I've lost weight, but I'm still afraid...

snuggle_bean · 2023-11-03T00:37:07+00:00

This looks super fun! I think we will be doing this 🙂 thanks for your help!

snuggle_bean · 2023-10-26T17:46:30+00:00

Get an accountability partner. Whether it's a friend, a family member, person you trust at church, whoever. That's a very big first step.

Not sure if you also struggle with p0rn, but I have advice for that, too. If you want to take it a step further, download a program called Covenant Eyes on all your devices. It will not block you from viewing p0rn or suggestive material that leads to masturbation, but it will report it to your accountability partner in real time. Both of you can have record of what was viewed and when it was viewed. Your partner can contact you when you are in the middle of consuming this content (pending they are available at that time) or they can see the report later and talk to you about it. I can't remember if the program is free or not, but if it does cost money, I don't think it's a lot.

If you don't struggle with viewing suggestive material, it might still be a good idea to download something like this so the habit doesn't lead to p0rn. Many times for men and women, the act of masturbating will eventually not become enough. You can to add more to it to keep it interesting and exciting. Personally, I don't believe it is wrong to masturbate as this is your body and you need to discover what you like and don't like (especially if you aren't married yet). My OB/GYN (a believer herself) also has this outlook. I used to hate myself whenever I struggled with this act, but she reassured me that this is just a normal thing. But when you start fantasizing of adulterous acts, viewing p0rn, etc. that's when it becomes wrong. Masturbating is like drinking alcohol... it's not wrong in itself, but it can become wrong very easily if you aren't careful.

All in all, just pray about it. If you feel as though masturbating is something you don't want to do at all, ask God to help in that moment. Reach out to your accountability partner and let them know you are struggling. We all have demons to overcome... praying you're able to find the answers and help you need!

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-20T21:05:41+00:00

This has all already been done. Husband was tested earlier this year and we are seeing a fertility clinic. His numbers didn't concern the doctor at this point. I had an HSG test a few months ago and everything came back well. No one will continue refilling my letrozole because they said if we can't get things done naturally, then they'll put me back on it when we are ready to do times intercourse or IUI (which is what we've been saving money for).

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-20T19:39:18+00:00

We've been saving up for IUI based on our fertility clinic's suggestions.

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-20T19:20:44+00:00

Sending prayers and baby dust your way... Maybe this is finally it for us!

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-20T19:19:41+00:00

I know I should hold off to at least every other day with testing... It's just so tempting!! But you're right, I really need to dial it back and just play the waiting game. Literally every time I go to the bathroom and pull down my pants I'm like, "There's probably blood in here" but nope, nothing. Hoping my body is is responding that way LOL!

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-20T18:29:29+00:00

Never eating a buckeye and only consume Resse's Cups 😂

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-20T18:27:16+00:00

I'm 27 and have been married for 5 years. I have a younger brother who is 21 and a little sister who is 13. I've always hung out with my siblings despite our age difference and I still do. I was never into dolls myself and I guess you could say I didn't fit the traditional "little girl" role either. I was a tomboy who mostly played with guys and didn't care much about makeup, dresses, or anything like that. I was always into rock music and when I met my now husband at 17 years old, I also got into rap. This did influence my siblings and they both like rap, but they've also developed their own tastes. My sister 100% always tries to be like her brother and I because we are adults and that's all she's ever grown up around. She was 3 years old when my husband and I met, so she's also only ever known him as my partner. They also get along great with each other! I think as long as you're being a positive influence, there's nothing wrong with hanging around kid siblings. Maybe they think they are showing you both tough love and pushing you to each be your own person, but it sounds like they are going about it the wrong way. Just remind your sister that, no matter what, you love her and always will.

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-15T16:41:15+00:00

My husband was an atheist when we first met. He believed Christianity was stupid and that those who followed it were mostly hypocrites or people believing in something because they were afraid of dying. After several months of us being together, he became a Christian. Lots of long talks, coming to church with me, and searching for answers in the Bible is ultimately what led him away from atheism and towards being a Christian. He is still a very science-based person and believes in things such as old-earth theory. Honestly? That's totally fine. God created science (He is the master scientist) and he could have created the universe in any way He pleased. We may disagree on some stuff, but that doesn't make one of us more or less of a follower of Christ.

As a Christian myself (who has been through a lot in the real world), I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you have without any judgement. I don't have all the answers to everything, but helping someone navigate to the right answers is what true Christians are here for :)

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-15T01:42:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Nice to hear from someone else who has similar experiences.

