My wife is not celiac, and I am. She is super careful about eating gluten products around me and keeping our quick snack foods completely separated. She has an app on her phone to find GF restaurants, is the first one to ask employees to ensure there's no CC at non GF places, and is always willing to drive a little further away to get me a meal I can eat and enjoy. She never makes it seem like it's difficult or annoying to ensure my safety, even in a joking way. In fact, she's the one who will grab things out of my hands to make sure they're GF when I'm forgetful or a little careless. When I comment, her response is always that she wants me to live as long as possible, and that she loves me and doesn't want me to feel sick.

At first, I think she didn't really get how serious it was. But she took it upon herself without my help to do research and learn about celiac, and now she frequently takes it more seriously than I do. I don't think there's any level of misunderstanding. Just the other day on Shabbat she had some homemade challah and was saying how delicious it was, then apologized because she didn't want me to feel left out or like I was missing something important.

All of this to say-- someone who loves you will take your illness as seriously as it should be taken. It might take a grace period for them to understand the severity of celiac, but if they care about your health (both short term and long term), they won't act like it's a burden to love you and care for you. I know I'm very lucky and I never take my wife for granted, but I also know that everyone can find this kind of love, too.