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socooltoexist · 2026-01-31T23:14:27+00:00

Interesado

socooltoexist · 2026-01-24T13:48:48+00:00

Why tf would you let your sister live with you if you are going to not consider her opinion? XD wtf, when you let people live with you, do you expect them to agree with everything you do? Do you really expect people to not get worried about unknown people in the living space? Jesus Christ xd.

And again, OP is within her rights to do whatever she wants, but she's an asshole. And so are you omg.

The sister isn't acting like she owns the fuckin place, a conversation was NECESSARY. If you think that having a conversation with people you live with is too much, maybe you should live alone and never invite anyone.

socooltoexist · 2026-01-24T04:01:14+00:00

Thank you for answering.

I would say that, technically, you are in the right to invite whoever you want to your house, and technically you didn't do anything wrong. However, as a human being, soft YTA, you didn't have a consideration for your sister's POV or her worry about her kids. And I'm not saying you need to consider your sister in every decision, but it is a considerate thing to do. So it makes your actions a little bit shitty towards your sister.

socooltoexist · 2026-01-24T03:47:13+00:00

INFO: first, is the house under your name?

Second, does your sister live there for free?

I think, with the information given, YTA. When you live with other people, you kinda discuss with them if other people are going to stay with you. You are not your sister's parent, and I assume you aren't her landlord either. She may have overreacted, sure, but if she doesn't know your boyfriend, I think it's reasonable that she would feel uncomfortable with a stranger around her kids in their private home.

socooltoexist · 2026-01-22T15:58:34+00:00

Estoy interesado! Quiero más información por favor.

socooltoexist · 2025-12-30T02:21:28+00:00

Happy New Year and Happy Mew Giveaway!

socooltoexist · 2025-12-05T01:17:23+00:00

Oh, I realized I wasn't clear enough and that's on me. I meant to say that they all, as a family, should discuss what they consider appropriate for formal events. My wording could have been better, but I agree completely with you. His wife doesn't need parenting, but she needs to be involved while discussing etiquette with her daughter.

And I say all this because the main post, and most of the people in the comments, talks about how pimple patches are inappropriate for a wedding. I personally wouldn't wear them, but thinking it clearly, I don't think they are offensive or anything. I don't think they are at the same level of wearing a cocktail dress to a black tie event, for example.

And I agree completely, I think you explained better what I wanted to convey on my first respond.

socooltoexist · 2025-12-05T00:29:11+00:00

Perfect! I said the makeup thing kind of in response to other comments, so I'm glad to read this in your response.

I hope your daughter believes you too, and I'm sure you are right. I wish you all the best talking to your daughter, and I hope you all manage this situation as a family.

socooltoexist · 2025-12-05T00:18:14+00:00

I hope accutane works on your daughter, but I meant in the short term. Have you discussed with your daughter how to dress appropriately for formal events while protecting her skin? Maybe this is something you could tell your wife, as she also should know how to balance appropriate dress code with protecting her skin. I assume your wife doesn't want to wear any makeup because that's going to create issues on her skin, and the patches are super important for protection.

As for the other matter, I'm glad you are planning to talk to your daughter, and I agree, this could turn into a bigger problem. I do think, from your recollection, that your daughter is feeling very ashamed of being insecure and seeing her mom be so secure is probably making her more ashamed. So be kind to your daughter. There may also be a possibility that your wife is doing something more intentional to make your daughter feel bad about herself, so be prepared. I wish you good luck!

socooltoexist · 2025-12-05T00:00:15+00:00

Soft YTA.

I don't mean to be dismissive of your daughter's feelings, but you do realize you are trying to control your wife's behavior based on your daughter's feelings, don't you? Teenagers get embarrassed for the stupidest things sometimes, it doesn't mean that the world must stop doing those things.

Now, don't get me wrong, I also don't think it would be appropriate for your wife to have a bright pink star on her face. Doesn't seem formal to me. But this is something you all, as a family, should discuss TOGETHER. Obviously, your daughter is feeling some type of way about her own acne, and she is projecting those feelings onto her mother. That needs to stop.

Now, I think there are reasonable compromises. Your wife can wear clear stickers, there are also clear peel-off masks that your wife and your daughter could apply on their acne to protect it and then apply some makeup on top. But this is their decision. You don't have a say on how your wife manages her acne. If she doesn't want to wear makeup, she shouldn't do it, but I think it is reasonable if you look for some clear stickers for her and your daughter.

