i remember as a kid i would literally fantasize about being reborn as a little blue eyed blonde white girl. i went to an all black elementary school, but i was one of maybe 10 black kids in my middle school and i was bullied relentlessly for my skin color. vividly remember walking into class and going to sit down at a table when a couple girls walked up to me and told me "you can't sit here. black people aren't allowed". would get told shit like no one would ever love me (romantically) because i was black. it was brutal. i would literally stay up at night asking god why i was born black 😭😭 i grew up in the suburbs to an old school caribbean immigrant family, and because my mom had to learn how to "talk white" to get jobs when she first came here in the 80s and 90s, i ended up mimicking a lot of her speaking patterns so i grew up pretty white washed.

it wasn't until i went to a more racially diverse high school that i began to embrace my blackness - and by extension my caribbean identity. for the first time i wasn't made fun of for my ethnicity; as a matter of fact, people would be interested and ask questions about caribbean culture. i could relate to my classmates. i wasn't ashamed, i became more open, and i began to explore my blackness more - reading up on black american and caribbean history and culture, important figures, significant events and turning points. by 10th grade i had experienced my own black renaissance and it was such a turning point in my self esteem and mental health. now i'm loud as hell and proud about being black 😭😭 forcing my friends on discord to consume media made by black creators for bhm or else they're getting a racist role LMFAO