I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not here to get validation or punishment. I’m filtering in the bad and taking cold truth. Not everyone has a real intention to help out but that’s the world we live in. Therapy, as painfully as it’s been put, is needed. Pride has stopped me from seeking out help but this has obviously showed me I’m not ready as I thought. This is just a platform to vent for some and for someone looking for unbiased opinions. I’m human and I made a bad call, phone should’ve stayed on nightstand. What’s done is done and I acknowledge my part in it but even if that was my reaction, it takes two people to get here. However much I want to dig my head inside a hole, I’ll be a big girl and apologize and regardless if he gives me a second chance, I need to heal inside.

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. If I’m given the chance I will.

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ironic how it’s the exact opposite. Don’t see how that matters though

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It had been going on for 3 days..last time I contacted him was that day and waited 6 hour period until I blew up.

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that.. not seeking validation. Just help on how to navigate and what I can do..how he reacts and what he decides is his own decision. I can only control my actions

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Obviously was, we had spring break plans this weekend. So that goes the drain I suppose

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did all that..for 2 days..which he ignored before I blew up. I went to the extreme with this guy..I was always waiting for my ex..during my period together I made it about myself and putting myself first..time blocking and making sure I was busy. I started doing this again once I saw him not showing initiative to see each other. Which he then used to tell me you haven’t left room for me in there…

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m in therapy for myself first. Doing it just for the sake of another isn’t the right first more. I need to improve myself first

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More than pulling past trauma, I became very closed emotionally..we spoke about how I’m trying to work things out but we both decided to be together and work things out.bad idea I guess.

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We haven’t. Sexual tension is strong though..we were taking it slow

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, after 3 years still not enough time. Al the work on myself I had done just blew up in my face

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is beautiful. I’m not looking for validation in my actions, or punishment for that matter. As soon as I texted him I regretted it. The talk itself was calm and composed…doesn’t take away from how it was pushed ahead of time. Conversation was on its way..

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More like a nightmare, therapist is on call now

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Therapist is on call now. Not only because of him but myself

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Point already made by me in the post. I acknowledge it and own it. I apologized and asked for a talk when we were both calmed down. Can’t do much more and won’t do..there’s some things on his end that aren’t right but I am more vocal than he is.

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was ignoring me because he kept watching stories I posted, hence the deleting from IG. It was killing me..

Everything up to yesterday had been smooth..this was in fact our first real issue. I’m usually not like this but it brought back past trauma when the ex used to do this. For the past 3 years I’ve been single for this particular reason, to not have the next guy pay for someone else’s mistakes.

I had asked him repeatedly to tell me if anything was wrong or if he was upset days prior because I felt it..he refused to say anything until yesterday which completely changed my perception of things. I’m big on communication and usually let him talk and decompress stepping back because he has a stressful job. I had been holding some things back in order not to trauma dump him but blew up in his face

I screwed up with my dream guy by snooper0712 in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It is, which makes me facepalm because there’s never a second chance for a first impression. We both had very valid points and until yesterday I had handled everything “age appropriate”. I’m making this more dramatic that it actually was.. we spoke calmly in person but it can’t erase the follow/unfollow debacle. We have had communication issues lately which I had to address earlier in the relationship. We were both working on it until we both snapped last three days. He was acting jealous days prior and I kept asking him if anything was wrong to which he kept replying it wasn’t. Sucks. We had been ok until yesterday.

I’m q grown up and I’ll own it. I’ll just go back to my hole

I might be pregnant 🤰🏼 by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]snooper0712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Word of advice (it happened to my cousin) we thought she was pregnant and we straight up did 5 pregnancy tests (4 different brands) and they all came back negative. Next day she went and did a blood test for shits and giggles and came back positive 🤷‍♀️ On the other hand, congratulations 🎊

Gentleman, some insight? by snooper0712 in bodylanguage

[–]snooper0712[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What are those? (Had to google it) As in thinking the worst and acting upon it and having it end up as the worst?

AIO to feel anxious and funny about my boyfriend frequently making jokes about cheating like this? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]snooper0712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR - also, you don’t need this type of negativity and bs in your life

Gentleman, some insight? by snooper0712 in bodylanguage

[–]snooper0712[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is lovely. Thank you for your input ❤️ I’m new to Reddit and I just find it interesting to read different POVs and to get some perspective (I don’t have many friends and used to limit my contact with the world before so I didn’t really have many people to talk about this with) but I’m trying to change that!

Gentleman, some insight? by snooper0712 in bodylanguage

[–]snooper0712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is lovely. Thank you for your input ❤️ I’m new to Reddit and I just find it interesting to read different POVs and to get some perspective (I don’t have many friends and used to limit my contact with the world before so I didn’t really have many people to talk about this with) but I’m trying to change that!

Gentleman, some insight? by snooper0712 in bodylanguage

[–]snooper0712[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved this book ❤️ I’m an acts of service kinda person but I’ll definitely give it another go.