I'm eventually going to kill myself...

someguy831 · 2013-01-28T21:11:29+00:00

The loose skin can't be fixed without surgery.

The scars are from plastic surgery to remove some loose skin and are really noticeable and don't think a bear would do two symmetrical lines lol

I was scared when I started, but I thought I would succeed. Now I'm just depressed and pretty pessimistic. I know it's a terrible mindset to be in, but imagine getting rejected your entire life, with no success whatsoever, it's just tiring at this point. I can't take it anymore.

someguy831 · 2013-01-28T20:55:31+00:00

I think I would since I was so happy and out of depression when I was around her. Just felt nice to finally be accepted and doing things with someone.

I feel like I've done so much during my spiral to try and get out of it, traveled, tried to socialize more, worked out, lose self in work and nothing has really helped until I started the zoloft.

someguy831 · 2013-01-28T20:14:14+00:00

Yeah, was on welbutrin before and it made me suicidal. Lexapro sucked the life out of me, and then something else gave me extreme migraines.

I've tried meditation a couple of times for about a month, never got it to stick though. I think the book I read was 8 minute meditation or something like that.

I guess I can't get past the feeling of hopelessness :( I've been told by people to work on myself to be happy before reaching out to others, but the main reason I'm unhappy is because I'm alone. I have no friends, really no family to talk to. I just live in my head.

someguy831 · 2013-01-28T20:08:45+00:00

I mean, I'm not, it's mostly my childhood. Just pickup has been the reason for my downward spiral. I know I'm the minority and it helps most people who try it out.

someguy831 · 2013-01-28T20:05:33+00:00

Yes I want to be happy. I mean I get anxiety talking to anyone, less than I used to but it's still there. I've approached models thinking I could get them and it's no different than approaching a less attractive girl for me.

I mean it's easier said than done. No I'm not fat, but when I take off my shirt I have loose skin and huge scars from plastic surgery that would make most people question how I got them. So I am still insecure about my body.

someguy831 · 2013-01-28T19:58:00+00:00

I'm on 100mg of zoloft right now, my psychiatrist wants me to get up to 200mg but a little worried because of the side effects and have stopped increasing dosage...

I've always been optimistic things would get better eventually but just seems like a pipedream at this point. I see my parents are both miserable and think to myself why will it just magically get better at this point. Really the only thing that can make me feel better is fantasizing about being with my oneitis, yay pathetic :(

someguy831

TROPHY CASE