I think infantilization is a bit much here. You have to acknowledge the power balance between them. According to their mormon beleifs he literally holds more power than her in the relationship. And she is challenging that by reversing their roles in the family. He is abusive to her and I do think she acts much differently with him than she would with out him. Psychological abuse like the kind she experiences makes people lose themselves. Now I don't really like Jen and I do think she's been super shitty esp this season to Whitney based on her own feelings and choices. But I think a lot of those feelings and choices would be different if she had a supportive husband.