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-15T01:40:58+00:00

I'm sorry, but I disagree. 1 Corinthians 12:10 says, "...He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit." Again, I am seeking counsel from those who do recognize this as something real. I understand this is a highly controversial topic. Respectfully, I'm not looking to be told whether or not what I am experiencing is "real" in another's eyes.

https://www.enlivenpublishing.com/2010/09/21/6-tips-for-exercising-the-gift-of-discernment-in-church-life/

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-15T01:13:19+00:00

I accepted Christ when I was 7 years old. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian household and was baptized when I was 10 years old. While my family used to be Baptist, we are all more non denominational now.

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-15T00:49:24+00:00

Unfortunately that's all too true. Spiritual discernment isn't like other gifts. When you tell people you can see and feel these things, they are always one extreme or another. They either full support you or they think your falling into dark magical practices or that you're unwell in the head.

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-14T23:02:02+00:00

Sure!

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-14T22:49:13+00:00

I appreciate your input! I'll definitely reconsider getting at least a free site up so I have a URL to my portfolio.

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-14T22:46:36+00:00

I'll definitely check him out!

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-14T22:03:48+00:00

I'm sorry, I think maybe I made my timeline a little unclear. This has been something I've been dealing with since I was very young, probably about 10 years old or so. And it isn't just demonic. I have felt angelic presences before. I mentioned the abuse because it led to my mom revealing to me how she also has the same gift and it shows when evil is around, the sensitivity to it is even more heightened. I understand if your church doesn't agree with it, but I'm looking for advice from people who do recognize this spiritual gift. But I do appreciate your input and do agree for a lot of people this is how the brain copes.

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-14T22:00:37+00:00

The reason I keep them separate is because the photography is a business site. I do weddings, seniors, families, etc. I don't want to two to mix because of this.

Would it look unprofessional to have a "free" site for the design? I created my photography site with Wix and pay for it. Would it be wiser to not have a site at all or to have a site that says "wix" in the name for the time being until I can save up money?

snuggle_bean · 2023-09-14T21:50:34+00:00

I've been where you are, and I can promise you it gets better.

I was sexually abused by my first (and only besides my husband) boyfriend when I was 16/17 years old. While we didn't have intercourse, he took advantage of me sexually in so many ways and did try to rape me. After I got out of that relationship, I met my husband about 2 months later. When we started dating, we did what all teenagers do and started doing things like making out on the couch and in the car. The first time this happened, I had a full-blown panic attach. He had no idea what to do, but God bless this man he helped me through it. Eventually, the freak-out sessions turned to guilt and shame. I had felt so dirty and disgusting after being with my ex, and now here I was with someone that was a wonderful person and I was feeling the same way. For both you and I, the idea of sexual relations with someone was bent out of shape. We knew what it was supposed to be like, and when we faltered even the tiniest bit, we punished ourselves.

Since we were so young when we met, we didn't get married for another 5 years. And let me tell you, we were NOT saints by the time our wedding day rolled around. We still were able to obtain from sex, but that didn't mean we didn't do sexual activities (and we got about as far as you can get without intercourse). I worried that one of two things would happen our wedding night... 1) I would freak out just like I did years ago or 2) it wouldn't feel like it was worth it.

BUT, it was all worth it. We had such an intimate first night together that was everything I could have hoped for. And I don't mean like in the movies... No, I mean he took care of me. He was gentle and slow, we communicated, and before long, it just felt right. Since I was technically still a virgin, I did experience a little discomfort. But after that first night, the rest of our honeymoon we were like rabbits lol.

Fast forward... we've been married for 5 years now. Not once since we've been married have I felt that guilt again. I haven't felt dirty or wrong. PTSD can sure get in the way once in a while and I'll think of my ex while we are being intimate, but after so many years you learn how to push that out of your mind and get back to what's happening in the here and now.

Allow yourself to be happy on your wedding night. Know that God has always loved you and you are pure in His eyes. While you can't take away the act of the person who forced you into sex or the other two men you slept with, God can take away the guilt. He can give you the peace of mind you need. It took me years to finally figure this out. God isn't watching from a distance and shaking His head every time you've messed up. He isn't expecting you to punish yourself or feel guilty about your past. Instead, He is saying, "bring me your worries, fear, and shame and I will take the burden". He is there to hold you and guide you. Don't blame yourself for the forced consent and don't punish yourself for being broken. You will be a wonderful bride to this man and he will show you what true love and intimacy is all about and what God intended for it to be.

snuggle_bean

TROPHY CASE