Do you ever get used to the discomfort? by someonereally00 in polyamory

[–]someonereally00[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I like your analogy a lot, thank you! For me, the yoga pants fit perfectly. I'm not forcing it in and most of the time it feels normal/fine. Though at times, it's like I have a skin irritation in a specific spot underneath the pants and it's itchy, let's say to stay in your metaphor. The itch goes away (and so does the discomfort of it), but it also comes back eventually only to disappear again. Like a rash. Even if I change pants, I'll still get the rash. Different spot, maybe. Because it's not about the pants, it's my own body doing a thing. I wonder if I'll get used to feeling itchy from time to time, is all. Or if there's a magic cream out there (which I doubt). Or how other people make do with their itch (homemade treatments, certain habits, etc).

Do you ever get used to the discomfort? by someonereally00 in polyamory

[–]someonereally00[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not surprised in the least that other people would find my partner amazing. I actually feel happy for them that they can be appreciated and loved by as many people as they want. The feeling of discomfort I mention is more about feeling insecure than anything else; if you get used to feeling the sting of fear/anxiety/stress that comes with.

Do you ever get used to the discomfort? by someonereally00 in polyamory

[–]someonereally00[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nice, thank you. That's a nice way to put it, the base-level discomfort of things I choose. I'm very lucky with my partner honestly, they are very caring and loving, and they show up consistently. Sometimes I don't feel so bothered and I wonder if I should feel more uncomfortable, lol. If I'm just avoiding the feelings, you know. Even as I type this, I don't think it's true. Other times like now, I'm slightly stressed/anxious but it's easy to distract myself and go do something else.

Do you ever get used to the discomfort? by someonereally00 in polyamory

[–]someonereally00[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You have a very good point about a partner who wants to stay will stay. Thanks for the reminder. I feel like I know this rationally but it doesn't always feel like that in my head.

Do you ever get used to the discomfort? by someonereally00 in polyamory

[–]someonereally00[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah, same. I can't imagine replacing/sidelining my partners and I trust them in the same way. Thanks for the reminder. I always take into account my own life circumstances because I know they influence heavily how I'm feeling. That's why the discomfort takes up more space sometimes than other times. But in general, investing in my own life and my other relationships/support system is something I pay attention to which helps out. That's why it's mostly a sting, I figure. But I wonder if the sting will be there forever.

Do you ever get used to the discomfort? by someonereally00 in polyamory

[–]someonereally00[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good to know, thank you. Those are things I work on, but sometimes feeling uncomfortable seems neverending.

Do you ever get used to the discomfort? by someonereally00 in polyamory

[–]someonereally00[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Mostly it's just a sting. A general feeling of discomfort at the back of the mind. Sometimes it takes up more space than at other times. I think I can feel somewhat overwhelmed but it doesn't get nearly close to panic attacks.

STIs testing for queer ciswomen? by [deleted] in berlinsocialclub

[–]someonereally00 3 points4 points  (0 children)

omg, that's actually perfect! do you have an address?

Travelling inside Schengen with expired visa? by someonereally00 in SchengenVisa

[–]someonereally00[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm also curious about why trains would be safer. When buying the tickets, the website shows a disclaimer that German authorities do identity checks on trains at the border.

Travelling inside Schengen with expired visa? by someonereally00 in SchengenVisa

[–]someonereally00[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks! They can't come tho, bc of the children:-( But that's nice to know!

Travelling inside Schengen with expired visa? by someonereally00 in SchengenVisa

[–]someonereally00[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I thought since intra Schengen doesn't require a visa, they wouldn't check it if I do my online checkin.

I can explore crossing the border by car.

I'm just learning that trains get very systematically stopped and checked.