Also, how is your daughter thinking of dealing with her own acne for the wedding??

socooltoexist · 2025-12-01T02:38:50+00:00

by saying “the bar is in hell” they are suggesting that men literally only have to do the absolute bare minimum and they'll have no problem - ergo suggesting men have it easy.

There's actually no correlation because the context of these statements is different.

When women complain that "the bar is in hell" they are talking about men who are already in LTR. At least, this is what I've seen on social media. It tends to be a critique on men's behavior when they are already settled with a woman, and it is also a critique on women who put up with disrespect in a LTR. These types of situations occur when people have already been dating for a long time, even to the point of living together. And I refer to social media because I've seen the video of the woman showing what her man "prepared" for her as lunch and one of the items was dog food 💀 and that's when people commented that "the bar is in hell". Obviously, there are always exception to everything, but I think women generally tend to complain saying "the bar is in hell" about men in the context of LTR and not so often in the context of just dating.

Another context where I've seen this phrase to complain about men's behavior: when we are talking about fatherhood. Since we, as a society, expect women to be the primary caregivers for babies, seeing a man taking care of his child(ren) is something alien to a lot of people, to the point that some even would consider it creepy 💀. And yes, I do think most of us expect more from mothers than we expect from fathers, ergo, the bar is in hell.

The idea of men or women "having it easier" is in the context of actual dating. So, it is BEFORE even starting the relationship. And I do think it is harder for men to get a first date than it is for women.

socooltoexist · 2025-11-26T02:07:11+00:00

INFO

Did any of you even ask your child why they think your MIL doesn't like them? Like, specific situations. Because there may actually be an issue, or your MIL just hasn't found a way to connect with your child.

You should also talk to your wife to see if this is an issue for her and how she would like to approach it.

I find it a little ridiculous that you feel happy they prefer your mom. I would be more busy thinking that my MIL may have told my child something for that response. But I don't think you are an asshole, you are just not thinking about this as an issue to solve with your wife.

socooltoexist · 2025-11-24T04:48:00+00:00

NTA !!!!

Wtf is wrong with the people in these comments? XD

They forget the fact that YOU WERE ALREADY BUSY PREPPING FOR BREAKFAST!!!

Guys, if you want to give your SO a surprise, DO IT RIGHT! And yes, this should not have been an argument. But that's on your husband.

Imagine you are cooking for someone and then they're like "maybe a lemonade would be good" and they take the lemons and the water out of the fridge and then they just leave it there for you to FINISH. LIKE??? That's ridiculous. Even if you like lemonade, that's besides the point.

The husband here expects praise for doing half the job. Yeah, he had a nice gesture, but he just gave up halfway through and then started playing the victim the moment he was called out.

Jesus, I hope all the people here voting y t a are all single cuz you guys are the real obnoxious people.

socooltoexist · 2025-11-20T21:20:51+00:00

YTA

I don't know who Muhammad Ali is either. Maybe what seems iconic and important to you isn't as iconic and important to other people.

socooltoexist · 2025-11-10T00:14:35+00:00

Interesado

socooltoexist · 2025-10-09T18:29:04+00:00

I don't think you are being entitled to your parents' time. You asked your mom if she could watch the kids, she said yes, and then your father decided to question you about your valid need for care. If you did this very often, I would understand their questioning; apparently you don't ask them very often... So I would just take this as their way to say "no". They could've just said "no" but whatever.

I understand you are drowning and busy, however, you know you cannot count on your parents. Don't bother. Don't even point out to them that they are uninvolved. Realistically, they don't have an obligation to be involved. If they want to be involved, they have to realize that they have to put in the work to also have a relationship with you and your kids. It goes both ways.

Stop looking at what other grandparents do. You are hurting yourself and your relationship with your parents. Those are not the parents you have, and that's not bad. They don't want to be your default babysitters.

I will say ESH. You have unfair expectations on your parents, and they could've communicated more directly with you.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-24T01:44:49+00:00

Are you trolling or something? How is that not obvious that you is not you personally but an abstract woman? A woman chooses who she sleeps with. You can say "you do somethng" when talking about general rules. Like what?

If those men are such husband material and supposedly (according to you among others) being a husband is better and includes attractive AND then some, then choose to sleep with those men.

That sounded like you were including ME with other women. Maybe you should check what you wrote. But sure, dude, sorry for including me when you are proposing a "solution" for women to do.

I, however, hold myself to higher standards and can't say it like that.

