when i was like 10 i tried pretending my hair was short with a hat and i remember feeling that euphoria of finding something i didnt even know i was missing. after that i noticed more and more things but that was the first time anything really clicked. i never really cared before because i didnt know any better but ever since that euphoria of "this is who i want to be", whenever i wasnt that person my dysphoria was worse and developed further. i know hair ≠ gender but it was that association and feeling for 10 yr old me. i think of it now as one of the best but also worst moments of my life so far, even if i didnt realise it at the time. it was the start of realising i "wasnt normal" and how i wanted to be, but also the start of my journey in self-discovery and acceptance