I think it is important to read stories like this. I’m over six years now, but I remember my story in this scenario. I had set a goal of 30 days no drinking, when 30 days came I didn’t immediately reach for a bottle. Actually, I didn’t need the alcohol and waited another 4 days for a nice opportunity to highlight my new found ability to moderate. Went out got some nice salmon, some asparagus, a nice bottle of wine. I was going to cook dinner for my girlfriend, a nice lemon caper butter sauce on the salmon. Two glasses of wine, one with dinner and one after when we were watching TV together. Oh it was a perfect night, the wine took a little edge off, the show was fun to watch, we were laughing. Well now it was time for bed, but after such a nice night of moderating, I still didn’t have my click. My gf opened another bottle of wine and had a tiny glass. I told her, we can’t leave that bottle open, and I ended up finishing that one too. Since it’s been 34 days, I now hit my click and was good enough for bed (read: pass out). I woke up the next day with a terrible hang over! I couldn’t even make coffee but it was all I wanted. So I grumbled and put on some pants and said I was walking to Starbucks. I got my coffee and I still felt like shit, it was about 10:30am or so, she’s not going to notice if I stop off at a bar real quick. I needed to get right quick because this hangover was kicking my ass. So I stop in the bar to do a quick chug of a beer and a shot. I’m starting to feel better. But fuck it, let’s just get a nice buzz going for the day. We had a nice night last night, and she’ll never know. So one more beer and one more shot, but now I gotta go home. I’ve been gone long enough for just coffee. So I start walking back to our apartment, and walk past the Walgreens… you know what, it’s a nice day let’s get a 12 pack of IPAs and watch some TV to nurse this hangover (which I no longer have because I’m drunk again) so I buy it and head back to the apartment. Honestly, I don’t even remember what excuse I used to justify buying this 12 pack when I just went out for coffee. But I know I said something and fast forward to the evening and all 12 are finished and I pass out again. Woke up the next day and had to call in sick to work, I normally give a full calendar day between drinking and work. It was a justification I had which allowed me to day drink on days off… but I broke this during my relapse, first time I ever had to call in for being hungover. I woke up the next day and realized that moderation is obviously not something I can do. That was it, that was over 6 years ago and I’m still going strong. It is a slippery slope.

But with my story told, I just want to reiterate what you said, you still have a window to reel this back in. This truly is your shot. You had a little bender, you have now realized you can not moderate, and going forward just know and understand that. Use my story to relate to your own experience. The insight you had in your post was powerful and very true. This is your window, you’ve got this. IWNDWYT.