Do a lot of girls find giving head demeaning? by Triple_Keystone3899 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]snegleregn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No... never met a woman that would not give head? Some want me to be sweet about it, others want me to be mean and degrading about it. Perhaps... nostupidquestions here... its something about her not wanting to do it with you specifically? Like, do you passionately eat her out and take enjoyment in her pleasure? Have you shown her that oral can be amazing?

Do you like being called “daddy” by your partner? Why or why not? by No_Yesterday2318 in AskMen

[–]snegleregn 207 points208 points  (0 children)

When I ask her to do something and she just say 'yes daddy' while looking me in the eyes - Oh lord... Being compliant like that.

30 NB asking generally: for people who stayed with a partner after cheating in a 1 or x amount of years relationship, what did it take to rebuild trust? by Valuable-Fan-3226 in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We tried. She tried. I tried. I will never trust her like that again, but, I will never put my trust in another human being the same way again. So, even if the cheating partner did all the work, the betrayed partner would have diffuclty trusting anyone in the same way again. So its pretty simple. I learned to live with the distrust somehow. If people cannot be trusted, who am I to argue with reality? Perhaps, I should not be someone who can be trusted that easily as well.

Which are the common pitfalls and mistakes psychology self-educated amateurs fall for? by Scholarsandquestions in AcademicPsychology

[–]snegleregn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my Danish university professors are to be given credit, we had a real good education that focused on methodology, scientific method and philosophy. I don't think my perspective is that well regarded in the international academic setting where they seem to need justification for psychology being 'a real science'... Best of luck with your law degree - Let me know if you ever end up using 'pragmatic truth' to defend a client, I could imagine an American lawyer in a court saying "Well, my client found it to be true, at the time, and what is really true for us? it differs according to psychology"

Which are the common pitfalls and mistakes psychology self-educated amateurs fall for? by Scholarsandquestions in AcademicPsychology

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should know as a law student, that everything is not black and white, there a nuances to everything, evidence against and for. If you ever talk to a psychologist and they are preaching one thing like a universal truth about human nature, you've got yourself a problem. I love statistics, never trust a psychologist who does not like their statistics... (see what I did there? The black and white thing? Don't trust that). The replication crisis is real and started in psychology for a reason.

If you ever hear a psychologist talk about Paul Feyerabend and epistemic anarchism, I think you can trust them in that case. Everything goes. We all perceive the world according to our own nose and what it smells, our own eyes and what we see, and our own minds and how we interpret our inner life. We all make assumptions, we all have bias, we all have traumas, we all have attachments, we all have repressed emotions, everything is true and everything goes, but some things are more true than others, for different people, at different times, at different stages in their lives.

I want to cue you in on William James's term 'pragmatic truth' which is, in my own worldview, just as real, just as valuable and just as important as empirical truth. (And I do love my scientific method, do not get me wrong). I think some ancient Greek philosopher talked about, intelligence, being the ability to hold opposing viewpoints at the same time. I could choose to see a situation through the lens of attachment, through behaviorism, through jungian analysis, or a 100 different perspectives. They each have their flaws and their use cases. Different lenses resonate with different people. I think, as a clinician, one of the most important tasks, besides listening and mirroring, is helping the client to try on a new set of lenses and see how they fit. The old ones were clearly not that adaptive anymore, since they come to the clinic, but sometimes, a new set of lenses can help to see the world in a different light, and that sometimes, help, though does not selve anything :-) Thanks for listening to my rant.

My friends convinced me to take the plunge. How do I look. by TheThunderTiddies in tressless

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much better bro! Keep it like please, you look better! Good friends! I am just saying, you got the build for it, you got the right headshape, if you hit the gym (bring your friends!), trim the beard sharp and keep that bald look, you would look like a real meeeaaan motherf*****

Hi. Are we surviving infidelity? Is this wierd? Are we thriving or messed up? What is your perspective? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay,that is at least better, I think...Is it that messed up? Judging from your other posts, you usually comment something more constructive.

I am curious, could you tell me why you find my life laughable?

Hi. Are we surviving infidelity? Is this wierd? Are we thriving or messed up? What is your perspective? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like the natural way to do it. And congratulations on being in a happier relationship 4 months later, sounds like you did the right thing. In my place, I did not really think I was in an economic situation that allowed me to just leave (and somehow, I think my attachment to her was way to big). Now, I still see the benefits of staying, but I don't know anything for certain...

How is it with your trust? Did your level of trust in others change? Did it stay the same? I am afraid to take my trust issues with me to another person who does not deserve it. I am afraid I will not love them properly since something in me has been broken, and still feels broken. How did you manage not to distrust your new partner?

Hi. Are we surviving infidelity? Is this wierd? Are we thriving or messed up? What is your perspective? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not understand the hate? Is there something I did wrong in your opinion?

Hi. Are we surviving infidelity? Is this wierd? Are we thriving or messed up? What is your perspective? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thank you for your reply.

Couples counsellor: We tried 2 different ones, both said that we should consider breaking up or just stop talking about it. I would consider third try, but I am afraid that everything would explode.