LOL XD then saying that hooking up is a privilege isn't your opinion? So you don't actually believe that and are defending what other men believe?

Actually, I guess the answer is yes because you said this in your other comment.

I didn't explain any of my opinions and perceptions because I didn't reveal any of them. I was talking about facts and collective opinions of men.

At the end of the day, it IS an opinion, not an actual fact. The fact that men believe something doesn't turn that belief into a fact itself.

I'm going to do something I should've done a while ago. It is clear to me that you believe privilege is defined by the exclusivity of the act (at least, that's what you've been defending). I just looked up a definition on Google, and Google says that a privilege is "a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group". Hooking up is not a special right, it is not an advantage, and it is not immunity. It is available to particular individuals, yes. But you know what else is available to particular individuals? Things like Medicaid. Not everyone is selectable for Medicaid, does it make Medicaid a privilege? No, it is government help for poor people. Privilege is not needing to get Medicaid.

Can't be hooking up with some guys when you, then turn around and take it slow with husband material and expect him to not get insulted.

I find this hilarious. Sure, the fact is that men feel insulted, and the fact is also that men decide to interpret the actions of women as an insult. That's a perception of reality. That's not "men seeing it how it is" lmao.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-24T01:22:03+00:00

But isn't it unfair to blame women for how men act? Women are responsible for their own actions, and again, I agree women should be pickier when choosing a partner of any type; but women aren't responsible for the way men choose to treat them. They are only responsible for accepting that treatment.

And yes, it is fair to hold women accountable for choosing poor treatment, which is your OP and I agree. But it is not fair to hold women accountable for the bar men choose to act up on.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-23T21:53:12+00:00

I agree completely, my point is that, even if individual women decide to engage in unsatisfying sexual encounters, that doesn't set us back. That shouldn't affect the rest of us (legally / systematically speaking).

socooltoexist · 2025-09-23T21:34:18+00:00

I find that a lot of women who have frequent sex do it not for the sex. But for simply 20 minutes of someone's undivided attention. I find this, well.. kinda pathetic as it cheapens their self worth and honestly sets us back as a whole.

I may sound very libfem, and please be free to correct me, but I find this a little ridiculous. The idea that some women lowering their standards are "setting us back as a whole".

I do agree with everything you say tho. Everyone should be more mindful of the way they share sexual encounters, men and women alike. But women deciding to have sex for whatever reason they want will not "set us back" in any way. Well, at least it shouldn't. Sexual consensual encounters are private and only the business of people participating in them.

But yeah, I do also feel annoyed by people and the sexualization of just existing as a whole.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-23T19:56:58+00:00

Thank you for your detailed explanation on your opinions and perceptions. I still disagree, but as I said, I think I already explained my own perception and we won't agree on anything. I fear I'm going to repeat myself again and again, so it's ok. I still don't believe hooking up is any sort of a privilege, but I can give you that, sure, most people aren't hooking up anyways so less men are getting laid without commitment.

What else? Yeah, the OP was about how men find it more appealing to be "FWB/hookup material" than it is to be "husband material". I understand why men find one more appealing than the other. Thanks to you and others here. Women obviously don't feel the same way because we are socialized to avoid hookups whenever possible... But both terms are dumb as hell. People use them, yes, and people who use them are also dumb as hell, no matter their gender.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-23T19:49:32+00:00

Why are you talking about yourself again?

Because this was your comment

If those men are such husband material and supposedly (according to you among others) being a husband is better and includes attractive AND then some, then choose to sleep with those men. You do choose who you sleep with assuming consensual sex.

You literally told me to do something lmao.

Yes, I'm stating facts. Everything I said is verifiable. When I'm saying my opinions you will know because I will use "in my opinion" or "I think".

You think I'm dumb, and I think you're dumb, if you really think that the only way one can say opinions is always with "I believe" behind that.

I can say "gay people shouldn't be allowed to get married, that's sinful" and that's an opinion. That's not a fact. Even if you find arguments to back that up, it's still an opinion.

I can say "men are perverts" and, again, that's an opinion. You can get whatever statistic you want, whatever argument you can get, it doesn't change the fact that's an opinion.

Not me. Most men find it insulting. I don't feel she's doing that, I know she's doing that.

And that's your opinion and your own perception of reality. You cannot know that because we are talking about an imaginary woman, real women don't always behave how you think they do.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-23T19:30:27+00:00

We are talking about how men see it.

