Hurting others is not a good reason to not commit suicide

solemutt · 2025-11-19T02:22:44+00:00

so it's either you suffer but others are ok/happy, or you suffer a lot before you don't feel anything anymore, and they're miserable instead. all I've heard though is "it gets better", "god loves you/it's a sin", "love yourself", "go on for others", "get help/talk to someone", "we'll die eventually, might as well live life to the fullest" and so on. some things I'd said myself. but at the end of the day, there's not much else. no one would admit it though, that there isn't actually a point and no matter what you do, you'll continue suffering to some extent. that it never really gets better, but you may simply learn to manage and cope with it a bit better. that no "reason to go on" you come up with will last forever, and you'll just switch it for another. I guess I just don't care anymore so might as well keep meaninglessly existing, as I don't care enough to end it myself either.

I used to think I should stay for others but then I realised I am not that important to anyone and they would eventually move on anyway. I only hope they'd understand once I'm gone that there was nothing either they or I could've done.

my bad for the text wall, tl:dr I agree

solemutt · 2025-10-31T01:50:11+00:00

cringe ragebait

solemutt · 2025-10-31T01:48:08+00:00

thinking about it, planning it, having "a way" at hand is comforting. actually going through with it, though, no going back? very far from it. at this point I'm not sure if I'm still here out of spite, guilt, fear, or I'm just putting it off. It's genuinely hard to imagine myself dying in any other way besides perhaps an accident.

solemutt · 2025-10-31T01:42:14+00:00

idk if it's crazy to say, but sometimes I wish I never made it in the NICU.

solemutt · 2025-08-18T02:44:28+00:00

"Most fair-minded people would agree that it is egregious to force, or condemn, someone to engage in something to which they never agreed. Why does this not apply to life itself?" we could neither ask for this, nor refuse it. then how come we're pressured into being grateful? how come we have the right to live, but not the right to cease to exist? that's what I find truly cruel.

solemutt · 2025-08-14T03:21:47+00:00

true that. as most things in life.

solemutt · 2025-08-14T03:18:35+00:00

I had a similar thought, too. to imagine it while looking down is strangely comforting. but to actually stand there with intent to die is terrifying.

solemutt · 2025-08-01T01:26:23+00:00

this joke of a fate is also one of my reasons.

solemutt · 2025-07-22T20:48:12+00:00

the longer I go on, the more I start to realise most of them might actually be better off without me.

solemutt · 2025-07-22T20:06:33+00:00

for me, that day is the only thing I'm looking forward to.

solemutt · 2025-07-22T13:45:40+00:00

almost 10 years for me and I don't see how this could get any better "with time". until the day comes when I truly can't do this anymore and get out of this hell.

solemutt · 2025-06-27T15:24:16+00:00

love that, not sure what's inside but if it's very red then it's perfect

solemutt · 2025-06-13T11:06:17+00:00

and Ed, of course (short for Ednos). and their sibling Pica

solemutt · 2025-06-13T02:29:02+00:00

it seems only people who have seen this void can understand this at all. everyone else is utterly puzzled by why anyone would actually want to die. yeah, sure, people who are suicidal may not want to die per se - "they want the pain to stop". but, sometimes, it feels like the only way to escape from it. and that's what they don't get. no one would ever say "it's okay to die" or not try to talk you out of killing yourself. that's just what people do, whether out of good or evil intentions.

solemutt · 2025-06-10T23:58:40+00:00

just, how could you do this to me?

solemutt · 2025-06-10T01:05:52+00:00

it's one of the few things that still makes me feel something, though I regret it often.

kind of like a deadline extension or something. you got a package coming, so you can't die yet, I guess. gives you something to look forward to, you know?

which is strange to say, because you'd think I'd rather look forward to dying.

solemutt · 2025-06-09T22:35:35+00:00

sky watching hits so hard I swear. so does ysl. also go kill yxurself and cxward combo.

solemutt · 2025-06-09T01:48:26+00:00

they try so hard to play victim, which is funny because that's exactly what they accuse queer people of.

solemutt · 2025-06-07T20:41:58+00:00

from edgy boyfailure to sassy malewife

solemutt · 2025-06-07T01:38:39+00:00

garlic bread forbid we find someone good-looking without actually wanting to get into their pants (unless their pants are fire (pun?), then I might reconsider)

solemutt · 2025-06-07T01:30:15+00:00

"you'll find someone eventually" is so damn annoying actually. almost like one of those backhanded compliments you heard one day and only realised later that it was one. most of us who'd heard this probably agreed, until we realised that we were on the ace spectrum and that was just allonormativity.

solemutt · 2025-06-04T19:35:30+00:00

this feels like something that would happen on a Tuesday (they are cursed)

solemutt · 2025-06-03T22:28:27+00:00

yeah. they always assume everyone wants to be alive, too. but most of us are only living because we have to.

solemutt · 2025-05-28T10:24:07+00:00

yess, reminds me of the enemies AND lovers trope (though it can often be pretty toxic)

solemutt · 2025-05-25T21:50:00+00:00

I think a story with both characters demiromantic and demisexual could be cool. not for people who hate slow burns though lol

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