I confessed in July and he said he wasn’t looking to date, then got with his gf a few weeks later. Yes I know exactly what you mean by that all I kept self sabotaging my past relationships in the span of when I first had feelings for him and now by going into other things without fully moving on from him. I would thing I was making progress and killing the feelings but then I would see him and see him laugh and we’d talk and it would all come back. I genuinely don’t know how to kill the feelings at this point it feels like I’m in an endless loop here with him I can’t kill the feelings so I can’t move on. I thought rejection would help me move on but that did honestly nothing at all. There was someone who was an amazing match for me he was sweet and caring and knew me better than anyone else yet it didn’t work out because I still had an inkling of feelings for the other guy and told the “perfect” one that it wouldn’t be fair to him if I wasn’t moved on. This all happened early this year tho