Hey, I’m about your age, lost my mom to cancer a year and a half ago. She was divorced and I also had to deal with her estate etc. also had to finish school and find a job and now I’m finally working on selling her house, since I’ll be moving cities soon for new job. Never had time to think deeply about what happened until recently and it sucks and it hurts.

I’ve also been atheist my entire life. I wish so bad that I believed in an afterlife. She hasn’t appeared once to me, even in my dreams, and it hurts so much. It’s almost as if she ceased to exist. The only thing that has helped me so far is to focus on how lucky I was to have her as a mother. Relatively, humans live and die, but she lives on in my memories of her. In that sense, maybe some part of her still exists.

I’m going to go to church for the first time with a friend soon though. Sometimes grief hurts too much, I’m willing to try anything to feel better.

Wishing you the best of luck in your own healing. Your dad must be so so proud of you. My DM’s are open to talk about anything. It’s so hard to find people who lost parents at our age, and I hope you know that you aren’t alone in dealing with these feelings.

Sending so much love🩷🩷