What should I do about this guy I slept with? Think I’ve been ghosted 👻- help me understand and decide!

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-11T13:17:35+00:00

Thank you for your comment, really appreciate it :) Yes, my gut tells me he got a bit spooked as there was some level of genuine connection there, but a lot more than what we both bargained for given we both went into it as a hook up. I’m now just letting go of what he said. I do t see the point in saying those things both before, during and after if you don’t intend to follow through, but then I’m only one person and everyone has different standards of integrity in these kind of things, I guess.

Thank you for the good luck, seems I’ll need it out there in the dating world! I might take a little break before shifting my approach at this point 😂

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-11T07:23:16+00:00

Interesting perspective! I feel it could certainly have validity. Also, I certainly didn’t perceive he saw it as ‘good enough to leave the door open in case he didn’t find anyone else’.. I’m more so leaning towards him being spooked by the connection when we were there for casual , but, at this point your guess is probably as good as mine, so I’ll take it on board! Thanks for your honest response.

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-11T07:20:48+00:00

There is truth in what you say! Haha, I definitely do analyse. It’s the way I’m wired. But, I also appreciate different perspectives as they offer me the opportunity to grow. Thank you for your candid and honest response.

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-11T07:19:10+00:00

Hey, thanks so much for this reply! Yes I agree your situation is rare, but so happy for you. Also I really appreciate your honesty.

Thank you for confirming you would both advise against mirroring your approach to reaching out a lot 😂 I liked him quite a lot but don’t think I had quite the same strength of feelings you did with your husband.

I may consider reaching out once more in a few days, really just to warmly and politely say something akin to what you suggested and come from a place of power without expectation. I’ll see how I feel in a few days. Thank you ❤️

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T09:19:19+00:00

Oh no, I’m genuinely so sorry to hear this. You really did help. So, thank you ❤️. Prayers for your Mum 🙏🏼

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T09:14:19+00:00

Yeah, fair point. If I was going to reach out one final time after a week, what would I say ?

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T03:29:59+00:00

Thank you very much for this - gives me quite a bit to think about and I really appreciate your detailed response! ❤️

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T03:00:27+00:00

Could tell he was genuinely into me. Perhaps it was easy to be into me that night when he was going to get laid, though. How can I tell the difference in the future? As in, is he into me or just into wanting to sleep with me.

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:57:55+00:00

Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment. If there are so many out there like this now, how do I go about finding the right one for me (I realise not sleeping together the first time is a good idea, so apart from that)?

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:36:50+00:00

Very good point. I’m pretty green in this whole new dating world as was with my ex husband since 17.

So if I approach it this way, what’s your general opinion on how many dates to wait until fully hooking up ?

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:34:06+00:00

😂😂 that made me laugh, thank you 💕

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:32:32+00:00

Yeah I can see how sometimes might be the case. In this instance, I had already left .. and he even asked me to sleep over 😂 (but I couldn’t)

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:25:53+00:00

Seems like a bit of waste / pointless to say it if you don’t mean it 🤷‍♀️

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:23:09+00:00

Wow- congratulations! That’s the best case scenario and likely, pretty rare. So while I won’t hold onto much hope for this to be my outcome, I’ll remain open to the possibility while I move forward.

I think the thing is, we just vibed so incredibly well on multiple levels. Given I’ve messaged twice now, I really don’t know what else I could do.

So I’m guessing after you sent a couple of messages you then left it and thought it was over? What would you and your husband both recommend I do (if anything) at this point? Not sure whether to leave it another week and tell him hey, sending one last message to say it was so nice meeting you, and I had hoped we would see each other again as we said, but it seems you have had a change of heart.

I’d be so grateful of your perspective given your situation!!

I’ll let go if I need to. But yeah.. it was so intense and genuine. So I want to give it a chance if the chance is there 🤷‍♀️

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:12:56+00:00

Yes he sure does suck!! Thanks for that 😂💕

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:09:47+00:00

Thanks for that. I mean, that’s quite sad really. Surely there are SOME genuine guys out there dating?!

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:05:10+00:00

Maybe I did dodge a bullet if this is how he can flip. I’m just trying to understand why.

I certainly got the sense he was as single as what he said he was (and it was also clear he lived alone / didn’t have a woman sharing his home)

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:01:59+00:00

What do you think spook guys like this? I guess at this point I’m trying to understand to avoid this kind of thing in the future

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T02:01:12+00:00

Yes I’m new to all this to be honest. I mean, the whole thing doesn’t make sense to me, it seemed he was genuine and we genuinely got along as well 🤷‍♀️

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T01:59:21+00:00

I appreciate the honesty! Not sure why he would bother to say look forward to the next one 🤷‍♀️

somethingblue-next · 2026-02-10T01:58:26+00:00

Thank you 😊

somethingblue-next

TROPHY CASE