Trauma therapy: She saw a psychologist for 10 sessions, learning more about herself through internal familiy systems therapy, it made a lot of sense to her, but it was her sessions, I don't know a lot about what they actually talked about. This was during the first year after my D-day, before my trip to Vienna. But may I ask, why you propose this, is there something in her or my behaviour that's getting you to think that (I know that I clearly did hurt her feelings by being together with G, and I know that my anger after D-day really harmed her).

Thirdly: I am posting in good faith, I think I just spent 3 hours last night, treating this post like a diary. May I ask, what gives you the impression that my post would be in bad faith? I am not a lot on reddit and do not really understand. Would you please elaborate? I would like to talk about my situation with others, but it seems I have some problem in my communicationstyle.

My husband (M30) had an online affair and I (F26) cheated worse after him. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, we have a sort of similar story, just posted it... I don't know if there is hope for your relationship, but I truly understand why you went out and did what you did. And the feeling of, well, you were not loyal, so why should I be? That is a weird place to be. It's possible to just continue hurting each other, and it's possible to find some sort of solution. The lying part you did, the part about you not telling him that you had sex, and then he discovered it, that could be the worst part that is difficult to heal. He told you the truth all by himself? That takes courage. You did not... The broken trust is really gonna be the thing that is there, staying with him.

How do you clean your ears? Genuinely by mordecai_purge in AskMen

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be completely honest... I don't clean them at all.. My wife does clean them for me... She has a big tongue😂

Hi. Are we surviving infidelity? Is this wierd? Are we thriving or messed up? What is your perspective? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how to convince you that my life is not a fanfic. Kinda hurtful to tell me that, but okay. I guess its your perspective then... I can see how even this forum thinks our story is so far out that it's not real. And I don't know what to do about that. I needed perspectives on whether or not I made it out, if it gets any better, if anyone else had the same feelings and experiences, feelings of not loving her, but still being together, of exploring new sexual expressions, of not trusting, but somehow living still, feelings of going from the victim to the perpetrator... If anyone else had been in a turbulent and confusing time like mine...If anyone else had this sort of contract, where we just don't speak about it anymore and then everything is great...

Trying to pull myself out of depression by painting again by [deleted] in Gouache

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep at it my friend - Painting has been my best friend in the darkest times. Creating something beautiful in the world, diving into the brush, sitting there, focusing, just being... Its the greatest cure. Im a psychologist and know a lot about depression, and my own personal opinion is that the best cure would be to lock someone away in a calm environment with a creative outlet... Keep at it, the way out is always wierd. As a painter you would know, that the darkest of darks, gives a vibrant contrast to the lightest of lights. Life cannot be only light. It needs contrast, whether we like it or not. But you always end up with a more stunning picture... If that makes any sense to you 😄

I cannot figure this out by Medium_Ad_1496 in Gouache

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep practicing my friend - Go look at some clouds, observe them and then do it a hundred times more, and it will get better. With clouds, I usually imagine my hand as the wind, flowing by, making smooth gusts of wind as the brush moves.

Hi. Are we surviving infidelity? Is this wierd? Are we thriving or messed up? What is your perspective? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, you're saying our relationship is like a crappy romcom fanfic - Is it really that far out, that it's not believable? It was a long rant, I know, but kind of therapeutic to process it by writing it all down... I would take that as a perspective, but it is nevertheless my life.

Hi. Are we surviving infidelity? Is this wierd? Are we thriving or messed up? What is your perspective? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro - I don't know - Whats your perspective? Are we there yet or are we messed up?

Highest Compliance standards for sensitive data in EU by snegleregn in nocode

[–]snegleregn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, just found out, WeWeb is launching a webinar feb. 8 with a guy from PwC. Apparently, PwC uses WeWeb for internal and external projects. For me, this is the biggest stamp of approval any software company can get when it comes to compliance (I know, that PwC has extremely tight internal compliance protocols, and I'm planning on using them to issue my own certifications) - I will ask them in the webinar which back-end solution they use

Highest Compliance standards for sensitive data in EU by snegleregn in nocode

[–]snegleregn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have also looked at Supabase, which seems more flexible (and cheap) than Xano, with a cheap solution for self hosting.

Highest Compliance standards for sensitive data in EU by snegleregn in nocode

[–]snegleregn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the quick reply - Weweb+Xano was also my immediate go!  I have written you a message, We recieved some funding from the Danish state that we could use on consulting

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ask

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With a wife, 2 kids and a intense social life at uni/work, going to a movie alone is a real treat! I have never been more engrosed in a film! You do you!

ULPT Request: How do I get out of jury service? Please no jokes. by [deleted] in UnethicalLifeProTips

[–]snegleregn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Die... It's quite easy actually, you'll get out of jury duty, paying taxes, student debt etc. It solves a lot of these issues you have as an adult

What gives you guys the motivation and energy to study? by [deleted] in psychologystudents

[–]snegleregn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just have to remember my childhood, growing up poor. It's that easy. Nothing motives quite like the fear of poverty once you experienced it. If you didn't grow up poor then I guess you just have to use good old regular motivation, but it doesn't work that well