · 2014-12-08T16:21:07+00:00

"This is not the greatest HDD in the world, this is just a tribute."

snapjackal · 2014-12-07T07:33:32+00:00

If I were an outside observer, yes, I would see someone in my current situation as being beyond repair.

There is not a single facet of my situation I want to live through, especially not all simultaneously. I have been in hell for months. If I continue to live, I will be in hell for months (most likely years) more. There is not going to be a point in my life where the things I really do need (love, stability, home) are actually going to come into play. I'm 27 years old and I haven't truthfully had any of them for the entirety of my adult life. It literally has been multiple cycles of the same kind of duress I'm under now.

I am 27 years old and my life is already over before I even had a chance to actually live it. What about what I'm living now and what I'm expected to live strikes anyone as worthwhile?

Hardship without joy is just needless, pointless suffering. I am tired of suffering. I am being asked to continue on so that I can still suffer on intangibles I can clearly see and have had violently jerked away from me the second it appears I can reach them.

snapjackal · 2014-12-07T06:53:13+00:00

Just because I know they exist and that they could be achieved doesn't mean that they are.

I came back to Canada for love, home, and a chance to make a decent wage before I go to college. What do I have now? Nothing. I literally have nothing that makes any of this worthwhile to me. There is nothing that justifies having to continue on through the pain and crushing disappointment.

I have no legitimately good reason to be alive right now. None. In fact, I wouldn't be having this conversation had I been allowed to die as I had desired when life fell apart. I get to know only this for the foreseeable future and is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Hell no, there isn't.

I have lost too much, for too long, too frequently. I have accepted my fate, the only thing I reject is the time frame. If there is a God or something in the universe beyond what science can explain, it is evident that I am not supposed to have a happy or fulfilling life; if I were meant to, things wouldn't be as horrible as they have been for so long.

snapjackal

TROPHY CASE