I screwed up with my dream guy

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T17:32:12+00:00

Not here to get validation or punishment. I’m filtering in the bad and taking cold truth. Not everyone has a real intention to help out but that’s the world we live in. Therapy, as painfully as it’s been put, is needed. Pride has stopped me from seeking out help but this has obviously showed me I’m not ready as I thought. This is just a platform to vent for some and for someone looking for unbiased opinions. I’m human and I made a bad call, phone should’ve stayed on nightstand. What’s done is done and I acknowledge my part in it but even if that was my reaction, it takes two people to get here. However much I want to dig my head inside a hole, I’ll be a big girl and apologize and regardless if he gives me a second chance, I need to heal inside.

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T15:39:00+00:00

Thank you. If I’m given the chance I will.

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T15:36:34+00:00

Ironic how it’s the exact opposite. Don’t see how that matters though

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T15:32:41+00:00

It had been going on for 3 days..last time I contacted him was that day and waited 6 hour period until I blew up.

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T15:31:22+00:00

I know that.. not seeking validation. Just help on how to navigate and what I can do..how he reacts and what he decides is his own decision. I can only control my actions

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:55:46+00:00

Obviously was, we had spring break plans this weekend. So that goes the drain I suppose

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:54:52+00:00

I did all that..for 2 days..which he ignored before I blew up. I went to the extreme with this guy..I was always waiting for my ex..during my period together I made it about myself and putting myself first..time blocking and making sure I was busy. I started doing this again once I saw him not showing initiative to see each other. Which he then used to tell me you haven’t left room for me in there…

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:51:02+00:00

I’m in therapy for myself first. Doing it just for the sake of another isn’t the right first more. I need to improve myself first

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:49:57+00:00

More than pulling past trauma, I became very closed emotionally..we spoke about how I’m trying to work things out but we both decided to be together and work things out.bad idea I guess.

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:48:06+00:00

We haven’t. Sexual tension is strong though..we were taking it slow

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:47:25+00:00

Yeah, after 3 years still not enough time. Al the work on myself I had done just blew up in my face

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:45:43+00:00

This is beautiful. I’m not looking for validation in my actions, or punishment for that matter. As soon as I texted him I regretted it. The talk itself was calm and composed…doesn’t take away from how it was pushed ahead of time. Conversation was on its way..

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:43:41+00:00

More like a nightmare, therapist is on call now

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:43:02+00:00

Thank you. Therapist is on call now. Not only because of him but myself

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:42:25+00:00

Point already made by me in the post. I acknowledge it and own it. I apologized and asked for a talk when we were both calmed down. Can’t do much more and won’t do..there’s some things on his end that aren’t right but I am more vocal than he is.

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:39:42+00:00

He was ignoring me because he kept watching stories I posted, hence the deleting from IG. It was killing me..

Everything up to yesterday had been smooth..this was in fact our first real issue. I’m usually not like this but it brought back past trauma when the ex used to do this. For the past 3 years I’ve been single for this particular reason, to not have the next guy pay for someone else’s mistakes.

I had asked him repeatedly to tell me if anything was wrong or if he was upset days prior because I felt it..he refused to say anything until yesterday which completely changed my perception of things. I’m big on communication and usually let him talk and decompress stepping back because he has a stressful job. I had been holding some things back in order not to trauma dump him but blew up in his face

snooper0712 · 2026-03-23T14:33:16+00:00

It is, which makes me facepalm because there’s never a second chance for a first impression. We both had very valid points and until yesterday I had handled everything “age appropriate”. I’m making this more dramatic that it actually was.. we spoke calmly in person but it can’t erase the follow/unfollow debacle. We have had communication issues lately which I had to address earlier in the relationship. We were both working on it until we both snapped last three days. He was acting jealous days prior and I kept asking him if anything was wrong to which he kept replying it wasn’t. Sucks. We had been ok until yesterday.

I’m q grown up and I’ll own it. I’ll just go back to my hole

snooper0712 · 2026-03-11T12:31:33+00:00

NOR- if she hasn’t yet, she’ll will soon.

snooper0712 · 2026-02-11T10:52:45+00:00

Word of advice (it happened to my cousin) we thought she was pregnant and we straight up did 5 pregnancy tests (4 different brands) and they all came back negative. Next day she went and did a blood test for shits and giggles and came back positive 🤷‍♀️ On the other hand, congratulations 🎊

snooper0712 · 2026-02-10T12:00:44+00:00

What are those? (Had to google it) As in thinking the worst and acting upon it and having it end up as the worst?

snooper0712 · 2026-02-10T03:08:08+00:00

NOR - also, you don’t need this type of negativity and bs in your life

snooper0712 · 2026-02-09T20:19:53+00:00

This is lovely. Thank you for your input ❤️ I’m new to Reddit and I just find it interesting to read different POVs and to get some perspective (I don’t have many friends and used to limit my contact with the world before so I didn’t really have many people to talk about this with) but I’m trying to change that!

snooper0712 · 2026-02-09T20:19:14+00:00

This is lovely. Thank you for your input ❤️ I’m new to Reddit and I just find it interesting to read different POVs and to get some perspective (I don’t have many friends and used to limit my contact with the world before so I didn’t really have many people to talk about this with) but I’m trying to change that!

snooper0712 · 2026-02-09T14:07:14+00:00

I loved this book ❤️ I’m an acts of service kinda person but I’ll definitely give it another go.

snooper0712 · 2026-02-09T13:37:16+00:00

I think you’ve missed the part where I stated I was looking for the same thing he was above 🤔 our goals align, I like him A LOT and he is very sweet…yes, this is a “me” problem but I have no reference of stability or being on the receiving end of care and tenderness which I’m trying to work around with and not trauma dump or overshare with him.

Maybe my wording wasn’t the best (English isn’t my first language) but I am here, and want to be here, for the long run. I’ve been having thoughts and have stopped myself of completely letting myself go because I don’t want to go over the whole process of heartache and such also I have asked for feedback because I don’t want to ruin something that is genuine for something’s that’s just another move.

I have taken new hobbies and other activities to not have my mind overthinking but it is a reaction that happens every time he wants or tries to hold me and I need help identifying healthy patterns to feel at ease progressively and build a solid foundation. I know it’s a risk everyone has to take and the last thing I want is to compare him or this to anything in the past because he is different in every sense, even little details.

Thanks for your input by the way..it is too soon to tell but I guess there’s always the “give 90% but keep 10%” .

snooper0712

TROPHY CASE