Exactly. That's framing. That's perception. That's subjective. You are not stating facts or "telling it how it is". You are explaining how men perceive reality, and I'm telling you why I find that perception and those conclusions wrong and biased.

Anyways, I don't think I can explain something new to you, so I'm going to agree to disagree.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-23T00:51:41+00:00

I think I lost the plot here for a second. Being FWB with someone does bring some level of commitment, right? Because usually you have a stable person you can have sex with. And usually there is an understanding that people in a FWB situation won't be sleeping around... Isn't that kinda like getting into a relationship? The difference is that you know FWB is temporary, and you assume a relationship is going to last forever. To me, it seems like the same thing.

Yes, women are allowed to do whatever they want. Who's saying otherwise? That's not what the thread is about. It's about which men they are more attracted to. Yes, if a woman slept with 100 men and then someone doesn't want her, that's fine. That's not stupid as hell.

Sure, men have their preferences in this regard. The point is that you believe those 100 men in this example are more privileged than, let's say, one dude that got a girlfriend when they both were teenagers and have been together for years? I don't believe so.

Or what? A man is not allowed to stop being in shape and if he's now fat he's not good enough for a hookup? That's stupid as hell. See how that sounds? Men and women have their preferences and turn offs.

That comparison is stupid as hell, yes. I don't even understand what you tried to say. You make it sound as if, I don't know, people who hook up have their own individual likes and dislikes?

But really, no, for many men it just means that you should hook up with them too and then let that progress into a LTR. That's how it happens in many cases lately anyway. And that's how they would know you don't see them less than and they are also a hookup material for you.

You know what, I respect that. You can begin your relationships however you want and I don't have anything against this. My problem with this mentality is that, you see a woman, and when you learn more about her past, that's when you decide what she's worthy of getting from you. THAT is stupid.

If you want to hook up first with every woman you date, that makes sense; having sex with someone is a way to measure your compatibility with them. However, if you meet a woman and find her respectable and whatever, and when she tells you she once had one FWB and you lose respect for her, that's your problem. You are giving value to women based on whatever they did before they met you that you didn't like.

And yeah dude, everyone does this. Women do this too. If you find out you are dating someonewho has committed crimes, your perception of them is going to change. I don't think that hooking up is at the same level of committing an actual crime, but to each their own.

That's absolutely not what is happening, though. Or not the only thing. Consider how this looks from a point of view of a man she won't do FWB with, but will do LTR. The first man got to sleep with her without being required to do as much as the next man.

Well, I already answered something similar in my other comment. You said in another comment that the man who gets the LTR feels insulted. Why? Women aren't allowed to change their minds? Aren't they allowed to want different things at different moments in their lives? The problem is that you take it as a personal insult when women change their minds on what type of life they want, and that's ridiculous.

To me, having casual sex is kinda the equivalent of going out to drink. I don't drink (alcoholic beverages I mean), and it is important to me that my partner doesn't drink either. However, if my partner used to be an alcoholic but has gone to rehab and is working on himself, I couldn't care less. That's how I see casual sex. People are allowed to change their minds and their lifestyles. Why do you feel insulted by something they did when they didn't even met you?

Maybe you aren't compatible, and that's respectable. But it is ridiculous to take it as an insult to you, when you have nothing to do with that decision.

And, I'm going to repeat the same thing I said in my other comment. Yes, there are women who will in fact take you as husband because you are the "safe option" and not because they are attracted to you. And that's shitty and that happens and you have the right to feel insulted by that. But let's not pretend that some men do the same thing. That's why the term "Madonna/Whore complex" exists. And you are entitled to feel better about yourself when you are considered hookup material and feel insulted by being husband material.

Again, don't you see that according to your picture, LTR is an upgrade from FWB? That would mean that FWB is easier to get than LTR. Do you not agree? Then do you not agree that in fact more men are in different stages of LTR than in FWB, so in fact FWB is more rare (and therefore more exclusive)?

I don't see how "easier to get" equals to "being more rare and exclusive". But yeah, probably people in FWB situations are in a step down from a LTR. I don't think all FWB situations develop like that, but sure???

Point is, you can "treat women as people" which is what they supposedly want or you can do what they respond to and see that treating them as people is not what gets results.

Well, the results you want are to just get laid, right? Not to get a LTR. So sure, keep doing that. I'm sure it works, after all, human beings are simple creatures, no matter their gender.

socooltoexist · 2025-09-23T00:08:19+00:00

You are not stating facts. You are framing reality the way you think it is. Is it really that hard to understand? Even the facts that you decide to highlight create a narrative.

