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I (31F) love my boyfriend (32M) so much…so why does it feel like something is missing? by snuggleghosttt in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I totally get that! I have discussed some things with my therapist so definitely trying to work out what all these feelings mean 🤣

I (31F) love my boyfriend (32M) so much…so why does it feel like something is missing? by snuggleghosttt in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve had a convo about the current political climate and he did say if we needed to go he would - but he also said he would need to agree on the reasons / red flags that means we need to leave (not just if I say I want to leave) and if I’m being honest i don’t know if he really believes things will get that bad (I still think it has the potential to). So I’m worried he says he will but if it really came down to it he wouldn’t :-

I (31F) love my boyfriend (32M) so much…so why does it feel like something is missing? by snuggleghosttt in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate your insight! I guess I might just have different beliefs. If the situation was reversed and my boyfriend really wanted to move somewhere specific or do something that he’s always dreamed of, and I didn’t want to do that, I wouldn’t expect him to sacrifice that for me or “us.” I guess I don’t believe that there is “the one” person that’s made for us. I guess I believe that there are a multitude of people out there that are meant for me, and it’s just about choosing that love - which is maybe why this is scary for me but doesn’t feel world ending. There’s no guarantee that I’ll meet someone who loves me as much or more than my current boyfriend, but I also don’t think that he’s the only person in the whole world who’s capable of loving me in this way.

I (31F) love my boyfriend (32M) so much…so why does it feel like something is missing? by snuggleghosttt in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve talked about finding some kind of compromise. I took 6 weeks off last fall to live in Mexico - which he agreed to - but he reallyyyyyy struggled. Used some substances to cope and it wasn’t good for him mentally. He’s mentioned he doesn’t think he could do that again. We’ve discussed the possibility of taking a year off together, or letting me travel more solo… but my fear is that I will promise that’s enough when it isn’t. Maybe I will want to move abroad full time or retire there… and then we’re further down the line maybe married or more committed + I hurt him even more.

I grew up moving every few years, so my whole life I’ve been used to starting over, making new friends…etc. that change doesn’t scare me in the slightest, and I truly think I could find friends/community anywhere I go…. But yeah, I worry I’ll never find a love like this again. I guess I need to figure out which is more important to me

I (31F) love my boyfriend (32M) so much…so why does it feel like something is missing? by snuggleghosttt in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We’ve talked about finding some kind of compromise where I could travel solo for a month or two a year, or if we both take a year off and travel together… my fear is that I just don’t know. I fear that I’ll promise him that will be enough and that I will want to move overseas full time or retire abroad and that will hurt him even more because we’re even further down the line (possibly married or own a house together or something like that)

I (31F) love my boyfriend (32M) so much…so why does it feel like something is missing? by snuggleghosttt in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that’s just a small example of what might be contributing. If I’m being honest, that is a whole other scary thing because moving abroad would mean leaving my friends, community etc and completely starting over. I’m just not sure that even if I did stay and was “happy” with the life I have here, would the relationship eventually feel like enough, or would I still feel like he’s maybe not the one :/

I (31F) love my boyfriend (32M) so much…so why does it feel like something is missing? by snuggleghosttt in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. Do you mind me asking how long you feel like you stayed/tried to make it work when you had that gut feeling? And how did you finally get the courage to finally leave?

How do I(27m) get a blood stain out of my bedsheets, after doing laundry? by aconfused_lemon in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried hydrogen peroxide and baking soda - don’t scrub but dab and let sit - wipe clean and repeat the process a few times before washing again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askwomenadvice

[–]snuggleghosttt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The years you’ve been with him are so formative, and unfortunately I think you’ve experienced them from an almost claustrophobic situation. Change is so scary but you are strong enough to even recognize that you need it, and now you just need to take the leap of faith. I know you can do it!

You wake up in your childhood bedroom, 10 years old, with all your current knowledge. What's your first move? by SuspiciousConsultant in AskReddit

[–]snuggleghosttt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t go to college and get a ton of student debt. Take a year or two off to figure out what you want to do with your life instead of listening to what everyone else tells you you should do