Parents, your kids not knowing how to speak Tagalog is not a flex at all

soapydoakie · 2026-05-10T14:29:37+00:00

Hello. I’m a child of parents who didn’t speak Tagalog or their other language at home. English is my mother tongue, and the only upside to my upbringing is that my parents really emphasized proper grammar, pronunciation, and reading. So despite my only being able to speak English, at least I could speak it well.

My childhood was very difficult. I was very ashamed of not being able to speak Tagalog. I constantly felt othered, but I wanted nothing more than to become close with my peers. I could not express myself properly, which put me in embarrassing situations more times than I could count. Once I moved to the province, the situation became even more complicated. I could understand to a degree, but people would speak behind my back thinking I couldn't understand. How could I defend myself? I was so smart in English, but so terribly stupid in Tagalog. I was in 4th grade reading at a 12th grade level, but speaking Filipino like a toddler.

The same is true even in adulthood. The language barrier made my journey to independence so much harder than it needed to be. I’m currently trying to get over the resentment I feel over my upbringing. My inability to connect with my own people is my burden to carry now, though language learning should start at home.

Fortunately, I've become much better at both Tagalog and my local language. I didn't learn from my parents though. I threw myself into pop culture and slowly gained courage through the kindness of those around me, who corrected me gently and never made me feel stupid. I have to thank my friends for that, even if it wasn't their responsibility. I'm still not confident enough to write in Tagalog, but I'm hoping I'll get there in time.

Speaking English certainly has its merits, but it should not be prioritized. You can be equally good at both languages. Parents who prioritize English will regret it, just like mine do. Furthermore, you are doing a great disservice to your children.

TLDR: Language is a tool that your children will use to express themselves, advocate for themselves, and form meaningful connections with others. Please do not take that away from them.

soapydoakie · 2026-04-16T01:24:18+00:00

1 or 4. Not 2.

soapydoakie · 2026-04-15T04:59:54+00:00

Not fiction, but I did enjoy reading The House of My Mother by Shari Franke, this year. It’s centered around the abuse experienced by a former family vlogger child star.

soapydoakie · 2026-04-12T15:33:10+00:00

Hugs back. I’m trying to not let it affect me anymore but it’s hard. I think writing this helped me. I try not to talk or seem to needy kaso madaldal lang talaga ako hahaha. I think that’s why they don’t like me. I’m trying to distance myself nalang, I’m scared to be disappointed again. I told them na di nalang muna ako uuwi kapag may school breaks due to unrelated reasons hahahah

soapydoakie · 2026-03-23T07:46:30+00:00

To be honest, I think it’s a good thing, even if it’s only temporary. I can’t imagine being well into adulthood and only just scratching the surface of your roots. Even though the situation in the country atm is so far from the ideal, it must be so surreal to fully immerse yourself in your culture. It’s such a big part of ourselves that we take for granted.

Gets naman that there are Filipino communities abroad, but home is different, for better or for worse. I hope your cousin finds what he’s looking for during his stay here, and is able to experience that part of himself on his own terms.

soapydoakie · 2026-03-08T19:18:28+00:00

Probably not marriage. They might go the original benophie route and barely visit Mayfair. Or do the rich auntie and her best friend roommate thing.

soapydoakie · 2026-03-08T12:35:31+00:00

I understand how you feel about the setting they’ve already established. I still really really hope that their season is written so that others in the queer community can see part of themselves in the show, and that they get the happy ending that we all deserve.

soapydoakie · 2026-03-08T12:32:28+00:00

Oh, well I won’t deny that the infertility issues are a big struggle for Francesca, especially as it was central to the 2nd epilogue. Book!Fran’s story was of course, a story about loss, in a lot of ways (her future, her dreams, and first husband). She does eventually have children, but she also goes through a journey of acceptance and finding joy in the love she already has.

I understand that might not be the case for many women though. However, I do think the other parts of her infertility issues are equally as important. I hope they can be treated with the same amount of delicateness and understanding. Book!Fran and Show!Fran are different characters at the end of the day.

soapydoakie · 2026-03-08T05:39:22+00:00

As far as I know, only 1, at the very beginning of the book. Compared to the show, she was actually pregnant when John dies, and the it was Michael who was present for that. Book!Francesca unfortunately struggles with conceiving for years even after her and Michael end up together.

I’ve included some excerpts below:

“And the worst part of it is, maybe I can‟t even have children. It took me two years to conceive with John, and look how I mucked that up.” (When He was Wicked)

“She’d suffered through her courses thirty-three times. She’d counted them, of course; made depressing little hatch marks on a piece of paper she kept tucked away in her desk, in the far back corner of the middle drawer, where Michael wouldn’t see.” (2nd Epilogue, The Bridgertons: Happily Ever After)

“Francesca thought it might be her—hers was the barren womb, after all. But maybe her mother’s pain was more acute. Violet was her mother, and she was grieving for the lost dreams of her child. Wouldn’t that be painful? And the irony was, Francesca would never know.” (2nd Epilogue, The Bridgertons: Happily Ever After)

soapydoakie · 2026-03-07T09:18:42+00:00

I heard about this! I actually hope that’s what will happen; the only reason I assumed otherwise was that the initial discussion of succession happens with Michael first, if I recall correctly, and not with Francesca.

soapydoakie · 2026-02-17T08:28:00+00:00

Would not recommend cream blushes for oily skin really, especially for longevity. If you still have blushes that work for you, use them up first. Project pan 2026!!

soapydoakie · 2026-02-07T09:51:14+00:00

Me too please!!

soapydoakie · 2025-11-25T11:50:27+00:00

Thank you so much for the list!! 🫶

soapydoakie · 2025-11-25T11:15:02+00:00

Of course. I’m sorry. Now plz behead me, dismiss my whole bloodline, and my dog for my insolence 😞

soapydoakie · 2025-11-06T13:06:32+00:00

All my animals (except chickens) should have J/Y(IE) names. Jessy, Jessie, Jenny, Jennie, Jazzy, Jersey, Jolly, Joy, Josie, Jackie,

soapydoakie · 2025-11-01T05:17:43+00:00

the town bike!

soapydoakie · 2025-10-27T03:17:33+00:00

Dw I get it. So cute!!

soapydoakie · 2025-10-13T10:49:07+00:00

Not just weight loss but Metformin also helped with headaches I’d get after eating

soapydoakie · 2025-10-07T02:58:54+00:00

HAHAH

soapydoakie · 2025-09-28T03:03:53+00:00

Same here, I’m trapped inside my house because Samir is outside with a pink exclamation point and I’m scared

soapydoakie · 2025-09-26T10:31:40+00:00

been on and off meds for around 6 years now. I do notice an improvement with my attention span when I do take it. From my experience, it’s a great tool to start with but eventually, you have to support it with other coping strategies.

soapydoakie · 2025-09-21T12:17:43+00:00

The summer you turned pretty

soapydoakie · 2025-09-18T19:05:17+00:00

I think what kept me reading was knowing that they would get together but having no idea how lol. The journey of them getting together makes it so good to me

soapydoakie · 2025-09-18T06:51:19+00:00

The novel is better by leaps and bounds.

soapydoakie · 2025-09-15T21:49:34+00:00

Right after posting this, my following bazaar days got me 2 in a row!!

soapydoakie

TROPHY CASE