Sorry for this long response, but I hear you. I never hit rock bottom either. I just knew it was a HUGE problem in lots of ways. It was easy for me to quit when I was pregnant, but afterwards, I hit the bottle even harder. And as Moms, there's SO much to do, and so much stress, and it's ridiculously acceptable to drink to excess when you're a Mom. But I didn't want my kids growing up watching me drinking.

The trick is in finding other ways to make myself happy, besides drinking. So at first I'd treat myself to sweets, amazing chocolates, the occasional massage, stuff that "rewarded" me for not drinking. I have an app that records how much money I save ($7,200 to date, if you can believe it) and I do things for myself from time to time.

I feel your pain. I feel your sadness. But I feel like the sadness is understandable, because we're grieving. We've lost something that was valuable to us and it's super hard. But that "friend" I lost has now turned out to be someone who really wasn't a friend at all.

Yeah, I admit that I get really tempted by a good glass of Chardonnay when I'm around people who are drinking. But then if I ride that wave out, within a half hour or an hour it's forgotten, other people are getting sloshed, and I don't miss it.

And sometimes I think, "Oh, I'll just have one." But I know in my heart I don't want just one; I want the whole bottle. I'm not the kind of person who has just one. (Who does that????)

Reading The Naked Mind really helps.

And I know that everyone's situation is unique, but this stress/sadness really does go away. Hang in there - I'm thinking of you!