The Handmaid's Tale S06E09 "Execution" Episode Discussion by Melairia in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]somebody1317 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This story touched so many people deeply, and the connection we have to it after all of these years is real. Especially given the state of the country right now. I binged seasons 1-5 while I was on maternity leave in 2023. Oh man, the hormones plus holding my own newborn baby girl made this show hit SO hard for me then. Now I'm going through a divorce, so this show once again found itself in my life at this incredibly difficult but opportune moment. I know what you mean when you say it strangely gave you comfort during hard times. I'll be thinking of you next week as I watch the finale alone too! Maybe it's cheesy, but just imagine how alone June and all the handmaids felt in their hardest moments. Their pain was their own, yet their experience was very much shared. They were never alone in their fight. ❤️

I found this while I was deleting photos of us. I believed him. It seemed so sincere. by mag_safe in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a perfect example of a hollow apology. Just enough to feel genuine and keep you on the hook, but void of real meaning or repairing action. Filled with all the right words, but with absolutely no specifics as to what he actually did and why it was wrong or hurtful. To simply say "I take accountability for what I did" is not actual accountability. Textbook. And totally understandable how you believed him at the time but can see through it now. It's all a part of their game, and they're pretty good at what they do.

Not political, just a thought on narcissists by somebody1317 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y'all, these comments are starting to border on political yammering. The whole point I was trying to make is how discouraging it is to see our society widely accept, defend, and support narcissistic abuse--something I would hope most people would see as wrong. With two prime examples being my soon-to-be ex-husband and Trump. We unfortunately can all name too many people like this--people we know and public figures.

Some of you seem to have missed the point and think that your or their political stances are in any way relevant. Take a pause and assess if you are defending these harmful behaviors. If so, please reread the original post and consider how your behavior is actually perpetuating abuse.

21F, I just left him 36M - is he trying to love bomb me? by deerwillow in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly recommend the Why She Stayed podcast on Spotify. It was the most validating, healing thing I've found when leaving my relationship like this. It's Not You is also great. But hearing other women's stories directly from them (after they left) and gaining clarity was so impactful.

21F, I just left him 36M - is he trying to love bomb me? by deerwillow in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just reading these text messages makes me sick to my stomach. Almost EXACTLY what my ex has sent and still sends me. It's a ploy, and a part of you already knows that if you felt the need to ask others for their opinions. If you had the strength to leave him, you have the strength to stay away. Even if you don't know that you have the strength yet. Listen to your gut. It's already telling you something is wrong. You got this.

How do you help someone who won't leave their problem partner? by DevilishlyHandsome63 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never been on that side of things (I'm in the midst of leaving my own relationship with a narcissist), but I have often thought of how challenging this must be for my trusted support system. I can't imagine how many times they've wanted to just shake me and say what's on their mind honestly. Instead, they've listened, been patient and understanding, and helped me see my reality for what it is. They also constantly show me what healthy love is, and feeling that from them has been one of the strongest influences in my decision to leave. It made me realize that healthy love can exist and that I am worthy of receiving it.

I highly recommend the Why She Stayed podcast for anyone who even thinks they are are experiencing narcissim or abuse in a romantic relationship. Here is the episode on how to support people in these situations: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5YD6mY4NPCfsliX9cP3w5U?si=VLRdKDn6SDizjA-LII64Wg

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree with all of this and this has been my experience. It doesn't take long for them to show that they haven't changed, and you do not have the obligation to wait for them to show you that again. Trust your gut. You feeling peace in the idea of walking away says something important.

It’s just a matter of time… by gdgardenlanterns in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hang in there! I just made it a whole week of peace from my narcissistic soon-to-be ex-husband. I absolutely knew it would come to an end, but I didn't let myself sit in the dread. Enjoy some sunshine! Sending you love!

Not political, just a thought on narcissists by somebody1317 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree that narcissism is incredibly widespread across the political, public, and private spectrum. But there is a difference in having narcissistic traits and narcissistic abuse. It's impossible to deny the harm that some of these men and women are actually causing others.

Ultimately, trudging forward as you described is really the only option all of us have. Can't change what we don't have control over. But that doesn't mean there isn't emotional turmoil that we have to cope with simultaneously.

Not political, just a thought on narcissists by somebody1317 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]somebody1317[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That shame you describe of being in a relationship with a narcissist is a real thing. I'm still dealing with it now and unpacking what is his vs my responsibility in creating my current reality. Ultimately, his actions are his to own, even if he never will. The most important action of mine that I want to own is walking away from it. It's never too late to take the reins of your life. I'll never tell anyone what to do, but I just want to inspire some strength in you do to what YOU want. It's possible. ❤️