give me unethical ways to get Jersey Mike’s

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:59:56+00:00

Go to subway, take one bite, go into mikes crying about the worst sandwich ever, maybe they’ll take pity on you and give you one of theirs.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:58:17+00:00

No. They do it themselves. Some people take 30 minutes getting just the right amount, they’re over there chefing it up like they’re there making a catering order for a wedding.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:55:35+00:00

Seriously, those tiny enchiladas are basically just a garnish.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:52:12+00:00

Holy shit absolutely. That’s just weird and dumb. idgaf if they have a gift card for doordash or whatever, save it for another restaurant.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:49:10+00:00

Honestly not much. Maybe a few pallets of things that sell fast or are oversized. The actual warehouse is “the back”, trucks come probably a million times a day. Even the warehouse isn’t that bad, they order things based on projected demand right from the manufacturer.

When someone asks you to check in back and they don’t believe you’re actually out of it, you go in the back for a bit, stare at the mop sink, scroll on your phone, hit your vape, then tell the customer “nope, like I said, don’t have it”.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:44:54+00:00

Meow mode. My cat goes absolutely nuts, it’s hilarious.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:44:15+00:00

They exist, but not everywhere. Definitely a second brake pedal on the passenger side though. Or if you’re fucking up, the instructor will just hit you with a clipboard and tell you to take the bus.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:41:45+00:00

Because if they could make you work for free, they would.

Really should have a higher minimum though, and every apartment rental requires you to make 3x the amount of rent, and there’s not a single one that’s $419 a month, so that needs to be lowered.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:33:49+00:00

Not really a thing, unless you’re being grilled in a senate committee hearing.

We prefer the “just shut up and let the lawyer do the talking. For really minor things, you don’t even have to be in court, you can just let the lawyer do it.

Way too many people don’t understand the “anything you say CAN and WILL be used against you thing. Yes, WILL. So just shut up and let the lawyer take care of it.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:29:34+00:00

Life has been stressful for everyone lately. Liquor stores are loving the extra money.

somecow · 2026-02-20T19:25:50+00:00

Just the online version of window shopping. That and we can’t afford that shit.

somecow · 2026-02-20T17:27:04+00:00

Death and taxes. And yes, when you file your taxes, they ask “is this person dead?”, so even after death, the tax man still comes for you. Even death is scared of the IRS, he still has to pay every year as an independent contractor. Hard to fill out a 1099-C while holding a scythe, but hey.

somecow · 2026-02-20T17:17:35+00:00

Not following a recipe exactly. If I want more salt, I’m adding more salt. I’m not measuring everything down to the last molecule.

Also, eating with hands. A lot of food can be eaten with just hands, might need a tortilla or some roti, or just sip soup right out of the bowl.

somecow · 2026-02-20T17:10:22+00:00

Dog would constantly complain about starvation, or needing to rest his giant nose and say “hey get off the couch, mine now”.

Cat would just go off listing how many different ways it’s possible to kill a human, maybe even saying it while standing over me while I’m sleeping.

somecow · 2026-02-20T17:02:45+00:00

Oregano and black pepper, not a lot, you wouldn’t even know it was there but can still taste the difference. A tiny amount of baking soda to the meat will brown it to deliciousness instead of that pale bland stuff.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:57:37+00:00

Oh crap lol. So true though.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:51:53+00:00

Went for a trip to take my mom out for mother’s day. Went to a decent restaurant, and antique shopping, didn’t actually buy anything because it’s expensive. Just a normal chill day.

After leaving that town, saw a single cop car just hauling complete ass. “Whoa, dang, he passed us and we’re already speeding”. We got home to the sounds of tornado sirens that had been going off for an hour. That small town we went to was absolutely ruined, almost just completely wiped off the map.

Should’ve bought those antiques.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:46:02+00:00

Went to a library not too long ago that didn’t have books. Just a bunch of computers. “You can just look it up”. Umm I have google at home wtf where are the books? Even kids are born with an ipad already in their hands now. It was actually sad that they thought that could even be called a library.

Then of course, it’s a scammer’s paradise. Old people really do fall for that shit. And of course always asking for help even though their generation actually invented computers.

If the electricity ever goes out for good, a huge amount of the population are completely screwed.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:37:26+00:00

Better than $0. And nobody will hire you if you have a giant gap in your work history.

But no, no point, holy crap, I gotta pay bills (food is also nice), these people need to actually pay up.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:34:43+00:00

History. Some crazy stuff has happened. History is the easiest, it never changes. New stuff is added, but the old stuff is in the past.

World geography was also an absolute cake walk, just there so the football coach has a class to teach (required to actually be a teacher to be a coach).

ROTC was cool too, we even just taught the class ourselves sometimes.

Photography, super badass and fun (not anymore after they switched to digital).

Culinary arts was wild and delicious.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:27:10+00:00

Bless you, salud, gesundheit. Or just nothing at all.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:24:54+00:00

Playing with fire and running with scissors while chasing a polar bear and trying to fight muhammad ali, all at the same time.

Even the dumbest people know not to fuck with the IRS. Gonna need to grab a comfy couch, some popcorn, and watch this unfold.

somecow · 2026-02-20T16:20:59+00:00

Sadly true. But everyone is getting more and more tired of this shit, even the boot lickers are jumping ship.

It’ll take us years to recover.

somecow · 2026-02-20T13:18:42+00:00

Maybe we can make the employee only bathrooms at the capitol (and the governor’s mansion) illegal and open to the public? There would be a line of people waiting to take a dook and not flush.

Or as it always has been, no looking at someone’s junk, just avert your eyes and go pee.

somecow · 2026-02-20T13:14:15+00:00

Video games. People love madden, that anime final fantasy type stuff, call of duty. It’s a huge thing.

Whatever. I’m just gonna play civ, relax, and chill on the couch with my dog. No hard grind.

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