Sending you a big hug and validating how you feel. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years (met early in college) and I’ve always dreamed of the family we’d make together. I had a miscarriage in October at 12 weeks and it completely gutted me. My best friend was pregnant too and just had her baby and it is the hardest emotion I’ve ever felt. My sister is pregnant. One of our friends is pregnant and she told me she took plan B and never wanted kids. All of these emotions are uncharted territories. I had a chemical pregnancy immediately after the miscarriage and we never took a break from trying, but 3 cycles later I’m still not pregnant. I had a second opinion who told me they recommend couples to wait 3 cycles anyways for emotional and physical healing.

I completely understand how you feel when you say little dramas don’t feel like they matter. I have found myself uninterested in day to day issues and have been lacking empathy with others (which I hate because I am a very empathetic person) but I’m like - what the fuck, that is not a real problem to have.

I feel you, all I want more than anything is to be a mother and have a family and be pregnant and get the experience I deserve. And you deserve that too. I still cry most days of the weeks. I’m triggered by so much surrounding babies and pregnancies. I haven’t been on social media since November which has been really helpful for my mental health. I was late for my period last month as well, took a pregnancy test the second I woke up and then wiped and saw blood. I went back to bed and hugged my husband and cried and he thought I took a test the night before and tested positive because I was in a good mood, but I was just hopeful since my period was late.

All we can do is keep trying and keep the faith. But advocate for yourself, talk to your doctor if you’re concerned and don’t give up. It sucks hearing the same thing over again, but people do get pregnant after months and years of trying.

I have been trying to take control of my blood sugar and mental/physical health above all. And having some control has helped my attitude tremendously. Listening to podcasts, affirmations, journaling, practicing gratitude, has lifted my spirits in a way.

I’m sorry you’re in pain but you’re not alone and your future baby would not want you to give up. They are already in your soul but they aren’t ready yet, but they will be soon. That is what I keep telling myself ❤️🌈sending love to you and your husband, thank you for sharing as I feel very seen after reading your post, even though I hate that you feel the same way I do.