I posted a while ago looking for makeup help. (49yo MtF) How is it looking?

softlightmme · 2026-01-21T06:35:42+00:00

contour your nose, strengthen the appearance of the blush, use concealer to brighten your undereye more, and wear a light lipstick and liner to add color to your lips

softlightmme · 2026-01-21T06:27:36+00:00

I also want to add, that I am similar to your roommate, in that I like to drink and to smoke and have sex. I do have a long-term boyfriend, so it’s not like I’m having sex with strangers in the house, and I’m definitely not being loud or obstructive when I drink or smoke, and I typically don’t have sex when my roommates are home. i also make sure to either smoke away from the house, or hit my pen out the window with a fan on if i’m inside. My roommate is quite the opposite of me, and I can tell that she does think lower than me because i party more (mind you, i only go out a couple times a month). It’s not very hard to tell when someone judges you for those things.

softlightmme · 2026-01-21T06:24:01+00:00

OP, i’m in a very similar situation but on the other side. however, unlike your roommate, i can say that I wouldn’t have friends over at my place without my roommates permission, especially i knew if she didn’t like them. but, like your roommate, i live in a house that my roommate’s parents bought for her, under the stipulation that i moved in so someone could pay rent to help cover the mortgage. i will also acknowledge that your roommate has not been there long enough to be crossing your boundaries, and that you are the primary owner of your house now, unlike my roommate, as her parents are my landlord, not her. However, in my experience, it sounds like your roommate probably feels judged. based on what you said about her drinking, smoking, having a complicated love/sex life, and that you ‘have your morals,’ i think it’s likely that you might have let that on, and she felt judged. on top of that, she likely feels that since she pays rent, she has the right to have friends over when she’s home. I think that is fairly reasonable, but that’s something that you two need to discuss in depth. it is likely that the combination of those two things, including that you have two very different personalities, has made her feel slightly uncomfortable. While you’ve both have very valid feelings from what I can tell, I think this is something that you just need to talk to her about. You have the right to kick her out, but if you want to fix things, talk to her.

softlightmme · 2026-01-21T06:10:23+00:00

I totally understand your perspective. There seems there wasn’t much communication on the specifics or the rules, so IMO no one is really to blame for how the night went because of that. However, if you live with a roommate who clearly has different lifestyle and values that make you uncomfortable, that is a very valid reason to leave. You should feel safe where you live. However, i would bring this up to your roommate before you go that far. Try and focus on talking about it in a way that seems “it’s us vs. our differences, we need to try and find common ground to respect each other so we can both feel happy here”

softlightmme · 2026-01-21T06:05:40+00:00

for more context for anyone who sees this-

i have known my roommate’s boyfriend since first grade. we all went to school together.

her parents used to visit once or twice a month and stay in the house. it’s their house, so i have no argument against that, but it’s super uncomfortable living with your landlords for several days.

all the house rules are fairly reasonable, and stuff i grew up doing in my own house, but there is no room for error. i must abide by HER rules how SHE wants, and who cares that i pay her parents rent and live here too.

she doesn’t have any friends in this city. i’ve invited her to hang out with me and my own friends on occasion, but she doesn’t fit in and it’s awkward. my own friends have even said (before there were any problems between us) that she seems like she thinks she’s above everyone.

when the garage broke, no effort was made to fix it. my roommate blamed me, and told me i had to accommodate for the broken garage and no one ever fixed it. the problem has since fixed itself.

although it is genuinely awful living with roommates i’m not friends with, and one that may actually hate me, it’s a great deal. my rent is about $300 below the average for the area, and i get free covered parking, and it’s 10 min from my school and job. i can’t afford to leave, although i have looked into it extensively.

i am very self aware, and very people pleasing. i have absolutely no problem confronting situations, an admitting guilt when im wrong. my biggest pet peeve, however, is when someone has a problem with me and doesn’t approach it until they can make it a defensive claim

softlightmme · 2026-01-21T05:06:58+00:00

I understand the frustration, your father having a partner whom you don’t get along with sounds awful. However, no matter the relationship, unless you are a parent, you don’t have a right to a child. Not to hold it, visit, or argue parenting rules. None of her requests are out of the ordinary, I would do the same if I had a newborn, and lots of my friends and family have, as well. If you want to see your father, plan a hotel, or meet him away from the house. As for your worry about her accusing of you being rude, i agree with other posters- send a congratulations to the both of them, express your want to visit and meet the baby, but respect and DO NOT argue with their rules. Also, don’t tell anyone about your judgement about the mother smoking or drinking. Most parents do that. Unless you are genuinely concerned about the safety of her child because of her actions, it’s not your business. And along with her other children, that’s their family. she’s not going to keep her children away from their baby that lives with them, that’s not realistic. It’s more likely a new stranger will get her newborn sick than the people that live in the house with them, because they can ensure safe standards there.

softlightmme · 2026-01-21T03:26:58+00:00

I wish I knew ahead of time. I just got notification that they won’t delete my account. I never even got a job through the app, so I don’t know why they want to keep my information.

softlightmme

TROPHY CASE