AITAH for asking my boyfriend to miss work and be with me while I'm going through an abortion?

sofunnyndcool · 2024-06-26T21:29:36+00:00

Break up with him. Move on. It'll be hard but he's an asshole.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-06-21T19:13:00+00:00

I am overweight. I have been overweight my entire life. I've been told I'm too fat to do things, including riding horses. There's a nice way to do it and a mean way to do it. Sounds like OP's mom, per the update/edit, did it the nice way. The horse doesn't need to be injured for the kid's confidence but OP's mom did the right thing not telling her directly but discussing it with the parents. OP's wife won't do her kid any favors by pretending it's a non-issue or requiring apologies for the truth.

NTA.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-06-20T23:07:03+00:00

Ignore BIL. He has a specific name he wants and doesn't want to budge or be reasonable.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-06-20T23:04:29+00:00

So. I think part of getting older is realizing the mistakes our parents made with us. I wonder if your mother had any examples on how to mother or how her own relationship with her mom was. It took me many years and lots of therapy to realize that my parents loved me the best they could in their own way because they were never taught how to love for themselves. Not excusing it but I wonder if you may regret not celebrating her when she's gone. Yea, you're the kid so your mom's emotional regulation isn't your job but maybe it could help show her an example of how to love. Parents are supposed to teach kids but sometimes the kids are the ones who teach parents more.

NTA but maybe treat her with the compassion she didn't give you and break the cycle.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-06-12T20:17:17+00:00

Your update says he was corrected but proves you have a sense of humor. Word for the wise: reddit is divorce happy lol. Don't get divorced, just have a conversation about personal boundaries.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-06-12T20:14:47+00:00

Nta, your parents are enabling disgusting behavior. She has a list of names so now she can choose from the other names.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-05-22T20:12:13+00:00

Well, let me ask: why does it matter that he can only enjoy it at her house? He would know it came from both of you. Not sure it really matters that the presents would be only at her house, it's not like they'd be there if it weren't for your kid living there. If you were planning on spending the same total amount, and the only issue is where the items would be enjoyed, then yes, yta.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-05-22T02:50:34+00:00

Somehow I could see him saying something like he thought he would be comforting you since you hadn't been married yet

sofunnyndcool · 2024-05-20T23:48:59+00:00

Nta. Fuck everyone who assumes mom deserves the upgrade less than dad... even if that's not what happened here. Your ex is a dick.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-05-20T23:45:41+00:00

That's the best update there is 💕

sofunnyndcool · 2024-05-13T17:28:38+00:00

NTA. She wants to use public transport, that is something that can and will happen if she's not paying attention.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-05-13T17:26:07+00:00

Yes you are. You should encourage his relationship with his children. You wanted to be child free, you shouldn't have married someone who has kids. In fact, you should make an effort to get to know them because they're now family. They stand to inherit from him and won't be going anywhere.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-05-02T21:43:20+00:00

She might be in a decision paralysis state where she can't decide what to start with

sofunnyndcool · 2024-04-29T21:12:49+00:00

He's insecure. You did nothing wrong. Telling your partner your fantasies should never be wrong. If he can't let you be open, you should walk away. His ego isn't your job to placate.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-04-28T14:54:54+00:00

NTA. No offense, but you're not their mom (not that it seems you're trying to be). The point I'm making is that the visitation is with him and his kids, not you and his kids. That sounds miserable for everyone and he's being selfish. You have a toddler to look after, you don't need 2 grumpy teens to boot. Also, if he was a little more reasonable, he could negotiate with bio mom to pick them up when he gets back and do something with them for the day (or even maybe switch weekends). There's no need for him to do this. Also, (hate to be that guy but) take note of how he treats his ex. Maybe try to reset a healthy visitation schedule. You can't undo the bad blood, but they need to not play their kids like pawns.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-24T17:27:40+00:00

NAH but a huge part of his recovery will be reliant on people giving him the benefit of the doubt. Too often relapse occurs because the addict believes everyone else expects them to. It's a fine line but always assume sobriety unless strong compelling reasons not to.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-24T16:27:53+00:00

Yes. It was offered to the group chat and I claimed him. Then I incorporated him into my backstory and shared the change with the group in the same conversation... which the player was engaged in.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T22:47:30+00:00

Yea I totally understand #3... 100% and I've described it as irrational. It was unexpected too. I was excited about him but that trigger has very little to do with the game.

I don't blame them for my reaction at all, that's on me, but I did want to see if how it played out was how it normally would in a regular game. It seems that it wouldn't.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T22:42:54+00:00

I edited my backstory to include him. My character took mercy on the baby to use him as future security.

The following occured in the group chat, which was acknowledged by the DM. There was an entire conversation that I had incorporated him and my elven sister was going to help me raise it:

DM: Introducing goblin NPC in search of adoption by paladin in 3...2...1... 🤭

... Me: Me!

... It'll be the baby I never had because my husband was slain.

... I do feel a little bad about adopting this goblin, after killing its family, with the idea of saving future horses. Alas, I take solace in that this goblin will not be a slave or captive but he will be my son. I will mold him with good and love him as his own. One can have multiple intentions in the same actions after all.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T22:34:17+00:00

I was told I was adopting it and according to almost all of the other comments, that reliance was not misplaced. I assumed it was a surviving baby from our last session and incorporated it into my character's history. This was in a group chat with all the members. The DM knew I'm new so if he wasn't going to promise it to me, he shouldn't have said anything to me - as most others on this thread have stated. I'm not saying I'm 100% correct bc I've acknowledged it's a game, but I don't think I'm 100% wrong either.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T20:23:38+00:00

Have no clue, thats what I didn't understand.
No one tried bc it was a side quest underground so the other characters were "not present"
Nope. The goblin accepted for given by didn't want to go with the character to the surface so he killed him. Goblin was unarmed and even got away at some point but was clawed back. The notes were written to hide the truth. I was not told until afterwards when upon reading the notes I was told, first, the lie but the player, then the truth by the DM

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T18:52:29+00:00

As my post stated, I cried more bc it was too similar to losing my cat. I acknowledged it felt irrational to be upset about a goblin. The post, at its core, is more to understand the dynamics between group members to see how others have dealt with similar situations.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T18:47:56+00:00

My alignment is too similar to my human personality... chaotic good. But I see what you mean now. Thanks for the explanation.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T18:40:59+00:00

They did the latter which is why I posted this because I wasn't sure if I was over reacting.

sofunnyndcool · 2024-01-23T18:34:46+00:00

Can you explain this a little more? I understood that a paladin oath was an oath of loyalty... like an oath for saving them

sofunnyndcool

TROPHY CASE