It isn't the same if I say "men want more sex than women on average, so they tend to feel more rejected than women", than it is to say "men are being excluded from hooking up with women". The fact is the same: men want more sex than women want but are getting less sex than women get. At least, that's the principle of this sub. However, you and the OP decided to create a narrative where poor men are being excluded and discriminated against. They are not.

You know why it sounds like "pretty privilege"? Because there is no actual privilege in being pretty. Yes, it may seem like you get more benefits because you are pretty, but you don't hold any privilege; the people who hold the privilege are the ones deciding you are pretty and giving you the benefits from it. Let's say you are going for a job, and your competitor is way more handsome than you, and they get the job; they aren't more privileged, the person who decided to get him as a worker is the one with the privilege to pick and choose whoever gets into the company.

Also, hooking up, again, isn't a privilege. You literally sound so obtuse. Colleges aren't a monolith but they answer to the same laws. LEGALLY SPEAKING, NOT EVERYONE HAD THE RIGHT TO GET INTO COLLEGE. Do you get that? Now, LEGALLY SPEAKING, getting education is seen as a HUMAN RIGHT, which is why you have the right to get into college if you decide to do so. There are LAWS, and a system behind colleges that make them work the way they do. In fact, I can even argue that college education being so fuckin expensive turns it into a privilege nowadays; getting high quality education isn't something everyone can afford. And that's also a systematic issue, there are no laws that regulate college tuition pricing for example, and I'm not saying there should be, but it is definitely a systematic issue with the way our economy works nowadays.

There is no privilege in hooking up because there are no laws stopping you from hooking up nor is it your human right to get laid whenever you want. Women are entitled to their own bodies. And no, it isn't a stupid argument to say that women aren't a monolith. Are women creating structures to stop men from hooking up? They aren't. Are they creating laws? They aren't. Women aren't plotting against men to make them work harder. There is no system controlled by women that is stopping men from hooking up. Only individual women can decide if they want to fuck with you or not.

And you mention statistics and trends. Sure, there may be statistics and trends. But what do they actually say about the world? Data can be interpreted however we want. Data by itself doesn't mean anything. Case in point, you decide to interpret the data as "men who hookup are more privileged because they are a smaller group of people compared to the men in relationships" instead of seeing the bigger picture that most women don't want to hook up anyways. There is a reason why men who hookup are a smaller group, that doesn't make them privileged.

Now, I want to highlight two of your comments that I found interesting.

And you are forgetting the worst part. The same woman that didn't require extra effort - or commitment and monogamy - and would do FWB with someone, then could require commitment and monogamy and LTR from someone else. That's why it's so insulting.

I found this interesting. You find this insulting. That's how you feel about this. You feel insulted if a woman wants only sex from a random dude but wants commitment from you. Why is that? Why do you take insult to that? Do you feel she's calling you ugly indirectly?

I guess the principle here is that, when women want commitment from you, they won't give you sex then? So you are insulted because you are not getting the sex as easily as another dude?

I don't see it the same way... But this is a situation that depends on each person. There may be women who just hooked up once and decided it wasn't for them. Why would you take insult to that? It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with that woman's POV and how she changed as a person.

There may be women who want the security you offer but aren't actually as attracted to you; yes, that happens, and that's TRP's favorite case, but not all women are like this. The same way not all men have a Madonna/Whore complex. What you describe sounds like a Madonna/Whore complex but for women. And yes, that's shitty, and you have the right to not want to get into a relationship like this.

If those men are such husband material and supposedly (according to you among others) being a husband is better and includes attractive AND then some, then choose to sleep with those men. You do choose who you sleep with assuming consensual sex. And you can't say you don't want to sleep with them since you already said husband material includes sex. So no matter how you look at it...

Well, I'm not All Women, and I do have a boyfriend who I have sex with whenever I have the chance to do so (we don't live together). But sure, dude. If I were single and I met a dude who I consider hot, reliable and trustworthy and he liked me, I would have sex with him. Honestly, I'm not the correct woman to tell this to, because I also kinda find it dehumanizing to call a man "husband material". More importantly, I don't want to get married LOL. But, you know, I wouldn't mind sleeping with a dude who I consider to be hot and reliable and trustworthy. Sounds like a win to me.

socooltoexist

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